To expect MIL to put some pyjama bottoms on on?

[BillHadersNewWife]

I genuinely don't know. I had a thread about her staying with us the other day...she's 75 and has sold her house and is meant to be looking for another. She goes to bed but then gets up a few times...normal things...back and to the kitchen for a drink or to the bathroom whatever. Bur she's always wearing a t shirt and knickers...and it's not a long nightie type t shirt but one that just sits above her knickers.

I find this so...invasive or something. I just dont want to see MIL in her knickers. However...I am admittedly a bit of a prude sometimes.

Should I say something or not? Jokingly maybe?

Can your husband just shout out

Mother, put some pyjama bottoms on please, I don’t want to see your knickers!

Naked arse or covered by cloth arse - I honestly can't get worked up about the second one?

What rubbish! How many more boxes do you want to tick?

But it's not gross in other situations. I just find there is a lot of things in life to get worked up about and this isn't one of them

Your house is too warm.

You'd think so wouldn't you?

Easily solved would have thought.

To me that's the behaviour of a guest acting as if they're in their own home instead of a temporary visitor in your home. Which is never great, but actively worrying when it's your homeless MIL!

Just have a word about her respecting guest boundaries, and make sure she is actively looking for somewhere to live, with DH's help if necessary.

It's lovely of you to support MIL while homeless, but her having to abide by your house rules for guests will help keep the freedom of having her own home attractive.

Yup - this!!!
Turn the heating off!!!🥶

I would ask if she wants to borrow a dressing gown!
I wear long t shirts in bed, always pop a dressing gown in to go to the loo, and have pj bottoms for the mornings. My teenage boys happily wander round in their boxers, and that’s ok, but they live here! I would expect a guest to want to cover up a bit more. Just my opinion

If walking around first thing in the morning in skivvies and a tee is a sign of serious dementia disorder then I've had that for years.

Your house is obviously far too warm. There's no way I am wandering about in just a T-shirt and knickers at the moment and I'm in the southeast. It's full length, long sleeved, buttoned up to the neck, brushed cotton nightdress here with a fleece dressing gown on the minute I step out of bed.

You need to turn off the heating and make sure she has a dressing gown to hand.

I'mGuessing you don't have DCs . Nice that you re letting her stay.

But really it's ok to say something ..

Of course it only works if you and DP don't walk around in your knickers with your buts on show

"Mum you've a fab figure but can you please put some pj bottoms on - shorts or trews-as it's weird for me seeing your butt when you walk around in knickers and a short T-shirt . Much as I love you - that's tmi!"

And reply "but we're not a swimming pool/ beach" if she replies with you'd see more there...

IMO at 8 o'clock it's not on, but if it's in the middle of the night and she could reasonably expect not to bump into anyone (3am) then I'd think that was ok. When I get up for a nighttime wee I don't always put a dressing gown on, I just take the(small) risk that someone else might also be up.

Get hubby to have a word. It's fine doing that in your own home but not in somebody else's. Or even if someone you don't live with is staying with us I would cover up. If she wouldn't answer the door to the postman dressed like that it's not appropriate for anyone else's eye's.

I am not a prude. I go braless, I'm perfectly happy with people without bras. In shops wherever. I would not usually police someone's choice of clothing.

I would absolutely ask someone staying in my house not to walk around in their underwear. I 100% do not want to see MIL, FIL, DM, DF in their underwear.

This is your home op and if you don’t like it, you should ask your mil to cover up a little. I wouldn’t like it either and you don’t need to be rude. Pj shorts or a dressing gown would be fine. Underwear is called underwear as it’s supposed to have something over it. Neither dd nor I go round in knickers and a t-shirt. We aren’t prudish and I don’t care too much if she sees me naked. It’s also about teaching dd safe boundaries. From a safeguarding perspective your mil would be better to get into the habit of ensuring she is dressed before encountering other adults. When we’ve had female and male family / friends to stay over the years, they’ve never gone around in just their knickers or boxers. It’s just manners and I am surprised at all these comments to the contrary.

In my life I'm all about the say the elephant in the room
"I just wondered... if/about .."
"I noticed.."
"Can you please..."
And I take it in the chin of anyone says well you're being prudish ...yeah well maybe I am but it's still my home

Make sure everyone to get one of these when you hit 75. Your body is disgustingly old and no one should see it.

www.amazon.co.uk/Bath-Robes-Womens-Length-Chenille/dp/B00UHNA3X4/ref=sr_1_31?keywords=Chenille+Robe&qid=1674659945&sr=8-31

From a safeguarding perspective your mil would be better to get into the habit of ensuring she is dressed before encountering other adults

Pretty sure that at 75 years old MIL knows to get dressed before she goes out.

Well yeah. I’m sure we can all think of examples of things we’d find more or less comfortable or potentially distressing depending whose genitals they involved.

Me too! When I get up to get my morning coffee to take back upstairs I usually put something on, I live alone but once got caught out by the windown cleaners coming round earlier than expected, could have been very traumatic, for them, had I not been able to move quickly!
When I go visiting I always pack some pj's and dress before I go downstairs in the morning.

Same

Fucking hell. I never wear a bra. You'd hate me.

Not this weather, obvs. Fleecy dressing gown and socks. The height of glamour 😄

Good god I'm shocked at the number of people on here who are terrified or revolted at the idea of seeing legs and/or pants 😂
I really can't see the issue tbh but then I regularly wander round the house in pants and a tshirt