She has a Gucci belt, but lives with her parents

[Shallowshallowness]

New mum in the mums group, seems a bit up her own bum about designer labels and clothes etc. She’s often a bit sneery and definitely does that withering looking you up and down type of thing.
Her, m her Dh and kids, live with her parents in a big house, she dives their spare Land-rover car and they pay her dc’s school fees.
Aibu to think she’s got a bit of a nerve to act high and mighty when none of it is her money and the rest of us earn money to pay our own mortgages, bills and cars and therefore maybe don’t own a Gucci belt 🙈😅

Good, I think you need a laugh.

I realise you're trying to shut me up by claiming that if I say I don't care, it means I do. It's a pretty well-worn technique that hasn't got any stronger on the internet through overuse.

It doesn't change the fact that when someone I don't know, don't like and don't respect gives me a nasty look, I don't care. There's literally no reason to.

The belt might be fake- can anyone actually tell real and fake apart

OP you need to cultivate the attitude of not giving a shiny shit. I've had instances of people looking me up and down and I just laugh at them, because honestly it is way too ridiculous to take seriously. The kind of people who do that kind of shit are very insecure and up themselves. Leave her to her Gucci belts and get on with your own life. She can only make you feel shit if you let her.

Haha no i dont have a gucci belt, i live in leggings and pjs anyway 🤣🤣

Hands up if you've just googled Gucci belt to see what they look like..

.... What a conspiracy theory, that I'm trying to shut you up?! 😅 I was only responding casually as you went out of your way to quote me first and insist you sooo don't care. You can post however many times you want about how little you care ;)

This conversation is getting a little childish so let's end it here. :) Fwiw I do know - and respect - plenty of incredibly chill people who genuinely don't give a shit when confronted with overt/repeated rudeness! They don't go round announcing that repeatedly though haha

I once worked with someone who used to go on about his designer gear hoping to impress. At lunch time he’d be sniffing around everyone hoping to scrounge food or a smoke. One day I asked him what was the point of his DG if he had to scrounge off everyone for food. He, thought I, was BU 😆

What I do care about is women who do give these idiots their headspace insisting that it isn't possible for anyone else to feel differently, and that anyone who says it just doesn't mean anything to them when an irrelevant person throws them a dirty look is lying.

It seems you just want to drag others down with you. And you think that won't happen if anyone is allowed to say they just don't care about these prats.

And if they reiterate it after being accused of lying about it, it's just further proof that it's not possible.

It is possible. I've done it plenty of times, I'm sure I'll do it again and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Plenty of women just don't care about some twat giving them the stink eye. It's just a pity that you think, since you can't do it, nobody else should be allowed to.

Even if she does live with her parents, what is the problem with that?

I think your multiple and long posts are somewhat negating your ‘care free’ laughing emojis.

Yes, your language ("drag down, idiots, prats, twat") is pretty telling... I do think you and many others care about it in the sense of some perceived battle – like you "lose out" if you care. Which is why you keep going out of your way to state that you don't care.

That's fine. That's actually the way I view it too. I actively don't give headspace to it (apart from maybe curiosity – I don't really feel as strongly as you do by viewing these people as idiots/prats/twats, I just regard them neutrally as people who are maybe a bit insecure), and for the most part that's pretty easy.

I do however know people who genuinely wouldn't give it a second's thought, wouldn't even comment on a silly thread like this, wouldn't get into a back and forth about how little or how much they care! 😅 As I said this is very childish and I acknowledge I've allowed myself to be one half to this childishness!

I'm quite verbose in general! I did and do find it amusing though. It's like a silly imaginary competition to show how much you care the least!

Why don't you just call her out on it ?

@BunchHarman and in case it's not clear, I feel a bit sorry for OP for the pile-on (which I also find somewhat funnily ironic).

It's only human to be momentarily affronted by repeated withering once-overs from the same person. I don't know if I'd make a bitchy "revenge" post on MN myself about that rude person, but the emotional reaction I think is fairly common. So not sure why people are painting OP as some wicked witch for a perfectly human reaction.

Like I said, I know plenty of people who wouldn't even bother clicking on this thread, but the MNers on this thread reiterating over and over again just how little they care who probably don't fall in this category!

I like to think about people's motivations too. I wonder if this denial is due to a real true fear of "validating" that person's judgment as valid, if they admit to even having a modicum of an immediate internal reaction at all.

Idiots and prats, yes. What do you call nasty people whom you don't respect or like? (Probably Master...)

I don't care when an idiot or prat sneers at me. They're an idiot and a prat. Why would I? I'd be worried if they approved of me.

But like I said, what I do care about is you and the other person whose name I can't remember trying to drag everyone else down with you. Trying to make yourself feel better about the fact that you can't master yourself on this issue by claiming nobody else can either. Accusing people of lying when they prove you wrong. Discouraging others who would like to find a way to overcome it, to make them fail like you.

In short, deciding that you can't overcome this situation and therefore nobody else can either. To the point of using ridiculous pretzel logic about why I'd call a prat a prat.

I think any lurkers should take heed: this is honestly what caring about what these prats think does to you. It just puts you more and more in thrall to what others think until you can't stand the idea that anyone else might not share your mess.

@ReneBumsWombats wow! I've literally only encountered the rude behaviour OP describes a few times in my life, and I can't say it's ever consumed me, no. I don't really give it headspace after the fact, and in fact I often feel genuine sympathy.

Wouldn't most people like to make real friends and connections, instead of clinging on to rude superficial behaviour to assure themselves of their place in this world?

So no, I don't think they're idiots, prats, etc, just pitiful. Perhaps calling them names is to use the same kind of condescension they used on you, as a defensive "reverse attack" to make yourself feel better. I've certainly never been so hard-hit as to view it as having to "master myself on this issue", which again is very telling language!

I most definitely wouldn't react to the level OP did, no. But I also sympathise with anyone on the receiving end of rude behaviour.

I think a mass pile-on on her – with repeated reiterations of just how little one cares – for reacting badly to rude behaviour is very harsh. There could be some underlying emotions or fears underneath all that censure. That's just my personal opinion, anyway.

I haven't insulted anyone for being upset by getting a stink eye from a twat. I've just said that I don't care when it happens to me. And I don't.This has offended you deeply, and you've accused me several times of lying about it. I admit that's a bit annoying. Not because it stops it being true, but because it reiterates the idea that it's not possible for a woman to be self-possessed enough not to give a shit about it. I guess I can see why you'd care when a twat glares at you. Some people do. The real question is, why do you also care so much that some others wouldn't?

You keep mentioning "lying", but I never said that – it's such a childish accusation. I just casually observed that it's ironic to keep going out of your way to state how little you care. People's brains work in funny ways.

It wasn't specifically directed at you either – as I wrote above, this was a comment on the majority of MNers piling on OP.

Again, I do know plenty of men/women who genuinely don't care - not in the angry sense of "they're just prats and I shan't be dragged down to their level, I have to master myself", but genuinely in the sense of not giving a millisecond of a flying shit (e.g. "I didn't even notice that happen?").

I just really don't think those people would bother to repeatedly double down on it and get into arguments about it on a silly Internet forum. Let's end this here shall we?

Please keep your rants consistent. They're changing constantly.

I don't care when someone whose opinion I don't value throws me a stink eye. Perhaps I would if they shouted at me or something. A look? I just pretend I didn't notice it. I don't care.

And I'm pretty sure most other women can learn to do the same. But they'd need to channel their energy into that. Not into accusing anyone who's already there of lying about it. Which is exactly what you're doing by insisting I care when I say I don't.

But I guess we know which is easier.

If you want to end this here, you can do it by not responding. Do you care about me getting the last word?

Do you two want a room @ReneBumsWombats @ricepuddin ?

I don't care.

🤣

Only at the Savoy please scathing once over

😅

God, this thread got boring.