Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She has a Gucci belt, but lives with her parents

397 replies

Shallowshallowness · 24/01/2023 21:55

New mum in the mums group, seems a bit up her own bum about designer labels and clothes etc. She’s often a bit sneery and definitely does that withering looking you up and down type of thing.
Her, m her Dh and kids, live with her parents in a big house, she dives their spare Land-rover car and they pay her dc’s school fees.
Aibu to think she’s got a bit of a nerve to act high and mighty when none of it is her money and the rest of us earn money to pay our own mortgages, bills and cars and therefore maybe don’t own a Gucci belt 🙈😅

OP posts:
Florissant · 25/01/2023 08:29

NewBootsAndRanty · 24/01/2023 22:00

I only ever judge people by the belts they do or dont have - I thought everyone did?

Only when they have the wrong kind of belt. Then I'm Judgy McJudgeface.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 25/01/2023 08:29

WigglyGlowWorm · 25/01/2023 08:18

For all you know, she and her Gucci belt may feel just as insecure about the fact that they have to live with her parents 🤷‍♀️ I mean, it’s a bit pathetic when you’re grown up isn’t it?

Why pathetic?

Theemptychair23 · 25/01/2023 08:30

This is exactly why I hated being the "new mum" in a "mum's group".

Justmeandthedog1 · 25/01/2023 08:32

I don’t own a belt, not one of any type.
Does than mean I don’t get judged?
Or am I judged on not ever wearing a belt? ( my jeans don’t fall down, honest)
Or is there a hierarchy of judging going from belts to whatever’s next ?

Florissant · 25/01/2023 08:33

NewBootsAndRanty · 25/01/2023 00:00

To be honest, I did have a bit of a problem in the beginning with my trousers falling down, but then I became a bigger person.

Show quote history

You win the thread! I love your comment.

purpleboy · 25/01/2023 08:33

I hope I don't know you op. As far as I know all the mums I know don't look down on me for my personal situation.

I live in a huge house with my parents, I often used to drive my dads car, my dc are at private school and I have a few Gucci belts.

The reality is, my family business had to be sold due to a family tragedy, my house was built attached to my parents house which I paid for in full because of said family traded i needed to provide care, my dads car (when he was allowed to drive) was a 7 seater Range Rover so was great for ferrying multiple kids around or larger items, but I also had my own car which was a lot more expensive than my dads that I barely drove. The Gucci belts? Well what can I say I liked them.

So ultimately I have paid for everything I've got.
If she is really sneering at you then she just isn't a nice person, but it sounds like it could be your own jealousy projecting?

5128gap · 25/01/2023 08:34

WigglyGlowWorm · 25/01/2023 08:18

For all you know, she and her Gucci belt may feel just as insecure about the fact that they have to live with her parents 🤷‍♀️ I mean, it’s a bit pathetic when you’re grown up isn’t it?

I'm not sure what's 'pathetic' about a living model that can bring numerous advantages to the family including:
Additional disposable income
Ability to live in a larger house is a better area
Easy access to childcare
Companionship
Support for the older generation...to name but a few.
For many people it's a sensible, functional and enjoyable way to live. There's no evidence whatsoever that the nuclear family model is superior.

Wdib78 · 25/01/2023 08:37

Just ignore her if it gets to you. Fwiw most people I see local to me with "designer" gear are actually wearing fakes. None of it interests me. Give me Fatface any day ( in the sale obviously) 🤣

purpleboy · 25/01/2023 08:38

WigglyGlowWorm · 25/01/2023 08:18

For all you know, she and her Gucci belt may feel just as insecure about the fact that they have to live with her parents 🤷‍♀️ I mean, it’s a bit pathetic when you’re grown up isn’t it?

I think your comment is incredibly rude.

I love living with my parents, they have such a close bond with my children. I've managed to support both parents through significant difficulties, that may even have resulted in one of them dying had I not been there. So no I don't think it's pathetic.

ReneBumsWombats · 25/01/2023 08:40

Shallowshallowness · 25/01/2023 08:15

It’s not even one of the slightly thicker Gucci belts…it’s the very skinny one…🤣

You are very easily amused.

Cormakorma · 25/01/2023 08:40

Where I live there's a lot of different people with different levels of wealth (it's one of those weird city places where millionaires live a couple of streets from people in social housing barely getting buy.) What I've found is everyone has battles - they're just different battles. I can have a bit of reverse snobbery going on (due to w/c background) but there's a couple of women I've got to know who have all the trappings of wealth, but they're still women who worry about their kids (SEN etc) and are often treated like shit by the men in their lives. On the whole I've concluded that they may look very different to me (I do have labels sometimes, they're all from charity shops) but they're not really different once you get to know them. And judging someone for living with extended family is a very low blow in any circumstances.

LaLuz7 · 25/01/2023 08:41

purpleboy · 25/01/2023 08:38

I think your comment is incredibly rude.

I love living with my parents, they have such a close bond with my children. I've managed to support both parents through significant difficulties, that may even have resulted in one of them dying had I not been there. So no I don't think it's pathetic.

Show quote history

Choosing to live with your parents in one thing. It can be incredibly beneficial and smart.

Having to live with your parents because you cannot be self-sufficient and failed at adulting and/or are simply lazy is an entirely different thing. And pathetic indeed. This is what the poster was referring to...

ReneBumsWombats · 25/01/2023 08:44

LaLuz7 · 25/01/2023 08:41

Choosing to live with your parents in one thing. It can be incredibly beneficial and smart.

Having to live with your parents because you cannot be self-sufficient and failed at adulting and/or are simply lazy is an entirely different thing. And pathetic indeed. This is what the poster was referring to...

Show quote history

Ah, yes, of course, of course.

And naturally, it's always immediately obvious which situation a person is in, which is why so many people know all this about the woman in the OP.

BunchHarman · 25/01/2023 08:45

LaLuz7 · 25/01/2023 08:41

Choosing to live with your parents in one thing. It can be incredibly beneficial and smart.

Having to live with your parents because you cannot be self-sufficient and failed at adulting and/or are simply lazy is an entirely different thing. And pathetic indeed. This is what the poster was referring to...

Show quote history

But the OP has no idea what this woman’s situation is, only her own bitchy speculation.

ReneBumsWombats · 25/01/2023 08:46

As a side point, it's interesting that a Gucci belt seems, on balance, to be more acceptable than a Louis Vuitton handbag.

LadyKenya · 25/01/2023 08:48

A Gucci belt you say, how gauche!

5YearsLeft · 25/01/2023 08:51

@ChungusBoi
She has a Gucci belt, but lives with her parents.
I have Chanel braces, but live on a boat.
We were together for all of July.
But when summer ended, we couldn’t float.

DesperateIKnow · 25/01/2023 09:03

LaLuz7 · 25/01/2023 08:16

Exactly. The double standards hit again.

OP walker right into it...

Show quote history

Judging someone for being nasty isn’t the same as judging someone for your own paranoia about clothes.

MojoDaysxx · 25/01/2023 09:07

What has her life got to do with you? A big zero.
You have no idea what her life is like until you want in her shoes.

TattoedLady · 25/01/2023 09:10

Are you the self-appointed leader of the school mum clique who's feeling put out by the new mum on the scene???

In which case I'd give you a withering look too.

ReneBumsWombats · 25/01/2023 09:11

MojoDaysxx · 25/01/2023 09:07

What has her life got to do with you? A big zero.
You have no idea what her life is like until you want in her shoes.

They'll be Louboutins!

Thundercats77 · 25/01/2023 09:12

Can you not engage with her? My former neighbour would give the look and also brag about her designer buys and how much it would cost. It never made me feel shit as designer stuff is not my thing. She would do it more for a reaction to exclaim at the price tag. I would just say if your into that sort of thing and it makes you happy, you earn that money so yes buy what you want.

dudsville · 25/01/2023 09:14

Shift your sights! It's ok that you don't value snobbery or labels, I don't either, but she does and she's living her best life. You live yours.

NeedToChangeName · 25/01/2023 09:14

I never understand the "designer" concept anyway

Everything is designed by someone