She has a Gucci belt, but lives with her parents

[Shallowshallowness]

New mum in the mums group, seems a bit up her own bum about designer labels and clothes etc. She’s often a bit sneery and definitely does that withering looking you up and down type of thing.
Her, m her Dh and kids, live with her parents in a big house, she dives their spare Land-rover car and they pay her dc’s school fees.
Aibu to think she’s got a bit of a nerve to act high and mighty when none of it is her money and the rest of us earn money to pay our own mortgages, bills and cars and therefore maybe don’t own a Gucci belt 🙈😅

Again, whats the issue? Am i not allowed to choose who i am friends with. Do i run it past you in future or the whole of MN?

Personally i dont like 4x4 vehicles so that would cloud my judgement from the off. I dont really have much else to go on other than the OP judgement but I was really just trying to show the OP that just ignoring is the best thing to do rather than getting worked up about it. A bit like i would say to you and your issue with who i like as friends

But you have no idea if that is what the woman was thinking!! One of the 'patterns of negative thinking' that counsellors go on about, is 'mind reading' .

The woman hasn't actually said anything unpleasant to OP.

All we have is OPs accusations of 'thought crimes' by this woman.

Have you really never been in a situation where someone completely misunderstood your motivations? I sure have had people jump to completely the wrong conclusions about what I was thinking. Its pretty common!

I had a teacher who used to wear this belt every single day. Looked bloody ridiculous.

We lived with the in laws for a while. It's culturally the norm and has huge benefits for all. Had a massive disposable income for those years. Totally would have got myself a Gucci belt.

Not acted like a wanker though. I do feel it's none of your business to pass judgement on whether it's her money or not. We were paying half of all bills, you have no idea if she is or not.

You seem overly invested. You don't get to gatekeep. Just ignore her if she's not your cup of tea.

So basically you invented all this stuff about the woman in the OP (she's a Wendy!), just so that you could link to completely different story of something completely different allegedly happening to completely different person by a completely different person.

Is she blonde and called Zara? Husband used to play rugby?

But it’s not daft if they want it? It’s only daft if people can’t afford it. People are going off on this thread
like it’s a ridiculous amount. Real leather is usually not cheap.
If somebodies disposable income is 5k a month, £300 on leather goods is hardly breaking the bank. My mum has only ever worn her expensive leather gloves. She can afford them. It’s not daft at all.

Just back from lunch in a nice local bistro and there was a table of women in their forties with Gucci belts, LV bags, Land Rovers parked outside. Immaculate nails. Huge lips. Their faces didn't move as they talked to each other.

I have no idea what they get out of spending money on any of that but it isn't my business really is it? I was in with DH just having a little treat as we usually have a toastie at home, or he's out and I have a bag of Wotsits and a yoghurt. Our household income probably isn't vastly dissimilar from theirs, we just have different priorities. I'd filled in my eyebrow holes and chucked a tiny bit of mascara on. Felt a complete letdown in comparison!

I’m wadded, and the scruffiest fucker going.

Enough people to make them profitable and recognisable.

Swear I'm not a snob, but Gucci / branded belts are pretty affordable. I know plenty of people who might cut down on their other expenses to afford a few hundred quid for a belt. Belts and SLGs (small leather goods) in general from luxury brands are "mass market" items.

Realistically, she's probably not that well-off, which might explain why she's so strangely insecure and sneery. I promise I'm not saying this just to put her down. I'm in a similar situation as her – my parents have actually been very generous with us in terms of big ticket items like shared big expensive house, kids' education, shared luxury car... But they don't have enough to give us high actual monthly disposable income (e.g. from trust fund) which would enable us to live a truly independent lux life of our own like some others do.

I never invented anything about the woman from the Op’s thread. I commented because I have met women who give you the up and down look before and they usually do this before they start to isolate someone from the group

I was also answering someone’s post about them sticking to state schools because it came across as though no school mum who sends their child to state school would be so bothered about how someone dresses or in my friends case what car she drove

I truly feel a lot of people in this thread are lucky in that they haven't met the kind of woman who gives you obviously scornful once-overs. I have, confirmed by others in the group. Of course it could be imagined as well, sometimes we can all be a bit oversensitive. But this sort of behaviour definitely exists

I have. I just don't care.

Her parents give her the money, so it’s her money! What’s the big deal about earning, you’d happily take if someone gave you! Sour grapes isn’t it!?

You sound bloody horrid

This type of woman, the type who looks you up and down with that sneery look.

No I don’t know her personally but I know her type. I also know she will follow a certain script in the same vain as a narcissist or a type of abuser follows a certain script.
Or are you saying that the dhs/bf’s who out of the blue accuse their wives/gfs who post on here about the accusations of cheating we shouldn’t say it is a deflection and he is most likely the cheat as we don’t know him personally.

Yet you care enough to make repeated comments asserting that you don't care? If you truly didn't care, you wouldn't be quite so adamant about it.

I do care – I find scornful once-over type behaviour a turnoff, but I don't give it much headspace after the fact. I generally think it's a product of insecurity.

There are definitely people who do this. I can’t stand it. Even if they don’t realise they do it, it’s so rude.

Do you have a gucci belt 😂

It's a shame, for you, that you care. I don't.

As you've taken pains to insist multiple times 🤣🤣🤣 truly the height of indifference. I actually had a good hearty chuckle!

🤣 Bit like a primary school game isn't it? Caring soooo little about something that you come back multiple times to insist it doesn't bother you.

Despite what MNers on this thread claim ("I don't care so I win! You're a loser for caring!" sticks tongue out), I think most humans would be mildly affronted by repeated and obvious withering once-overs? It's only natural.

Wouldn't stew about it for sure, as I try to be deliberate with my headspace. But especially after repeated incidences, on the spot might think "wow, who are you to judge me?", and also wonder what specific insecurity prompted that behaviour of theirs.