To not want other people using our caravan?

[Serialcatmum]

Ok, by other people I mean my sister in law.

We recently purchased a caravan, we were going to go for a smaller one but decided to treat ourselves to a bigger one to give us more space. When I told SIL she said “oh I had my fingers crossed you’d go for the bigger one as then we can maybe use it some weekends too?!” It was sort of a question, sort of a statement. I laughed and said “oh we’ve not even planned our first trip yet”. She just said “ha ha. I don’t mean next weekend, I mean in the summer”. I laughed and changed the topic.

Since then DBIL has messaged my DH saying that SIL mentioned we might we able to borrow the caravan sometime.. (DH didn’t reply)

They don’t even have a towing vehicle. So are they planning on taking our car too?! Or are we expected to drive to their holiday place of choice and set up / collect for them?!

ANBH - they should get their own caravan and stop being cheeky fs.

ABU- they are family, of course you should let them take your caravan (and car) for a jolly.

I think caravans are much harder to borrow as they need skills to operate, tow safely, park, load and empty the loos etc.

Itwould be a no from me

I’ve voted YABU for making this a thing - just say no, it’s not available for hire to anyone. Nip this in the bud fast!

@Serialcatmum

I was gonna say YABU and a tad mean, but then saw it's a TOWING caravan. I thought it was static. No fucking way would I lend my CARAVAN to someone else, nope, not even family. If it was a static one then fine. But not a towing one.

My cousin and her husband got a static one in 2018, (it's in North Wales,) and pretty much always refused to let anyone use it except her and her husband, their 3 adult children and their 9 kids between them, and her mother (my aunt.) Lots of people asked if they could have a few days in it, and offered to pay. No. 'It's for my family.....' she said firmly.

Fast forward to covid/2021/2022, and money is a lot more tight, and she has been desperately trying to rent it out. Everyone I know - including me - can't be arsed now. You reap what you sow and all that.........

Re your SIL asking to borrow it, just throw your head back and laugh! And then say 'oh my God you're serious!' With a shocked face. Then smile and say 'no, sorry, there's no way we are lending it to anyone.' Don't piss about and umm and ahh. Just say no....... NO!

No because of the whole issue of it having to be towed. They will need a proper tow bar and a car which can tow it. I don't know what the insurance implications are but there must be some.
Those things are not easy to park, drive, reverse etc. They could easily have an accident and trash it completely.
Then there's the whole issue of whether it would be looked after internally or come back with things broken or misplaced, mess, not cleaned properly.

I think if it were a static caravan that would be different and you could perhaps say they could use it for a week in the summer but this one, no way.

"we are not lending it out as we don't want to be tied down or to block any specific dates. The whole point of getting the bigger caravan is that we can make into a home from home, which we won't want lending out."

Don't say that! It's as clear as mud and makes it sound like if the date is right you
might. Just say, no we're not lending it out to anyone.

I think it's because it's a tourer. We had a tourer for two years and never loaned it out. Issues around towing experience (it's very dangerous), instance, easily damaged etc. we then swapped to a static and we let family use it but family only (had friends ask but said don't let it out') and we sold that last year and bought a holiday home. We still let close family use it at no charge but don't allow friends. It's such a pain though to take all our stuff home as we go pretty much every weekend. We have to stop the beds (when they're not necessarily ready to be washed) and clean it extra knowing others coming to stay. I always do this for family but that's it.

I can totally understand why the OP wouldn't allow anyone to use a tourer.

I'd say - you can borrow it when we've finished paying it off - and leave it at that

When we bought our camper, which cost us a bloody fortune and we were so excited about, I remember telling a friend…

Me: So excited! We’re finally getting a camper!
Friend: Oh wow, that’s amazing! Can we borrow it?
Me: No

Simple, to the point, no hard feelings.
Of course she can ask, but shouldn’t get the arse when you say no.
It’s yours, it’s expensive and easily damaged.

It’s your caravan with your beds, not guest beds. I wouldn’t want anyone else sleeping in my bed..

I think the no reply leaves the door open too wide.

just get your dh to reply to his db and say, “sorry I’ve thought about it and the caravan is something really special for us and brand new for us, and we are so excited about it - we want to be free to take it places at the drop of a hat and not have to worry about emptying out all our stuff. It’s quite a needy vehicle to look after and while it’s new we really want to keep it in top condition as long as we can. Plus your vehicle couldn’t tow our caravan in any event! if you get your own caravan one day, would be very up for a family touring holiday!”

Brilliant. I’d love to be as ballsy as your friend, and as confident as you !

I’d say yes to some relatives because I like them but if you don’t want to, just say no.

No, don't lend it, the morons don't even have towing capacity let alone the skills to use it.

We've had people ask if they can holiday on our boat, including people with no sailing experience or navigation skills and several small children. 😲
I could give a plethora of reasons why that is an insanely stupid idea, but I tend to just smile and say "No, we don't allow anyone else to use it sorry" and then change the subject. I've learned from experience that otherwise you get into long drawn out discussions that don't achieve anything and often lead to more ill feeling than a straight no. Leaving the door open for the future when you actually have no intention of changing your mind causes more problems than it solves too.
It's your caravan. You don't want other people to use it. Just be honest. Your relatives might be annoyed for a bit but that's better than having to come up with repeated excuses.

My parents have been lifelong caravan owners and its always a clear red line with my dad of absolutely no on letting us borrow it. I am sure letting someone else tow your caravan would be a double red line. Can they fit and manage the stabiliser? Manovere it effectively? Plot a safe route and not just follow google maps? Do they know how secure and level it etc? I am assuming this is where they expect you to come in. You'll be called every five mins, when they can't get the fridge working, shower etc. Oh I guess you'll do the awning too.

Caravans are not cheap. They break easily. They will probably lose some of your kit and won't clean it properly.

Maybe in a few years when you are less protective. I wouldn't tell them this though!

Say what my dad says....They can only come if I sleep in a tent next to the caravan!

@Calphurnia88 We did say no, but it rather put us on the spot. This was shortly after we had bought the holiday home and before it was commercially let, it was all new and nice - is one thing for good friends to use but no way friends of friends and their friends!! We just said, we were comfortable for you to use (our good friends) but hope they could understand that we don't want the property occupied by a group of people we have never met.

Even then, we found a few things broken - stuff put in the dishwasher that shouldn't have been, utensils melted on stove etc.. When we put it up for commercial let we quickly learnt not to put anything of value in there - just purely functional/easily replaceable stuff.

You see a different side to some people when you have something like this.

It would be a NO from me! Any update OP?

They can have a caravan holiday by renting a caravan. Your caravan is only for your family. They don’t know how to tow or manoeuvre it. They’d need insurance. The rental option is best for them.

A caravan is a tiny bedroom come sittingroom come kitchen. I certainly wouldn’t let SIL with kids camp out in my bedroom particularly when all my stuff is in there.
explain a caravan is not like a holiday cottage. It’s more like your personal bedroom and bathroom on wheels. You will be keeping all the things you need for a quick getaway in there including clothes, underwear, bedding, towels and there won’t be room for them to put their things anywhere. And you don’t want your BIL or kids going through your knicker drawer.

Or for that matter putting things away in wrong places- if you do that in a caravan , once it starts moving things can get broken.

I think the insurance will also be affected - just like if they asked to use your car for a holiday.

Hi All,

Sorry about the radio silence! I had an early shift.

no drama here.. DH responded saying that he’s not ready to share his new toy and that he didn’t think his DB would be brave enough to reverse a 2ton caravan, especially with his tiny car (cue some snippy comment from DH that only he is able to drive a proper lorry (he is a lorry driver!!).

DB just replied with a thumbs up.

hopefully that’s the end of it!

This is partly why I'm not buying a holiday home. There's no way in hell I'd be letting my in-laws use it.

Excellent response@Serialcatmum .

No no no no no!
Our tourer is 23 years old but I wouldn't lend it to anyone!
My caravan, for my holidays, no one else's!

I bought a minibus for my job several years ago. My SIL was organising a night out with her sisters and partners before I'd even got it home!
It was a No from me...

Not being unreasonable. Caravans very quickly start to smell. You don’t want other people’s smells in there.