To not want other people using our caravan?

[Serialcatmum]

Ok, by other people I mean my sister in law.

We recently purchased a caravan, we were going to go for a smaller one but decided to treat ourselves to a bigger one to give us more space. When I told SIL she said “oh I had my fingers crossed you’d go for the bigger one as then we can maybe use it some weekends too?!” It was sort of a question, sort of a statement. I laughed and said “oh we’ve not even planned our first trip yet”. She just said “ha ha. I don’t mean next weekend, I mean in the summer”. I laughed and changed the topic.

Since then DBIL has messaged my DH saying that SIL mentioned we might we able to borrow the caravan sometime.. (DH didn’t reply)

They don’t even have a towing vehicle. So are they planning on taking our car too?! Or are we expected to drive to their holiday place of choice and set up / collect for them?!

ANBH - they should get their own caravan and stop being cheeky fs.

ABU- they are family, of course you should let them take your caravan (and car) for a jolly.

Bollocks ... they can get their own caravan can't they ...

Not a hope they'd be using my caravan. We've gone on trips with friends who have camped nearby & the anxiety it gives me when others are using the caravan! My own kids are bad enough when we're there to rein them in. To think of another family doing the same without me being able to jump on certain things fills me with the fear! I know this is a really bad attitude but caravans are so easily breakable inside!

Could you say the insurance wouldn't cover them? You only took it out to cover your family.

We have a caravan and I wouldn’t let anyone else use it, it’s on a site but it’s my haven and as other people have said, it’s full of all my stuff. She’s rude to assume that because you got the bigger one so could use it, caravans are quite fragile really and I wouldn’t want anyone else towing, setting up and staying in mine. You definitely ANBU

Absolutely not.

YANBU. We have a caravan and it takes loads of work maintaining it plus you have to be careful with the electrics, gas line, waste water connections etc. The awning has to be put up and inflated the right way. If someone didn’t look after it or tow it properly they could easily do some expensive damage.

We’d never lend it out to anyone.

We don't plan to lend it out.

End of discussion

I suppose it depends on your relationship. I don't really have any wider family but if I had a brother and a sister in law that I got on with, I wouldn't mind them using the caravan for maybe one week a year. I would be a bit miffed though if it was just assumed that they would have access to the caravan - I think it was an unwise move on her part because it would be guaranteed to get anybody's back up.

When we had our static we were more than happy to let nearest and dearest family stay but no one abused it and was just occasionally and I was happy my Dad loved it. He then bought one which I've used a lot, pitched on one site, loved us all using it. I do believe share and share alike to let a few enjoy it personally. X

I think I'd probably lend a static van to trusted family/friends, but never a towing one. Recipe for disaster.

I've got a holiday home on the beach, and have had many cf friends 'drop in', ask to use it etc. I fell for it a few times, and found I'd have people visiting and staying every time I was there, or expecting to get free use of it. I tell no one when I'm going now, don't post anything on social media, and make sure I gave the answer 'no' ready. If I want someone there I'll invite them, that's different, but I won't be taken advantage of any more. Sadly, once you've given something once, expectations are heightened, and in fact you're then the bad guy. Don't start something you're not happy with - you'll be sorry later!

Tow bars need to be sufficent for the size of caravan, if they are going to get a car to tow your cravan they will need right powered car and insurance along with a caravan mover if they need to get it into correct position after un hitching. Plenty of reasons to say NO.

I wouldn't let anyone borrow a caravan if they hadn't been on a caravan towing course www.caravanclub.co.uk/advice-and-training/training-courses/caravan-towing-courses/

(Ex insurance underwriter, have seen many horrific accidents/claims)

Even before the 2021 rule change you could still tow without taking an additional test as long as the MAM was below 3500kg. Many car/caravan outfits would be below this anyway.

No, you are not! I gave up lending anything to people years ago (over 30) after a number of borrowed tools were returned in "none working order" and needed replacement. These included a multi voltage (6V, 12V and 24V), slow, medium and fast charge battery charger; a valve spring compressor and a dual barrel foot pump. Not one of them told me they were broken or ever offered to pay for a replacement. Also I lent someone my car and it came back "empty". When I pointed this out he said he would give me a tenner and I pointed out three times that would be more appropriate. I never got the money as he was caught drug dealing and got sent down. He did not come back to the area as his wife divorced him whilst he was in prison. One of life's scumbags!

You own it dso you have the absilte right to say who can and cannot use igt!

I am sure it's been said - but you could go down the route of 'we are planning to use it at weekends and as much as we can through the holidays, sorry.'

Easy!

When's her birthday? You could buy her a tent.

Caravans are pretty fragile in terms of furnishings - they show wear and tear very quickly. Worth bearing in mind, cos they're not cheap in the first place, and it isn't always easy to fix the damage or replace stuff.

“oh I had my fingers crossed you’d go for the bigger one as then we can maybe use it some weekends too?!”

Bloodyhell she's a cheeky fucker isn't she?? This wasn't just a jokey statement of course - she was hoping you'd say yes and also pay for that bigger caravan. Can't stand people like that.

‘they would trash it’ don’t be ridiculous 🙄

No don't do it.
We lent our brand new caravan out to close family and their children broke the fly blinds and big sun blind at the front. Also one threw up in it.

It just didn't feel new ever again.

If it was a static I would find it difficult to make excuses as long as they left it clean and tidy. However the risk of towing a caravan is quite high if you don't know what you are doing (I've seen 2 very bad caravan accidents) and that would make me much more likely to say no.

Check the OP's update.

It’s not just a case of whether their car is big enough to tow the caravan. They also need a tow hook which needs to be fitted correctly and connected up to the electrics in their car - just point this out to them.

Point out to SIL that towing a caravan requires certain techniques as does parking one. Caravans should be loaded correctly, the towing vehicle should be heavier than the van.
Tell her that she needs to understand the electrics, the water, including the waste and the pump. They need to know how to erect the awning if there is one. She also needs to know how to clean it, the contents and the awning, after the weekend away. Explain that you are still learning how to master these skills and there is no way you are lending the van to any newbie.
A caravan is not like a flat that you can lock up and leave. Caravaners need to know how to use them safely. Once you have been away a few times and you have learned what might go wrong, there is no way you will lend it to anybody!
Enjoy your new van, it will give you endless fabulous holidays!