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Original poster

How can she be left like this? Take her back to A&E?

703 replies

Fearsheisdying · 23/01/2023 17:51

Posting for traffic has honestly I'm terrified something is seriously wrong with my Mum and don't know what to do so please be nice.

Last week she started with some pain that she says feels like it's right at the very bottom of her ribs and radiating round the sides. She was in agony, basically screaming with pain so I took her to A&E on the advice of 111. All obs and ECG were normal but the blood tests were abnormal. They were going to do a CT scan but then decided as her obs were ok and they didn't think there was a bleed as no fall/injury, they were not going to do a CT scan there but would refer it to the GP to arrange BUT because of the blood test results and recent weightloss, they wanted it done urgently under the "2 week rule" and from his grave tone, I highly suspect he thinks it's cancer and serious. They couldn't/wouldn't give her anymore painkillers because of the painkillers she's on for severe arthritis but these are not touching the pain.

Fast forward to today, she has been in absolute agony since Thursday and seems worse today and can barely move. She's exhausted and crying/screaming in pain. My sister called 999 today but they said as not life threatening they won't send an ambulance but had to speak to GP within an hour. GP receptionist tried to say no appointments so we couldn't speak to GP but after I explained the issue (and she could hear my Mum crying out in pain) she finally agreed to pass a message to the GP so currently waiting to see if GP will call back today or not. Mum says if I take her back to A&E we'll be sat for hours again and nothing will be done but I can't just sit here and watch her in so much pain and do nothing.

What do I do?! Do I make her let me take her to A&E? Do we wait to see if the GP will call? Just feel so helpless

OP posts:
Patineur · 06/02/2023 15:45

OneTC · 06/02/2023 15:08

When my mum had a blockage/diverticulitis they said they wouldn't operate given her age and health.

Show quote history

I was told the same for my mother, who was in her 80s at the relevant time. Following my father's death and a previous stroke she didn't really want to be alive anyway, so it wasn't a difficult decision to go along with the medical advice.

EwwSprouts · 06/02/2023 15:58

OP has said her mum is 62. They will keep trying with options.

Princesspollyyy · 06/02/2023 16:15

@Bluekerfuffle

Yes they have, they know what the cause of the pain is, it's a blockage in the bowel. The opening thread they didn't have a clue what was wrong.

LookItsMeAgain · 06/02/2023 17:43

@Princesspollyyy - thanks for your very condescending response to my post offering sympathy and support to the OP.

Unless I've missed the post from the OP (and I have read every post, including yours) they haven't found a reason for the blockage so they are still working on the symptoms and the blockage.

They still have to get a clear colonoscopy and/or endoscopy so they don't know if it's something that will recur or not. They are managing the OP's mum's pain.

But thanks for your helpful comment.

geonosis · 06/02/2023 17:54

Does your hospital have an Urgent Care Centre? Usually beside A & E. I discovered this week that if you turn up there and say 111 said to come it’s way faster than A & E! It’s like a fast track to treatment and pain relief. Only happened by accident as after actually phoning 111 with a medical complaint they said go to the hospital GP service which I couldn’t find so ended up at this area - but they took all my relatives details and we were seen straightaway by a paramedic then a doctor, whisked off for cat scan, after initial pain killers, put on a drip, met a neurologist, given stronger pain relief and a diagnosis with referral for further treatment. I was amazed. Maybe the symptoms meant my relative was prioritised - they were in extreme pain. Worth a go. We did meet some poor person who was saying they were sat for ten hours in a chair waiting for a dr also so I really don’t know how the system works!

bloodywhitecat · 06/02/2023 18:15

@geonosis I think you need to read at least the OP's updates. Her mum is in hospital now and has been for a while.

MrNook · 06/02/2023 18:37

geonosis · 06/02/2023 17:54

Does your hospital have an Urgent Care Centre? Usually beside A & E. I discovered this week that if you turn up there and say 111 said to come it’s way faster than A & E! It’s like a fast track to treatment and pain relief. Only happened by accident as after actually phoning 111 with a medical complaint they said go to the hospital GP service which I couldn’t find so ended up at this area - but they took all my relatives details and we were seen straightaway by a paramedic then a doctor, whisked off for cat scan, after initial pain killers, put on a drip, met a neurologist, given stronger pain relief and a diagnosis with referral for further treatment. I was amazed. Maybe the symptoms meant my relative was prioritised - they were in extreme pain. Worth a go. We did meet some poor person who was saying they were sat for ten hours in a chair waiting for a dr also so I really don’t know how the system works!

RTFT

Original poster
Fearsheisdying · 06/02/2023 20:52

Princesspollyyy · 06/02/2023 16:15

@Bluekerfuffle

Yes they have, they know what the cause of the pain is, it's a blockage in the bowel. The opening thread they didn't have a clue what was wrong.

They haven't been able to confirm if the blocked bowel is what is causing the pain. There is a lump/mass/shadow on the CT scan that is not faecal blockage so they need to do another colonoscopy to check if it's a benign growth or if it's cancer.

Sadly no colonoscopy today and not likely tomorrow either. The pain is still at bay though which is a blessing but the waiting is torture! I honestly wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!

OP posts:
moggiek · 06/02/2023 21:13

It is. How is she bearing up?

Original poster
Fearsheisdying · 06/02/2023 21:24

moggiek · 06/02/2023 21:13

It is. How is she bearing up?

She's holding up ok but I think she's itching to go home now. She can't leave the ward (I think it's like some kind of high dependancy ward) so is getting cabin fever. Also she's not sleeping that well. I know she won't discharge herself though, until there are answers and a plan. My Mum's the practical sort so even if it's the worst outcome and it's cancer, she'll be able to deal with it so long as they tell her straight and don't sugar coat. I'll see if they'll let me take her for a walk around the hospital garden tomorrow for some fresh air, that might help?

OP posts:
NicolaSturgeonsSOGIbottom · 06/02/2023 21:40

I like the sound of your chatty, practical, tell-it-to-me-straight mum.

She’s got lots of Mumsnetters rooting for her.

CharlotteRose90 · 06/02/2023 21:42

Aww bless her. I was thinking about your mum earlier as I’m currently doing the Bowel prep for my colonoscopy tomorrow. I know what it’s like to get restless in hospital. As long as she’s in a wheelchair they should let you take her for fresh air. Hopefully you get the answers you need soon. I can never sleep or eat properly in a hospital.

Original poster
Fearsheisdying · 06/02/2023 21:57

@NicolaSturgeonsSOGIbottom she's a good one 😁

@CharlotteRose90 good luck for tomorrow, hope all goes well x

OP posts:
LuluBlakey1 · 07/02/2023 00:05

I'm so sorry you still have no answer and are all waiting with this horrible feeling with you all the time. It's scary and a huge cause of stress. Hope your mum gets the colonoscopy asap and you have answers and a plan.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 07/02/2023 08:07

Thinking of your poor Mum and you too, hope you get answers soon and it's something of nothing
Flowers

moggiek · 07/02/2023 18:24

How is she today? Did you manage to get her out for a wee while?

Original poster
Fearsheisdying · 08/02/2023 07:53

Morning all! She seemed to be in a bit more pain yesterday but I don't know if that's because she'd been waiting a while for her painkillers when I got there yesterday morning.
I did indeed manage to take her out! They said as she's not attached to drips or oxygen at the moment and as long as she's in a wheelchair, we can take her out for 15 mins.
No news on colonoscopy but they did another CT scan yesterday so hopefully results later today 🤞

OP posts:
Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 08/02/2023 08:40

Thanks for update OP. Thinking of you all and sending healing thoughts and hope

moggiek · 08/02/2023 08:42

Fingers crossed. It’s the waiting and the not knowing that’s so difficult.
Will be thinking of you both.

CrunchyCarrot · 08/02/2023 09:03

Oh gosh OP, I can't imagine how difficult this is for both of you to endure. Sending hugs.

Cakeyface123 · 08/02/2023 09:05

So many of us are thinking of you and your mum and hoping for good news xx stay strong OP

Badger1970 · 08/02/2023 09:24

Being in hospital is miserable, and it's so hard to sleep/rest with the constant noise levels. And it's equally exhausting being the cheerleader at the bedside trying to keep spirits up. It took around 5 days for my Dad to get a diagnosis from admission and he was on 4 different wards in that time, so it's good that your Mum is in one place at least.

Hoping you get some answers soon Flowers

Sugarfree23 · 08/02/2023 13:39

Hospitals can give you cabin fever.
I spent a couple of sleepless nights in the kids ward with LO. When we got home all I wanted to do was chill on the couch. LO was crying 'buuuuggggy, buuuuuggggyyy' the one and only time either of my kids have cried to get in the buggy, yes I did drag my bum back of the couch to take him for a walk in the buggy.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 08/02/2023 14:03

Still thinking of you both
I'm glad you were able to take her out for some respite from the same four walls
I hope the results bring some answers and a treatment plan is put together
Being in limbo is the hardest place to be IMO

Anycrispsleft · 08/02/2023 17:57

Keeping my fingers crossed for you both OP.