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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can she be left like this? Take her back to A&E?

703 replies

Fearsheisdying · 23/01/2023 17:51

Posting for traffic has honestly I'm terrified something is seriously wrong with my Mum and don't know what to do so please be nice.

Last week she started with some pain that she says feels like it's right at the very bottom of her ribs and radiating round the sides. She was in agony, basically screaming with pain so I took her to A&E on the advice of 111. All obs and ECG were normal but the blood tests were abnormal. They were going to do a CT scan but then decided as her obs were ok and they didn't think there was a bleed as no fall/injury, they were not going to do a CT scan there but would refer it to the GP to arrange BUT because of the blood test results and recent weightloss, they wanted it done urgently under the "2 week rule" and from his grave tone, I highly suspect he thinks it's cancer and serious. They couldn't/wouldn't give her anymore painkillers because of the painkillers she's on for severe arthritis but these are not touching the pain.

Fast forward to today, she has been in absolute agony since Thursday and seems worse today and can barely move. She's exhausted and crying/screaming in pain. My sister called 999 today but they said as not life threatening they won't send an ambulance but had to speak to GP within an hour. GP receptionist tried to say no appointments so we couldn't speak to GP but after I explained the issue (and she could hear my Mum crying out in pain) she finally agreed to pass a message to the GP so currently waiting to see if GP will call back today or not. Mum says if I take her back to A&E we'll be sat for hours again and nothing will be done but I can't just sit here and watch her in so much pain and do nothing.

What do I do?! Do I make her let me take her to A&E? Do we wait to see if the GP will call? Just feel so helpless

OP posts:
Sugarfree23 · 26/01/2023 08:28

Hopefully they can pull the scope forward. She's in the best hands.

Dymaxion · 26/01/2023 09:07

Hopefully they will be able to manage her pain better as an inpatient and she might get the colonoscopy a bit sooner.

Princesspollyyy · 26/01/2023 09:20

Sorry to hear the pain became bad again, but I'm glad she's been admitted. Thinking of you all x

Bumblebee412 · 26/01/2023 09:32

So sorry to hear this but agree with PP that she's in the best place to manage the pain. It might even be possible for them to do the colonoscopy even earlier now xx

Whiskeypowers · 26/01/2023 09:47

Sorry to hear that but she’s in the right place
hope things settle a bit today 🤞🏻

Laiste · 26/01/2023 09:49

Lovely to hear 'ambulance called and ambulance came'!

Flowers to you and your mum OP.

It must be a relief that she's been admitted to hospital properly. Nothing worse than that awful half way house when you're on their radar but 'coping at home' ... but worried sick and not really coping! 😔

Been there with my own mum. It was a very bad infection with bowel problems and by the time we got them to admit her into hospital she was so ill she nearly didn't come out! 6 WEEKS in hospital in the end. The first 4 of which was full barrier nursing because the infection had got so bad by then.

Anyway - love and strength to you. You're doing well x

Aloneonprecipice · 26/01/2023 10:21

I am so sorry you and your family are going through this nightmare. Sending all the best wishes.

Icouldabeenalawyer · 26/01/2023 11:02

So sorry OP, hopefully hospital can get her comfortable x

Wheresthebeach · 26/01/2023 11:28

Hope they've sorted the pain OP, and that they can move onto treatment quickly.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 26/01/2023 12:00

Sorry she has been in such pain, but she is in the best place for optimum pain control and they may start her colonoscopy prep sooner

SirVixofVixHall · 26/01/2023 12:17

Sorry to read that your Mum has been admitted but hopefully it will speed things up and her pain will be better managed.
She is still reasonably young, so if she does need surgery or any invasive treatment then she is in a better place to cope with it.
Wishing her all the best OP.

mrsbyers · 26/01/2023 12:49

They may be able to get her her test sooner hopefully

just wanted to add that I’ve been on ward with a lot of cancer patients I have Crohn’s and the prognosis is really quite good if it’s not spread , she may need a stoma bag for a while but it’s one of the better cancers to have as the bowel can be removed

OhBitchPeas · 26/01/2023 19:33

Oh it's a rollercoaster going on here isn't it?

your poor mum, but it's good that there's a cancellation on Monday.

Best of luck. You must all be fraught!

OldFan · 26/01/2023 19:39

Praying that she feels better soon xx

Icecreamandapplepie · 26/01/2023 21:19

Lurking and wishing your mum the very best treatment.

Hope you're doing OK too.

Fearsheisdying · 26/01/2023 21:55

@OhBitchPeas it definitely is a rollercoaster!

A small update brings the possibility that, although the Big C hasn't been ruled out, it could be a bowel obstruction which they are treating her for until further tests/scans can be done tomorrow. Her abnormal bloods could just be an unfortunate coincidence, although her tummy seems very swollen today, which it hasn't been previously.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring some clearer answers. Thank you all for keeping us in your thoughts x

OP posts:
Schnooze · 26/01/2023 23:11

That sounds more positive. Fingers crossed it is easily sorted.

piedbeauty · 26/01/2023 23:21

Big hugs, op.

LifeIsJustOneBigWTAF · 26/01/2023 23:24

I'm so sorry you've had to watch your mum suffering so much pain. Sending positive thoughts and a big hug your way 💐

cortisolqueen · 26/01/2023 23:29

So sorry OP this all sounds horrendous.

Fwiw my dad had bowel cancer. They removed the tumour (it was very large), it hadn't spread, he didn't need a colostomy bag and 18 months later is still cancer free & doing well. So please don't think a cancer diagnosis is the end, it often isn't.

Patineur · 27/01/2023 00:34

Have they done an MRI? That was how my mother's bowel obstruction was detected. A bottle of laxative did wonderful things for her.

LuluBlakey1 · 27/01/2023 00:47

I hope they can get her to the MRI quicker if she is in the hospital. Glad they are controlling the pain. Waiting for an answer is very hard on you and her.

CharlotteRose90 · 27/01/2023 02:48

Bowel obstructions are bloody painful I get them often. Have they started her on laxatives or enemas? Fingers crossed the further tests show it is just that and she can be treated and go home.

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 27/01/2023 07:30

Still thinking of you all. Mums are such precious people - usually. As pp have said, she's in the right place now... Thanks for your updates OP

Tonkatol · 27/01/2023 19:06

I have been following your post for the past few days and I just wanted to say that I wish you, your mum and all your family all the best. I hope that you have got some answers today and that, whatever the diagnosis, there is treatment available. You were absolutely right to take her back to A & E and I really hope you get some answers. Sending positive hugs xx