How can she be left like this? Take her back to A&E?

[Fearsheisdying]

Posting for traffic has honestly I'm terrified something is seriously wrong with my Mum and don't know what to do so please be nice.

Last week she started with some pain that she says feels like it's right at the very bottom of her ribs and radiating round the sides. She was in agony, basically screaming with pain so I took her to A&E on the advice of 111. All obs and ECG were normal but the blood tests were abnormal. They were going to do a CT scan but then decided as her obs were ok and they didn't think there was a bleed as no fall/injury, they were not going to do a CT scan there but would refer it to the GP to arrange BUT because of the blood test results and recent weightloss, they wanted it done urgently under the "2 week rule" and from his grave tone, I highly suspect he thinks it's cancer and serious. They couldn't/wouldn't give her anymore painkillers because of the painkillers she's on for severe arthritis but these are not touching the pain.

Fast forward to today, she has been in absolute agony since Thursday and seems worse today and can barely move. She's exhausted and crying/screaming in pain. My sister called 999 today but they said as not life threatening they won't send an ambulance but had to speak to GP within an hour. GP receptionist tried to say no appointments so we couldn't speak to GP but after I explained the issue (and she could hear my Mum crying out in pain) she finally agreed to pass a message to the GP so currently waiting to see if GP will call back today or not. Mum says if I take her back to A&E we'll be sat for hours again and nothing will be done but I can't just sit here and watch her in so much pain and do nothing.

What do I do?! Do I make her let me take her to A&E? Do we wait to see if the GP will call? Just feel so helpless

Might be worth packing yourself a small bag containing phone charger, loose change, snacks, notepad etc so if your mum gets a last minute cancellation or you need to head back to hospital quickly you know you've got the basics with you. Keeping everything crossed for your mum and remember to take care of yourself.

That's a really good idea with the bag.

I'd also suggest packing a bag for your DMum, nighty /night shirts, wash kit, Slippers, fluffy socks, book, download some music on to her phone and charger etc for her.
Or it might be worth using a cheap mp3 player and cheap phone rather than taking a £££ phone into hospital.

As someone that has had quite a few colonoscopies now, please can I give you some tips to help your mum. The bowel prep day before is the worst bit of the procedure. Drink it through a straw, with orange squash added (still tastes horrible but it's slightly better) don't use squash that is red, e.g. blackcurrant etc. Orange and lemon only. Make sure the water to mix it is really cold. Don't be tempted not to drink it all, you only want to go through bowel prep once. If they do the camera and you're not fully empty, you have to do it ALL again.

Get some vaseline, to use as a barrier cream, after multiple trips to the toilet you get sore. Reapply vaseline after each trip to the toilet. Get comfy with a boxset and stay near bathroom.

Good luck to your mum. 💐

Hi OP...been following your thread for updates! The not knowing either way is a horrible place to be but at the same time, it might not be that! And if it is, there could be loads of treatment options. You'll no doubt get an appointment letter through quite quickly and you should get some answers either on the day of the test or not long after.

Please don't absorb the comments of people who seem to think they'd have acted differently in the same circumstances. You did what you felt was best at every stage. You did good! And now it's time to get your mum comfy and then hunker down till test day. ❤️

Something else to have in the bag, Lipbam hospitals really seem to dry my lips out.

@Fearsheisdying
hope you manage a bit of sleep tonight x

Hello @Fearsheisdying. I hope you sleep well tonight. I think you have been a wonderful daughter.

I'm your mum's age and can appreciate how much she will be hating this. But she is still quite young and should be able to fight back well if it is what you are hoping it's not what you don't want to hear.

I have almost zero recollection of my colonoscopy. I had picolax which I understands tastes better than movicol. Going on the white diet a day earlier than recommended was helpful. Sudocrem, comfy pyjamas and tena pants were also worth their weight in gold.

Agree about you having an overnight bag. Wet wipes also v helpful

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family OP xx

Hope both you and DM manage some rest tonights
Sending you love and strength

For what it's worth, when I had this, once I started working I just retired to the bathroom with a good book for a couple of hours. I may have been lucky, but that seemed to clear out virtually everything, so I didn't have to keep wiping and getting sore. I was then able to go to bed and had a good night's sleep. I had to drink some more of whatever it was the next morning but it didn't have such, um, explosive results. When I had the procedure they complemented me on the success of my bowel prep. 🤢

Sorry, "once I started working" was meant to be "once it started working".

@Fearsheisdying ask that your Mum has the sedation for this procedure and she won't remember a thing. They will IV her. It will also give her a good sleep after her traumas.

Morning all! She seems to be doing ok at the moment and pain more controlled. There's been a cancellation for Monday so we won't have such a torturous long wait now. I'm so scared but trying to remain positive.

@MyNameisMathilda thank you, we will ask and see if that can be done

That’s good to hear. Thinking of you both.

That's good to hear. Monday isn't long.

that's good news @Fearsheisdying I was on the 2 week pathway and I got a cancellation within 4 days of my GP appointment - I hope that all goes well on Monday for your DM

Glad to hear she will be having it done on Monday. Not nice I know, but you will get the answers sooner
I'm glad her pain is now controlled
Try and rest too

Try not to think the worst. I'm glad she has an appointment on Monday so you have to wait less time.

I know it's different but my mam was very unwell with heart and breathing problems and I was told by a consultant she had seen something on an x-ray that she was pretty sure was an unusual lung cancer. She had to have a CT scan. It turned out to be nothing at all. It happened 3 more times over the next few years and we went through the same worry and upset each time to be told it was nothing. She was very unwell but nothing to do with lung cancer and her condition was manageable with drugs for 6 years.

Cancer is much more treatable these days- even quite advanced cancer and people can live good quality lives with continued treatment. I have a friend who has been living with Stage 4 breast cancer for 5 years- she works full-time, is never off work and has a 5 year old daughter. She lives a full life with treatment top-ups to control the cancer. I know not everyone is the same but I am just trying to say try not to think the worst and hopefully there is a best case outcome.

Thank you @LuluBlakey1 the positive stories are helping me get some perspective x

Glad her pain is finally being treated and hope Monday brings good news

So many of us are thinking of you OP x

I was on the 2 week pathway and I got a cancellation within 4 days of my GP appointment

@NotSorry Yep I got an appointment the same week. In my area they're maybe just offering people ones at hospitals a few miles away rather than their nearest one, in order to make appointments available more quickly.

@LuluBlakey1 Yes, 'living with cancer' isn't a euphemism anymore, many people are getting by indefinitely.

The pain became too bad again last night. My Dsis was staying with her so called 111 who sent an ambulance. Hospital have admitted her as it can't be managed at home.

Sorry to hear that OP, but she is in the best place to get that pain managed. Look after yourself, and remember to eat and sleep.