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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How can she be left like this? Take her back to A&E?

703 replies

Fearsheisdying · 23/01/2023 17:51

Posting for traffic has honestly I'm terrified something is seriously wrong with my Mum and don't know what to do so please be nice.

Last week she started with some pain that she says feels like it's right at the very bottom of her ribs and radiating round the sides. She was in agony, basically screaming with pain so I took her to A&E on the advice of 111. All obs and ECG were normal but the blood tests were abnormal. They were going to do a CT scan but then decided as her obs were ok and they didn't think there was a bleed as no fall/injury, they were not going to do a CT scan there but would refer it to the GP to arrange BUT because of the blood test results and recent weightloss, they wanted it done urgently under the "2 week rule" and from his grave tone, I highly suspect he thinks it's cancer and serious. They couldn't/wouldn't give her anymore painkillers because of the painkillers she's on for severe arthritis but these are not touching the pain.

Fast forward to today, she has been in absolute agony since Thursday and seems worse today and can barely move. She's exhausted and crying/screaming in pain. My sister called 999 today but they said as not life threatening they won't send an ambulance but had to speak to GP within an hour. GP receptionist tried to say no appointments so we couldn't speak to GP but after I explained the issue (and she could hear my Mum crying out in pain) she finally agreed to pass a message to the GP so currently waiting to see if GP will call back today or not. Mum says if I take her back to A&E we'll be sat for hours again and nothing will be done but I can't just sit here and watch her in so much pain and do nothing.

What do I do?! Do I make her let me take her to A&E? Do we wait to see if the GP will call? Just feel so helpless

OP posts:
Canuckduck · 24/01/2023 01:33

Yes my mother had sudden, intense pain in this area for diverticulitis. She needed emergency surgery and then a long recovery period with a colostomy bag as the portions of the intestine healed. Later she had it all reversed (reattached) but it was a significant operation and recovery. She had not had symptoms previously. Very frightening.

Lindtcat · 24/01/2023 01:36

Hope your mum gets some answers and relief soon.Flowers

Fearsheisdying · 24/01/2023 01:52

Morphine hasn't done much so far but he did say she could well have a low (high?) tolerance for it due to her normal medication so he is going to up it. CT scan has been approved so just waiting for that.

Thank you wondeful vipers for keeping me company. It's going to be a long night but I really hope it brings some answers x

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 24/01/2023 01:55

Fearsheisdying · 24/01/2023 01:52

Morphine hasn't done much so far but he did say she could well have a low (high?) tolerance for it due to her normal medication so he is going to up it. CT scan has been approved so just waiting for that.

Thank you wondeful vipers for keeping me company. It's going to be a long night but I really hope it brings some answers x

If she isn't already on them it might be worth asking for anti sickness tablets if possible to pre empt nausea from the painkillers

Fearsheisdying · 24/01/2023 02:05

thaegumathteth · 24/01/2023 01:55

If she isn't already on them it might be worth asking for anti sickness tablets if possible to pre empt nausea from the painkillers

She isn't so will see if we can sort that too, nothing worse than feeling sick. Well, besides awful pain! Think she take feeling sick over the pain in a nano second haha!

OP posts:
Diorling · 24/01/2023 02:06

So sorry your poor mum has had such a horrific time in such pain, and hope it’s soon sorted. Sending you both virtual hugs and best wishes.

ShandaLear · 24/01/2023 03:21

I’m sorry your mum is in such pain, OP, and I’m glad she has you with her. Such pain is horrible for the person suffering and frightening for those supporting them. I hope the pain is managed now, and that whatever is wrong is easily treatable.

Wife2b · 24/01/2023 04:18

Any news OP? How is your Mum? 😢

DaughterOfPsychiatrist · 24/01/2023 04:23

I’m awake (menopause!) so just adding another middle of the night support post to the pile!

So glad tonight’s doctor is on the ball and not entertaining any further delays/offloads.

Fingers crossed your mam’s pain is under control soon xx

00kitty · 24/01/2023 04:39

Hoping they’ve got your mum out of pain with the morphine, the pain sounds horrendous

hope you are able to get some rest too ❤️

Rowgtfc72 · 24/01/2023 04:39

Hope your mum is a bit more comfortable now.

Fearsheisdying · 24/01/2023 04:46

She's had the CT now, just waiting for the results. Unfortunately the morphine doesn't work for long before the pain comes back. I think they maybe want the results back before trying anything else. I'm so tired 😴fortunately no work today so I'll be able to grab some sleep while the DC are at school

OP posts:
magicthree · 24/01/2023 04:49

VaccineSticker · 23/01/2023 21:53

That’s literally the job of A&E.
The patient should never be discharged if they are in the situation that the OP has described. It is literally the job of A&E to send her for emergency scans and then direct her to the correct consultant there and then and get admitted to get the correct treatment she needs- and not : here is some pain killers then wait for God’s mercy …probably 2-3 week till the doc sends a referral then wait for the hospital to fit you in etc .
All what they are doing now is like kicking the can down the road and making her medical condition possibly worse and more complicated.
what a waste of GP and nhs resources. Appalling.

I agree with this, and the more I read about the NHS the more thankful I am that I don't live in the UK. My DF was taken to hospital by ambulance last week, was sent for scans and then straight onto a ward until they found our what the problem was. And people complain bitterly about our health system!!!

2018SoFarSoGreat · 24/01/2023 04:49

Ah that's another step forward at least!

Maybe you can time a short nap right after get next dose if medication, if possible. Hopefully there is a spot you can make yourself comfy.

Nimbostratus100 · 24/01/2023 05:07

thinking of you and your mum @Fearsheisdying

1AngelicFruitCake · 24/01/2023 05:14

Hoping you’re both ok x

Coffeecreme · 24/01/2023 05:15

i am glad you got her to hospital op and hope she can get some pain relief that works.

Triflenot · 24/01/2023 05:19

Thinking of you both OP x

cindybyrd547 · 24/01/2023 05:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

rainbowstardrops · 24/01/2023 05:34

Thinking of you and your mum @Fearsheisdying Flowers

whateveryouwantmetosay · 24/01/2023 05:51

Glad you're mum is being seen. Hope she's out of pain and you have answers soon.

DorisParchment · 24/01/2023 05:54

You must be shattered. But at least your Mum is now getting the care she needs.

Fearsheisdying · 24/01/2023 06:04

Thank you all. Still waiting scan results but she is being admitted for further tests. Just waiting for her to be transferred to a ward and then I'll go home to sleep lol

OP posts:
Wombatbum · 24/01/2023 06:59

So glad they are taking it seriously. Shame on those who said not to take her!!

Dymaxion · 24/01/2023 07:05

Glad to hear she has managed to get some pain relief, even if its only short acting and that she has been scanned and is being admitted. Hope you manage to get some sleep today, you must be shattered !