If you could go back in time and not have DC, would you?

[Winteray]

My partner and I have just turned 30 and it’s reaching that point in time where we really need to decide whether or not we want to have children. I will need IVF so a decision to TTC would involve a lengthy NHS wait list or a large investment in private fertility treatment. Very much on the fence at the moment given the state of the world and the fact we are pretty happy with my life as it is right now, equally we don’t want to have regrets in the future.

Interested to hear others views from those that went ahead and had DC!

YANBU - if I could go back in time I probably wouldn’t have had DC
YABU - I wouldn’t change it for the world

My children are the absolute best of me, without sounding too repulsive. They are the best thing I have ever done or will do.

Absolutely not. Have multiple DC via (privately funded) IVF and would do it again in a heartbeat.

The only thing i don't like about having kids is the constant worry. So no, I wouldn't change it but I wish they came with a guarantee or something.

No. Never. My kids are one of the best things in my life.

the other way round. I'm 46, have no children and wouldn't change a thing.

Cliche I know, but having kids is hands down the best thing I've done in my life (and I quite like my life generally!). There is no way I would change that.

I love my children, but I fear for their future and what will happen to the planet and society, so I do sometimes wish we had never had children.

Best thing I’ve ever done. But it’s a personal choice - asking for random internet opinions on something so major doesn’t make sense

Yes I definitely wouldn’t have had children if I could go back

I could not envisage a happy life for myself without my wonderful children in it. They are everything, my absolute world.

my Children are the best thing about my life. Hi

I wouldn't have them if I could go back.

exactly what @Greatly said. Couldn’t have worded it better.

Definitely a personal choice, but easily the best thing I’ve ever done! I have 3 under 5 and wouldn’t change it!

I’m happily child free and I’ve had absolutely loads of people tell me over the years that although they love them dearly they wish they hadn’t had them and wouldn’t if they could have their time again

You absolutely cannot base this decision from other people’s wishes/retreats. That’s madness.

Don’t do it to yourself for the sake of it. Of course you’ll love the children when you have them, but why blow your life into pieces just because? Nothing will ever be the same, your body, mind, life all upside down.

Yes and no..

I say no because I adore my kids, they are amazing so if I could go back and know life without them then absolutely not.

I say yes because I have crippling health anxiety and it's all based around me dying while my kids are young, medication isn't helping so I live each day with this ridiculous fear that something will take me away from them before they are adults. So if I could go back and choose then maybe I would choose a life without children as I feel it would be a more peaceful existence mentally where I don't have to have this constant anxiety.

There are many things I would change about my life, but my children aren't one of them - they are my joy, my treasure, my privilege, my heart-wholeness.

As an alternative view though, - my now grown up son and my DDIL have made the decision not to have children and they lead very happy, fulfilling, joyful lives.

sorry - I've been no help at all !

It’s nice to see people being positive about having kids for once! It has been wonderful for me.

IVF was the hardest thing I've ever done. It was successful with our only NHS round (very touch and go at times) but so very stressful and all consuming. I would not put myself through it if I wasn't 100% sure I wanted a child. Especially not if you're thinking of paying privately as you could just end up out of pocket having had an unsuccessful round and still unsure if it's what you want.

Just sitting here thinking and I absolutely wouldn't want to live my life without them, they are my greatest achievement and they are the best decisions I've ever made.

Just wish this anxiety would piss off and leave me alone!

Only if I could go back knowing what I know now, and knowing I made that choice iyswim.

So I really really wanted kids before I had them. But if I go back to not having them, would I become that person again?

Also, I don't sweat the small stuff anymore, post kids, and am a lot less judgemental. So I'd need to retain that.

And I'd need to forget my actual kids as obviously not having them would he heartbreaking.

I’m only 18 months into parenthood and wouldn’t change it for anything. He’s the best. I’ll be interested if I say the same thing after 18 years?!!

I hate it when AIBU and the stupid voting system gets used for a major question like this.