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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DD (13) watch Love Island

227 replies

ChocolatewithWine · 22/01/2023 19:00

She keeps asking to watch it, she kept asking last year as well. DH thinks she’s ok to watch it but I disagree, AIBU? I’ve never watched it so don’t know what it’s like really. I just think that 13 is a bit young for something like Love Island, this is only based on the little that I know about it though.

OP posts:
itsnotmeitisactuallyyou · 28/01/2023 20:10

ChocolatewithWine · 22/01/2023 19:00

She keeps asking to watch it, she kept asking last year as well. DH thinks she’s ok to watch it but I disagree, AIBU? I’ve never watched it so don’t know what it’s like really. I just think that 13 is a bit young for something like Love Island, this is only based on the little that I know about it though.

Stand your ground,do not let her watch this shite

HistoryOnyx · 28/01/2023 20:20

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/01/2023 20:19

(I was watching Eurotrash secretly about that age, which was far more explicit than Love Island!)

Genuine question, because I have never seen LI except in little snatches: is LI ever as consciously absurdly funny as Eurotrash?

CarpyDiem · 28/01/2023 20:31

HistoryOnyx · 28/01/2023 20:20

Genuine question, because I have never seen LI except in little snatches: is LI ever as consciously absurdly funny as Eurotrash?

Show quote history

No, it's not funny and rarely silly.

It's rather repetitive (lots of conversations about "where's my head at" or whether the "door is open" and who they're "getting to know at a deeper level"

The challenges are usually crass

So if you watch with, and point out all the annoying (and inarticulate bits) then the DC may well go off it. Or at least apply a bit of critical judgement.

deargodhelpmeplease · 28/01/2023 20:37

I don't mind my teenager watching some bits of it, but I think some of the hideaway scenes this week were a bit much.

Sometimeswinning · 28/01/2023 21:12

I let my daughter watch it. She's 13. She accepts all my memes I send her about being less a few brain cells to watch it. Recently we've had 3 girls 13-14 sending naked pics to boys and going off with blokes more than twice their age. I'm not worried about love island! It's real people not tv shows which pose a problem.

Gardeningpot · 28/01/2023 21:40

Don't let her, honestly. Mind warping

WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 28/01/2023 22:39

@Flapjackquack

oh come on! You know nothing existed befire Tik tok!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Sometimeswinning · 28/01/2023 22:49

Gardeningpot · 28/01/2023 21:40

Don't let her, honestly. Mind warping

Guessing you don't have a teenager who has a say in what they do? (Hint, there's always a way!!)

Stewball01 · 29/01/2023 00:48

@LottoLaura
How condescending you sound. Do you have daughters?

Stewball01 · 29/01/2023 00:55

@Sometimeswinning
😳

Cariadm · 29/01/2023 04:30

Iwasjustasking · 22/01/2023 19:09
I don’t see the issue tbh and all of her friends will be talking about it!

'ALL' her friends won't be 'talking about it' because many of them will have sensible parents like you who realise what utter shallow, mindless time wasting ADULT crap the programme actually is and will have also refused permission!! 🙄😒

boqq · 29/01/2023 07:06

35965a · 22/01/2023 19:18

It’s a toxic show, no way I’d let a young teenager watch it.

Probably, I never watched it, so don’t know. The reality though is that they watch so much on social media these days that there is no way she’s not been exposed to at least excerpts from it or similar. It’s no longer possible really to police what they watch as they have access on their phone or tablet unsupervised at school etc…

ArthurFoxache · 29/01/2023 07:28

I.e. the sex positions task. It's very explicit, and a bit much for a 13 year old - imo - but it does depend on the level of maturity of your daughter. If it was me, I'd rather watch it with her, than ban it altogether but I'd try and delay it for another year or 2 if possible.

Memeagain · 29/01/2023 11:15

Because others are watching it she should?
Does that mean if her friends are stealing or having underage sex she should too?

ellyeth · 29/01/2023 12:53

I saw a little bit of one some time back - a girl crying - that put me off to start with. My understanding is that it is encouraging young people to engage in sexual behaviour that they perhaps wouldn't, were it not for the fact that they know what is expected of them. Also it encourages a nasty sort of competitiveness and a disregard for the feelings of others. Cheap and nasty - especially because it is being broadcast and seen by millions of people - regrets may come later. I do get that your daughter will try to watch it elsewhere and/or will discuss it with friends, so perhaps it is better that she watches it in your home and then you can raise issues that you find exploitative and see how she feels about it.

I also agree with the point made before that these young people are specially chosen for their physique and looks. We already have young men and women are unhappy with their appearances and who feel they must alter the way they look - either through diet or plastic surgery - and programmes like this don't help.

MrsSkylerWhite · 29/01/2023 12:58

SpaceMonitor · 22/01/2023 19:16
motleymop · 22/01/2023 19:09
It's a pretty unhealthy programme. I wouldn't want my daughter to watch it“

This. Son at that age, either.

ellyeth · 29/01/2023 14:09

Sometimeswinning Programmes like Love Island set a tone for what is considered desirable and acceptable - and those that take part are "real people", as are those that watch.

Cariadm · 29/01/2023 15:50

Sometimeswinning Programmes like Love Island set a tone for what is considered desirable and acceptable - and those that take part are "real people", as are those that watch....

OMG!! Unfortunately this post is up to a point correct and that's just what bothers me! 😏The programme, and others like it, involves young men and women who have been brainwashed by society into believing that what they need to be most concerned about above ALL ELSE is how they LOOK, that cosmetic surgery is now the norm even when it results in a lovely person making themselves look like everybody else with a comical 'trout pout', 'slug eyebrows' and massive boobs that simply don't belong on an otherwise unnaturally skinny body the achievement of which has possibly resulted in an eating disorder!! 😥These types of programme encourage blind and unquestioning self promotion in the worst way, falseness, deceitfulness and quite frankly I wouldn't want any child of any gender to witness human beings being paid to behave in such a mentally unhealthy, nasty, shallow and fake way 😱OK so now call me a narrow minded prude, 'see this face', NOT BOTHERED!!!! 😡

Meowandthen · 29/01/2023 19:28

Dreadful role models and nothing to aspire to.

realmsofglory · 29/01/2023 19:42

Redbushteaforme · 22/01/2023 22:42

She is 13, most likely hears about peers giving blowjobs at school, why would anything go over her head? 13, not 3

Good grief. What sort of school do your DC go to? If 13 year olds at their school are really talking about this or doing this, there could well be safeguarding issues. I don't think this is familiar to most 13 year olds, nor should it be.

your naivety is cute!

Sometimeswinning · 29/01/2023 20:21

Cariadm · 29/01/2023 15:50

Sometimeswinning Programmes like Love Island set a tone for what is considered desirable and acceptable - and those that take part are "real people", as are those that watch....

OMG!! Unfortunately this post is up to a point correct and that's just what bothers me! 😏The programme, and others like it, involves young men and women who have been brainwashed by society into believing that what they need to be most concerned about above ALL ELSE is how they LOOK, that cosmetic surgery is now the norm even when it results in a lovely person making themselves look like everybody else with a comical 'trout pout', 'slug eyebrows' and massive boobs that simply don't belong on an otherwise unnaturally skinny body the achievement of which has possibly resulted in an eating disorder!! 😥These types of programme encourage blind and unquestioning self promotion in the worst way, falseness, deceitfulness and quite frankly I wouldn't want any child of any gender to witness human beings being paid to behave in such a mentally unhealthy, nasty, shallow and fake way 😱OK so now call me a narrow minded prude, 'see this face', NOT BOTHERED!!!! 😡

Not all people fall for it. My dd tells me all about it. We're watching the next season together apparently! When I was 13 I was depressed about my looks. Had a really bad relationship with my parents. My dd is confident in herself. She doesn't aspire to these women. She's suffered anxiety more from her friends than a TV show and that was at primary school. She sees these people as entertainment. Unlike you, she never pulls them apart for their appearance! The irony.

Dotcomma · 30/01/2023 02:38

As a trade off, perhaps let them watch the saturday episode where it's not as scripted and usually has funny things going on rather than the weekday predictive garbage.

Some parents don't give a monkeys what their kids watch or what they're upto on their phones - unfortunately their kids are the ones who end up as bullies and act like they think they're 25. You have to steer them in the right direction or the wheels come off.

Christianmummy · 31/01/2023 01:00

YANBU.

Your instincts are spot on but you're driving against a culture that is permissive to a fault, both the types saying "show her it and explain why it's bad", but also, the culture in your home.

Perhaps people are desensitized these days, but Love Island has been downright pornographic. It used to be the case that fathers protected their daughter's innocence, why is your husband neglecting that responsibility? What are your husband's cultual and entertainment inputs that he is okay with exposing his daughter to overtly sexual content? He is being weak. I hope you can make him see clearly and get the suportive, strong coparenting you need to make sure your daughter doesn't aspire to be on that show one day - even if her friends do!

Annabella91 · 07/02/2023 21:56

Iv only seen the show briefly on ads and while flicking through TV channels.
I wouldn't be letting my 11 year old watch it not a chance.
I've never seen such crap in my life it's about sex appearance and the lack of diversity there all one body size with not a single stretch mark or cellulite or belly rolls etc in sight it just teaches young girls and women to hate there bodies and causes eating disorders the list is endless.

Macinae · 16/02/2023 20:16

Not sure I'd let a 13 year old watch it. Not just because of the casual conversations about sex that I think 13 is too young for, but it's contribution to body image issues.

Perhaps depends on the level of maturity and important conversations being had with you and her about realistic standards of beauty and sex.