To not let DD (13) watch Love Island

[ChocolatewithWine]

She keeps asking to watch it, she kept asking last year as well. DH thinks she’s ok to watch it but I disagree, AIBU? I’ve never watched it so don’t know what it’s like really. I just think that 13 is a bit young for something like Love Island, this is only based on the little that I know about it though.

That’s not ‘explicit’

Plus at 13 they’ll be used to far worse! Some will even be doing it themselves at this age

The way they treat each other, particularly how the men treat the women. Faking feelings and discussing what they have/haven’t done to each other. I believe Refuge issued a statement about it all last year.

I'd watch it with her, it will be useful for opening up discussions. It will help her feel part of her friendship group too.

I didn’t want to let my dd watch it. But all her friends were. I decided we would watch it together. If anything, I think it helped with discussions around cosmetic surgery and bodies in general, along with healthy relationships. She got bored of it within a couple of weeks. Forbidden fruit is always more interesting.

I don’t watch it but I remember sneakily watching Big Brother on mute with subtitles in my room at that age, because I just wanted to fit in at school. I would watch it with her if you can bear it and use it as an opener to discuss healthy boundaries in relationships and issues around body image rather than make it a taboo for her. She will find out about it from school anyway so I’d rather be able to shape the narrative around it a little.

She'll see worse on Snapchat !

Refuge issue statements all the time, mostly to take advantage of the increased media attention and therefore donations they can achieve.

I worked for a similar organisation 2 years ago that issued a statement on LI for the same reason, not because there were genuine concerns, but the increased awareness online was beneficial financially.

It’s a highly edited show, and discussing what you’ve done to someone is hardly explicit or much more than most teens that age will already be discussing.

The latest seasons are nothing like as explicit as the earlier ones, particularly the first one. 😳

I would actually watch it with her. Then you can have chats about it, it’s a good way to discuss relationships and sexism etc etc. I’ve done that with dd for years now (she’s 19 now). It’s fun. Don’t take it too seriously. At 13 there won’t be anything on there she won’t have heard about by now.

And that’s why it’s good to watch it together, to be able to identify and discuss these things, rather than ban watching it altogether.

If everyone else is talking about it, I’d let her watch it. I remember being at school and everyone else talking about the show you couldn’t watch, and while it’s not permanently scarring, it’s not a fun feeling. If you’re concerned about the content, could you watch it with her and use it as a starting point for conversations about the issues which come up in it. Or she could always go to a friend’s house after school and watch it there, or find a way to bypass any filtering software you have on her devices and watch it after you think she’s gone to bed…

Agreed. Half of all 11 to 13 year olds have encountered porn.

When I was 12, I got a copy of one of those teen-pop mags around. Early 1990s, not a great selection.
I just wanted to "be with it".
My parents promptly confiscated the offensive piece of paper, making me very aware of how inappropriate it was and how unworthy of our family they deemed it to be.

Never mind the fact that due to cramped living conditions, I had seen far worse under the guise of historical drama!

Watch an episode of the dratted show with her and trust her judgement. Let her form a judgment! She won't be tainted.

I didn’t let my DD watch it at that age either. YANBU.

*historical drama on tv

And panned by MIND the previous year because of the appalling behaviour of one of the women and its effects on others in the villa.

I'd keep her off it for a while longer, but do remember that if her friends watch it, she'll be hearing all about it and possibly watching surreptitiously (at theirs or on catch up)

I think it's worth gritting your teeth and watching with her when you start allowing it in your home. I did this (gave in when DD was 15) and we have had some v interesting discussions.

My first reaction was no but then I had a think about it. I probably would watch it with them (urgh) then use it as a springboard to discuss consent, appropriate behaviour, doing things under pressure for money and fame etc

My 15yo is allowed on condition that I am in the same room and she isn't allowed to complain about me making sarcastic remarks.

She won't let me him "Love Shack" everything Shaq is on screen though...

My daughter is several years older than yours and has expressed no desire to watch it. Even though a few of her friends do. It’s perfectly possible to be a teen girl and not watch it and not be teased. 13 is pretty young for this crap. I agree with you really

I don't think anyone should be allowed to watch no matter how young or old they are !

Have you seen it?

I'd be tempted to watch it with her and take the mickey out of all of them!

@LottoLaura
That’s not ‘explicit’

Plus at 13 they’ll be used to far worse! Some will even be doing it themselves at this age

Which isn't a good thing at 13.

I would watch it with her then if there’s parts you don’t agree with then you can talk about it and have some open conversations. I did that with teen DD as all her friends were watching it and I felt like I’d rather be involved than wait until she’s older when I can’t really say no and let it all go unchallenged

@35965a

Yes the girls can be toxic and mean. The boys, not so much

Never said it was

It’s just a bit weird to consider adults talking in ‘code’ about giving a handjob to be explicit.