To not let DD (13) watch Love Island

[ChocolatewithWine]

She keeps asking to watch it, she kept asking last year as well. DH thinks she’s ok to watch it but I disagree, AIBU? I’ve never watched it so don’t know what it’s like really. I just think that 13 is a bit young for something like Love Island, this is only based on the little that I know about it though.

I C&P that quote from another poster's comment. Your original comment wasn't on my radar of concern at all.

I seem to think (as far as I recall) that your comment also came quite late in the thread, after I'd already opined about children watching pornography on their parent's watch.

I have neither twisted your words, nor actually directly referred to them.

I'm actually a bit fucking baffled why ANY parent or decent person, for that matter, has an issue with wanting parents to step up and stop their kids watching porn at age 13.

That is the point of all of my posts, and yet you're back, insisting on arguing the toss.

Schools have to deal with this - why can't parents? And what is your beef with saying so? It's a massive problem and everyone needs to start admitting it's an issue and start dealing with it.

It should NOT be a school safeguarding matter only. Parents need to be more savvy and more engaged with safeguarding their children's access to inappropriate material.

1. I wasn’t talking to you.
2. Nowhere have I said anything about 13 year olds watching porn being a good thing.

But you go ahead and imagine you’ve read what you want to so you can feel all righteous about it.

1. Are you 12?
2. Nowhere have I suggested that you have.

But you go right ahead and imagine...blah blah blah.

So what are you actually arguing about then? What is your point?

@Ottil - I am actually starting to wonder if we are reading completely different things at this point, your responses are quite mad and you seem rather obsessed with pornography.

All I’ve said is Love Island is not pornography as far as I am aware, and that watching it with your 13 year old could be a useful way of monitoring what they are watching and open up some useful discussions about relationships and body image.

The only person insisting on talking about teenagers being allowed to watch pornography here is you.

I think it's not suitable for a child of 13 and irrelevant if her friends are discussing it. Perhaps her friends are doing other things, or talking or behaving in ways OP might not approve of. It doesn't mean OP has to lower her standards.
I think it reduces people to the level of 'bodies being traded between takers'. Urgh! Really - we need to raise the standards of what we put before impressionable minds.

As you know, I have separated my comments about children watching pornography from the Love Island comments. I was clear on that upthread in order to respond the issues of pornography raised by other posters - not me.

The only person insisting on talking about teenagers being allowed to watch pornography here is you

No gaslighting, thanks. It's all in the thread.

your responses are quite mad and you seem rather obsessed with pornography

I'm posting about safeguarding children. You post this ^ 🙄

If you can't debate, insult, eh?

There's actually a coherent debate on attitudes towards pornography/kids/Love Island on this thread. Are you pretending it doesn't exist in order to argue with posters?

You're adding nothing to the debate, but you know that.

... sorry, that was to Flapjack

@ShakkaKhant - really? Where? Because your echo chamber buddy couldn’t point it out. I just see a group of posters jumping on another to call their parenting disgraceful. I’ll leave you to your echo chamber though.

Thanks for the valuable insights, Flapjack. Have a beautiful evening.

It's not a cold shoulder shrug from me.

It's a recognition that this show was very well known and discussed amongst classmates. So my decision was whether to leave DD in that environment, exposed to a second hand version (+/- actual clips) or if I should intervene, so I did. And we watched it together, and talked about what was good and what was bad. Including what referenced pornography (the show itself isn't pornographic, but it references very adult themes) and put it in context. Discussing what was fair banter and what was misogyny (and the converse), looking at what we thought was staged and when snippets might be real. Who was being reasonable and who wasn't. Did angry outbursts amount to abuse. When things stop being fun and when to draw a line. How to draw a line. Lots of stuff.

So when she comes across other stuff in future, she's got some of the furniture in her head to think about it rather than swallow it whole

As a teacher of girls I would never let a daughter or son of mine watch it under the age of 16. Both male and female contestants are poor role models and, if your daughter has any body issues watching it would only exasperate the situation.

I was actually the person on the thread, who first cited that half of 11 to 13 year olds have viewed porn. Another poster then related this to blow jobs, therefore, it’s understandable I thought you were addressing me also. A girl in my class gave a boy a bj in year 9 and I had no idea what that was at the time. I was 13, maybe 14. Inappropriate sexual behaviour almost 40 years ago. My mother would have been horrified had I told her, which I didn’t. She and I didn’t have that kind of relationship.

My thoughts too. It is known to actually destroy braincells *

*my own opinion but pretty sure some scientific research would back it up.

@AuntieStella - agree 100% 👍

Every few days, they also send a couple to the Hideaway where they give them lingerie and chocolate covered strawberries and sex toys to try to heat up their relationship.

Hopefully this quote will help you decide, OP, about whether the show is suitable for your DD.

Frankly, I can't believe that anyone could think that anyone would think it would be suitable for a child, regardless of whether you are sitting when them or not.

Children need a childhood, not to be introduced to sexualised environments when they are too young.

And to support other posters who have been attacked above, I am quite shocked at the shoulder-shrugging and "meh, they all see it anyway and are probably already doing it" attitude which is coming over in some posts.

I tend to agree. I think by "allowing" it, you're basically normalising it and by default saying it's acceptable.
The only thing where I'm not sure is if they have access to it anyway via their phones. Although I remember sneakily watching programmes I wasn't allowed to and therefore I did think they were "adult only", whereas if I was allowed to I think it would've made me think they were ok.

On the flip side if a child consumes adult content without adult input, they may internalise that in an inappropriate way, whereas if a parent is there to guide them, they already have furniture in (their) head… nicely put by Auntiestella upthread.

Yes I can see that too. It's so hard isn't it, I feel things were much simpler when I was 13. I'd hate to be a girl growing up now. Pamela Anderson used to be more of a fantasy type body when I was growing up, now shows like Love Island make this seem like this is 'normal'. Fake boobs, fake lips, fake everything 😔

100% with you OP. Perhaps give her some reasons to tell those at school who may or claim to be watching it why your DD is not. One I can think of is not to watch a show where two former contestants committed suicide.

There should also be consequences for persistently asking, if that continues.

That’s why I voted yes.

That’s why I voted yes

I wouldn’t want to expose my daughter of that age to the horrible female role models on that programme with their lip fillers and tarty looks. You could try watching it with her and making fun of it/taking a feminist angle!