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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DD (13) watch Love Island

227 replies

ChocolatewithWine · 22/01/2023 19:00

She keeps asking to watch it, she kept asking last year as well. DH thinks she’s ok to watch it but I disagree, AIBU? I’ve never watched it so don’t know what it’s like really. I just think that 13 is a bit young for something like Love Island, this is only based on the little that I know about it though.

OP posts:
QueSyrahSyrah · 22/01/2023 21:14

@Startwithamimosa When did you last watch Love Island? They haven't shown obvious sexual activity for years as part of their (supposed) improvements in protecting participants mental health. There's the odd hint to something going on under the covers but no obvious humping, nor is it spoken about in terms other than innuendo.

crispsandnuts · 22/01/2023 21:25

What do they actually do all day? apart from pull the gstring out their arses. Not exactly a true representation of the real world.

Queeofgreens · 22/01/2023 21:26

I’d rather watch paint dry

JaninaDuszejko · 22/01/2023 21:30

Luckily my daughters (15 &13) have shown no interest in watching it although my 15yo told me lots of the 'popular' girls in her form watch it (that is not a recommendation). It's not the kind of thing I watch and it's clear when you look for an age rating that it's close to an 18 due to the sexual content. I wouldn't let my 13yo watch, there would be more of a discussion with my 15yo and suggesting she should maybe wait till she's at least 16. I'd want to watch it myself first though. That's the rule we have about Sex Education which I adore and think is actually quite good for older teens to watch but DD1 was still a bit young when we first discussed it.

Slimjimtobe · 22/01/2023 21:33

No - it’s quite negative / bitchy
it’s not the influence you would want on a 13 year old

Startwithamimosa · 22/01/2023 21:34

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/01/2023 21:14

@Startwithamimosa When did you last watch Love Island? They haven't shown obvious sexual activity for years as part of their (supposed) improvements in protecting participants mental health. There's the odd hint to something going on under the covers but no obvious humping, nor is it spoken about in terms other than innuendo.

Probably a few years ago now, I didn't realise it had changed. That's good if it's improved now

MrsMikeDrop · 22/01/2023 21:34

knobheadinlaws · 22/01/2023 20:29

Why don't you watch it with her? That way you can point out how unhealthy it is and why, as well as why it's a total craphole of a show

This is a great idea

Icedlatteplease · 22/01/2023 21:35

I've destroyed a few shows for DD17 by watching them with her whilst making a critical commentary over the top. Sometimes its feminist commentary Sometimes it pointing out all the evidence that the show is a fix.

I consider the destruction of Ru pauls drag race a particular success

TeaAndBrie · 22/01/2023 21:42

Honestly she will watch it with or without you allowing her to. There are so many clips on YouTube, instagram etc that if she wants to then she can easily find a way.
at least if you allow her to watch it you can talk about it with her.

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/01/2023 21:47

@Startwithamimosa Yes it's bit better now. They're only allowed a tiny bit of alcohol so their inhibitions aren't compromised, and I've read that if the production team have concerns anyone is drunk then they'll step in and prevent any situations that could be regrettable.

LottoLaura · 22/01/2023 21:49

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 22/01/2023 21:09

It's practically porn!! I wouldn't at 13 far too young!!

What shitty porn do you watch?

Mamoun · 22/01/2023 21:49

megletthesecond · 22/01/2023 19:19

It's a good opener for chats about unhealthy relationships and fake body image.

I can see the argument but a teenager will still glorify what they see on TV and perceive as attractive.
You can't control the unconscious so if it was me OP I wouldn't let her. These images/scenarios stay stuck in a developing brain.

LottoLaura · 22/01/2023 21:50

JaninaDuszejko · 22/01/2023 21:30

Luckily my daughters (15 &13) have shown no interest in watching it although my 15yo told me lots of the 'popular' girls in her form watch it (that is not a recommendation). It's not the kind of thing I watch and it's clear when you look for an age rating that it's close to an 18 due to the sexual content. I wouldn't let my 13yo watch, there would be more of a discussion with my 15yo and suggesting she should maybe wait till she's at least 16. I'd want to watch it myself first though. That's the rule we have about Sex Education which I adore and think is actually quite good for older teens to watch but DD1 was still a bit young when we first discussed it.

It’s not close to an 18.

In fact when googling it this comes up -

Speaking exclusively to GoodtoKnow, child psychologist Emma Citron explains that while the show is totally inappropriate for primary school children, it could be a good way to start meaningful conversations with secondary school children, aged 11 to 16.

Inastatus · 22/01/2023 21:52

OP - I’m just chatting to 18 yr old DD about this thread whilst watching Love Island. She said TikTok is far worse than Love Island so you might want to check what socials your DD is on. Imo it’s far better to acknowledge and accept so that you can talk about it rather than try and ban altogether in the false and belief that she is not being exposed to the issues.

Blueisthecolor · 22/01/2023 21:54

I watch it anyway so I'd let her watch it with me. If I wasn't happy about certain things I'd point it out and talk to her about it.

You could always watch some and decide if ur happy for her to watch it on her own or if I prefer to watch with her.

BeyondMyWits · 22/01/2023 22:04

I watched one and felt it was an adult program with adult themes and normalised swearing and drinking alcohol. I don't aspire to be like these people nor do I find watching car -crash-relationships entertainment. At 13 I would not want any of this to seem normal to my child, nor would I
want to actually watch it with them, life is too short.

LottoLaura · 22/01/2023 22:09

BeyondMyWits · 22/01/2023 22:04

I watched one and felt it was an adult program with adult themes and normalised swearing and drinking alcohol. I don't aspire to be like these people nor do I find watching car -crash-relationships entertainment. At 13 I would not want any of this to seem normal to my child, nor would I
want to actually watch it with them, life is too short.

Normalised swearing!

oh my goodness

alert the press

p.s Gransnet might be more your scene

Inastatus · 22/01/2023 22:13

BeyondMyWits · 22/01/2023 22:04

I watched one and felt it was an adult program with adult themes and normalised swearing and drinking alcohol. I don't aspire to be like these people nor do I find watching car -crash-relationships entertainment. At 13 I would not want any of this to seem normal to my child, nor would I
want to actually watch it with them, life is too short.

Normalised swearing and drinking alcohol 😱

BeyondMyWits · 22/01/2023 22:17

Lots of people don't swear all the time, and have a great life without alcohol...

Lots need one or both.

Don't see why the incredulity.

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/01/2023 22:19

BeyondMyWits · 22/01/2023 22:04

I watched one and felt it was an adult program with adult themes and normalised swearing and drinking alcohol. I don't aspire to be like these people nor do I find watching car -crash-relationships entertainment. At 13 I would not want any of this to seem normal to my child, nor would I
want to actually watch it with them, life is too short.

Alcohol & swearing! Somebody alert Ofcom!

Seriously, they're allowed 2 drinks each per night, alcohol is never mentioned and they drink from opaque glasses so the audience can't see the contents. A few nights ago they played 'beer-pong' and the narrator went to lengths to explain it was non-alcoholic beer.

If you've seen them glamorising alcohol you haven't seen it for some time. They're never, ever seen smoking either.

LottoLaura · 22/01/2023 22:22

BeyondMyWits · 22/01/2023 22:17

Lots of people don't swear all the time, and have a great life without alcohol...

Lots need one or both.

Don't see why the incredulity.

Your comment was very Mary Whitehouse

Also it’s not an adult program, with adult themes.

There are 12as with more sexual content in it

BeyondMyWits · 22/01/2023 22:24

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/01/2023 22:19

Alcohol & swearing! Somebody alert Ofcom!

Seriously, they're allowed 2 drinks each per night, alcohol is never mentioned and they drink from opaque glasses so the audience can't see the contents. A few nights ago they played 'beer-pong' and the narrator went to lengths to explain it was non-alcoholic beer.

If you've seen them glamorising alcohol you haven't seen it for some time. They're never, ever seen smoking either.

Show quote history

Never said they smoked. And drinking 2 drinks each every night is normalising (my actual word, not glamourising) drinking alcohol.

Xrays · 22/01/2023 22:24

BeyondMyWits · 22/01/2023 22:04

I watched one and felt it was an adult program with adult themes and normalised swearing and drinking alcohol. I don't aspire to be like these people nor do I find watching car -crash-relationships entertainment. At 13 I would not want any of this to seem normal to my child, nor would I
want to actually watch it with them, life is too short.

But happy to waste time moaning about it on an anonymous forum… 🤷‍♀️😆

QueSyrahSyrah · 22/01/2023 22:28

@BeyondMyWits But they never talk about the alcohol, it's never mentioned. I know they're allowed 2 because I've read interviews and such from ex-islanders or crew. They don't normalise OR glamourise alcohol because it's simply never discussed.

Redbushteaforme · 22/01/2023 22:42

She is 13, most likely hears about peers giving blowjobs at school, why would anything go over her head? 13, not 3

Good grief. What sort of school do your DC go to? If 13 year olds at their school are really talking about this or doing this, there could well be safeguarding issues. I don't think this is familiar to most 13 year olds, nor should it be.

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