“Nice” London areas where parents do nothing but obsess about schools and house prices. Where can I escape this?

[Ohhiho]

I live in an area that has “come up” in the 15+ years I’ve been there. By “come up”, I mean become absurdly and stupidly expensive, and wealthy families (ones who have benefitted from the bank of mum and dad usually) have moved in.

People I had things in common with moved out, new people moved in, and now all my kids’ friends’ parents talk about when I’m standing around at the school gate or watching football lessons, is where their children will go to secondary school (Ie: where the parents are planning to move to because the local one has poor people that go to it - i’m guessing this is their problem because the results are fine) and house prices.

These people are obsessed. It’s really depressing.

I am probably being unreasonable. But it feels quite lonely not connecting with the people who I live among anymore. They’re rich people who went to private school themselves, but don’t want to pay for their kids if they can get away with it, pretend they’re liberal but move to get their kids into an outstanding state primary school and are now agitated that the secondary isn’t outstanding and planning to move next to an outstanding state secondary / tutor their kids to the extreme to get into a grammar that’s heavily oversubscribed / remortgage to get their kids into private school.

Am I the only one who has noticed this London obsession and is exhausted by it?!

I dream of taking myself and my kids (and my partner!) and finding a nice wholesome life somewhere, one without Roblox and pushy, exam-obsessed parents. AIBU?

Just move outside the m25. Preferably to somewhere with a good comp.

No one then talks about it anymore because the expectations are just that everyone goes to the local school

My brother lives just outside the M25 and ALL people talk about at his kids’ parties when I go is house prices. It feels like these are the two obsessions of the middle class - schools and house prices. I can’t with it anymore!! I just can’t!

I’m sure I’m just being a miserable, pre-menstrual cow.

Roblox?

Also, they’re probably not particularly “rich” people. They’re just people. You’d probably like some of them if you weren’t busy being such a colossal inverted snob.

And there’s nothing wrong with parents wanting the best education for their children.

I like computer games, but Roblox does my head in - so I chucked in there to also go if I was choosing some stuff to offload from my life! 😁

Can you move to a more diverse area? Do you have any ideas? Also you could move to another large city. We are less obsessed. I defo identify your descriptions.

Roblox can be blocked on your wifi. Hope that’s helpful. It’s utterly moronic (I’ve played it). Not a patch on Minecraft which is way more interesting.

I’m intrigued whereabouts are you?

You live in a nice part of London and because you don’t fit in with the people around you presume that they are representative of the whole of London? Get real. You could move to many, many other parts of London and find a whole new set of problems which I think may put your Roblox concerns into some perspective.

We must be neighbours?

But seriously, of course I want the best for my kids too. I just don’t like the hypocrisy (they don’t like the local school because they’re scared of its demographic, not its results). And it’s. All. They. Talk. About.

Maybe because I don’t have any friends there, so that’s the general small talk chitchat.

Sorry if I sound a bit snippy. But it’s probably what you’re focusing on. My dc are at a selective prep school and some parents bang on and on about house prices and next schools etc. But lots of us don’t. Obviously we talk about schools sometimes but I don’t really hang out with the parents who talk about nothing else (because it’s very boring if over done). We talk about tv and holidays and films and books and work and all sorts of other things.

Talk about secondary schools (especially in years 5 and 6) happens because it’s something you all have in common.

I moved from Clapham to Streatham. The people much more down to earth generally speaking.

I love Minecraft!

Good tip on blocking Roblox! I did not know that.

Zone 2, north east London… I’ll let you guess!

Haha yes I feel your pain. I'm so tired and bored of being the 'poor relation' in my friendship group. Lately I've found a couple of new friends that are shared owners and can't fecking afford to buy the other shares of their places either! London feels very unequal at the moment I agree.

I was going to guess Palmers Green but that’s too far out. I can’t think of many zone 2 places that are recently gentrified? Um… Hackney?!

Most areas have the same. Soon you won't worry as presumably you kids will go to local comprehensive and youll be free of the school gate

I'm.not sure it's just london, I thought mumsnet was obsessed with private school etc

Yep!

I live between Camberwell/Herne Hill - I can honestly say I haven’t had a single conversation about house prices or schools outside the school gate.

We talk about kids’ hobbies, what people are up to at the weekend, holiday plans. Light chitchat. Occasionally homework, school plays, etc. House prices would be an incredibly insensitive topic when half the parents are in rentals.

Schools I guess might change in Y5 or whenever you apply (the nursery parents sent up a separate WhatsApp group to avoid boring parents with younger kids).

Belsize Park/Hampstead/Primrose Hill.

ah ok

Well one way to look at it is if you stay, they’ll move at secondary and you can be surrounded by people not focussing on this

Stoke Newington is my guess.

I live abroad now but it is/was the same in Essex, Hertfordshire, Surrey plus also Cornwall and Norfolk, where I have many friends and relatives.

I get it op. It’s boring and hypocritical.

It’s a uk-wide obsession. Dull dull dull.

You’ve guessed well!

That’s a good point that I hadn’t thought of!