“Nice” London areas where parents do nothing but obsess about schools and house prices. Where can I escape this?

[Ohhiho]

I live in an area that has “come up” in the 15+ years I’ve been there. By “come up”, I mean become absurdly and stupidly expensive, and wealthy families (ones who have benefitted from the bank of mum and dad usually) have moved in.

People I had things in common with moved out, new people moved in, and now all my kids’ friends’ parents talk about when I’m standing around at the school gate or watching football lessons, is where their children will go to secondary school (Ie: where the parents are planning to move to because the local one has poor people that go to it - i’m guessing this is their problem because the results are fine) and house prices.

These people are obsessed. It’s really depressing.

I am probably being unreasonable. But it feels quite lonely not connecting with the people who I live among anymore. They’re rich people who went to private school themselves, but don’t want to pay for their kids if they can get away with it, pretend they’re liberal but move to get their kids into an outstanding state primary school and are now agitated that the secondary isn’t outstanding and planning to move next to an outstanding state secondary / tutor their kids to the extreme to get into a grammar that’s heavily oversubscribed / remortgage to get their kids into private school.

Am I the only one who has noticed this London obsession and is exhausted by it?!

I dream of taking myself and my kids (and my partner!) and finding a nice wholesome life somewhere, one without Roblox and pushy, exam-obsessed parents. AIBU?

Move to Plumstead

Next time, dryly remind them that any increases will be swallowed up when it comes to pay for their care homes and their kids will get nothing.

@Thepeopleversuswork we would have left if it wasn't for family tbh.

@renonovice lol the diversity thing irritates me too! There's a lot of snobbery between areas. I worked with a girl who thought she was the dogs bollocks because she bought a flat in a tower block (in clerkenwell with a huge deposit from mummy and daddy). She looked down her nose at me because I lived in what she perceived to be a boring area. She'd say all this rubbish about diversity etc but I don't think she ever spoke to anyone e who wasn't a) a Londoner b) white c) privately educated d) professional. She's gone and had a child now and 'surprisingly' it will ok be going to the local school..

People that talk about house prices and where to send their kids to school are not wealthy. They are the people pretending to be wealthy but they aren’t. They are trying to outdo each other in a very passive aggressive way and prove how much money they have (probably not that much)

Without sounding like a complete upper class twit, I live in a very wealthy area and none of us discuss house prices, where the kids go to school or anything else to do with money. It is not the done thing.

Reverse snobbism, London bashing,

..yawn.

It's no better than "where can I live where people don't talk about Love Island while scratching their arse and having a fag at the school gates".

People are not a generic group. If you don't like someone don't talk to them. Making assumptions on the basis of someone's postcode is a bit silly. And moving house on the expectation of it is bonkers.

SPOT ON. This is entirely correct.

I’m in a nice part of greater Manchester and it’s def not like that up here. I don’t know of anyone planning to move to get their kids into a different high school. Most/all are just hoping their kids gets into the local (perfectly ok but def nothing special) comp.
Also people near me seem to be very settled, bought their “forever home”
in their late 30s and no intention of moving ever again.

@TaraRhu my favourite is when they adopt the estate agent made up name for their area 😆 And yes I definitely think some of my neighbours haven't encountered many people who aren't the same as them, my street is 95% white now whereas when I was young 95% were 2nd gen immigrants like me.

I would also agree with this. Wealthy people don't have these concerns

Well yes because people this wealthy don't need to bestir themselves to worry about educating their children or their future financial security.

I think openly bragging at dinner parties about house prices and school admissions is tacky but the reality is most people who don't inherit a shit load of money have to think about these things at some level if they want the best for their children.

I'm not sure if this is how it was intended but your post comes across as crowing about how hoi polloi it is to have to worry about house prices and schools. Most people who don't have independent wealth have to do this and this comes across as pretty snobbish.

I live in the same place and I don’t think I have ever had those conversations and we are buying a new house 😅
maybe it’s the parents you associate with ?

Without sounding like a complete upper class twit, I live in a very wealthy area and none of us discuss house prices, where the kids go to school or anything else to do with money. It is not the done thing.

Nope, you sound like a twit!

Another note where are all these grammar schools they are sending their kids to ??

Sutton/Kingston/Kent borders. Don't know re N.London

Then they are the comprehensives that have select places based on scores so a bit grammar like.

We lived in a commuter town west of London OP, and it was just how you describe. Constant comparisons, one upmanship and thinly veiled competitiveness.

We moved to a town further southwest and its far better. Local comps are all good and everyone seems a lot more chilled about avoiding things like tutoring, holiday courses, expensive activities etc.

Yep, I grew up in an area like that. I left as soon as I was able. There is definitely a bubble down here

@renonovice thats fine, I can live with it.

@Thepeopleversuswork i completely agree with you that when it is in the context of a serious conversation with friends about concerns over the cost of housing and what the best local school is, it’s valid as it’s a genuine worry/concern.

I assumed op was talking about the weird bragging that happens with these types of conversations within certain groups.

Yawn. You are not better than other people, and you still live in a pretentious part of London, even if you are too “woke” to care about your children’s education. HTH.

Ducks I imagine, though Carrie might be an Alleyns yummy mummy wannabe. But no, we live over the other side of Ruskin Park so the only discussion I’ve had about Boris is whether it would be ok to encourage DS to “accidentally” ram him with his balance bike

Hi neighbour!
We call them Church Streeters 😂
Lots are okay though. Lots of people don't talk about it at all. Most schools are pretty mixed, so there will be other types of parents to talk to about things other than house prices and schools. School talk will come up with anybody with children in certain year groups though.

Way harsh. Maybe they're just making small talk while they try to get to know you. Try introducing another topic of conversation. They might be relieved to talk about something else as well

i don't want to agree with this, but actually thinking about it I can see there's truth in it.

But living in one of the areas mentioned, it's also true that the people moving in are, by dint of the insane rise in property prices, not the liberal-left-guardian-as-was-reading teachers and journalists who moved in with me twenty years ago, but much more 'business-y'. The companies they work for are 'creative' in the sense that they don;t sell propane and propane accessories (KOTH ref) - but they aren't really any different from ICI as it was in the late C20. They earn a lot more, taking inflation into account, than my cohort do, and they don't have any politics at all as far as I can see beyone a vague interest in self-expression and identity politics.

I mention politics because that was always part of what attracted people to my area - it wasn't like Clapham / West London in that the incomers shared vaguely liberal-left values.