My Husband and kids forgot my Birthday

[NowYouTellMe]

Feeling disappointed that my Husband and teenage to adult kids forgot my Birthday.

Well, exactly.

Of course they should remember but OP knows they forgot last year - so why set herself up for another year of misery when she can do something different? I don't get it.

@whataboutsecondbreakfast personally if my DH didn't remember my birthday I'd divorce the disrespective cunt!

But I guess some have lower standards than others?

With these threads I always start off feeling sorry for the OP then quite quickly lose sympathy.

Why?

Don't you talk to one another? I mean come on, how can you not mention it the week before? Shall we go out for tea on x day? I don't understand? I come from a family who aren't big on bdays after childhood but we don't forget, even if there isn't a huge celebration. Don't you make jokes about getting old in the lead up? I really am surprised. If you've ever made a moonpig card it reminds you every year too 🤣.

Whereas I think that's such a huge overreaction - it's just one day.

I care more about how he treats me all year round than whether he goes all out once a year.

There’s a third choice… She reads them the riot act today enough so that they take notice and do something about it.

What the actual fuck? Churlish? Is this post a wind-up? It is NOT up to OP to remind them. I presume her husband is a grown man. And those of you excusing teenagers, stop excusing them because most teenagers have a handy little device called a Smartphone that has this clever little thing called a calendar. Use it.

If they forgot last year, you shouldn’t have let them hear the last of it! I would have been mercilessly ripping the piss out of them on a daily basis so they wouldn’t have a chance to forget this year. Don’t put up with it. Sounds like a little part of you wanted them to forget again so you could be a massive martyr about it.

I'd be really interested to know how many respondents do in fact mention their own birthday in passing in the run up to it, and therefore have no actual idea if theirs would be remembered otherwise.

There's all this 'why should OP remind them' which is valid of course, but don't most of us remind our loved ones by default anyway, just by making or mentioning plans, or having general conversations?

We all forgot my mums birthday one autumn. She told us on Christmas day..

You need to remind them. I forget my own birthday, let alone anyone else's.

Happy birthday!!!!🧁🍬🍦🎂🍭🥂

I know you're hurt. You likely do everything for everyone. So, Do something special for yourself. 💛

@whataboutsecondbreakfast just one day and he can't manage a card......

Such fucking low standards

What do you really think he's like the other 364 days a year? Caring and sharing or a self centred fecker but he doesn't have affairs or abuse her, so that's just fine?

Honestly, you need to gain more self respect, a man that can't set a reminder on his phone (or is that his wife's job?) is totally pathetic.

But you do you!

I mean, she could, but it's not a path I would choose. It's one day. I would rather just speak up in advance than pull out the dramatics over it.

But then again, I nearly forgot my own birthday this year so maybe I'm not the person to be asking

How? How did you "all" forget?

Honestly shocking!

Again I am astounded by the lowest bar that some women seem to set themselves. Thankfully I wouldn't put up with that shit and have a husband that actually thinks about this sort of thing ALL BY HIMSELF without me or the kids having to help him out a bit..

well the last few years my DH has reminded me about my birthday (there’s been a lot going on).
He generally makes sure he has my birthday off from work (he has to pick his dates in Oct for the next year).

Forget all their birthday this year too..

Seriously tho. I've never forgot important birthdays since I was a kid. It's not difficult to at least say happy birthday to someone.

@whataboutsecondbreakfast who said anything about "all out", I think a card is sufficient?

The passivity. The willingness to be a martyr.

Whereas I think a card from someone you're married to, live with and see every single day is just a waste of money lol. We're all different.

OP has also said they haven't exchanged gifts between them for years anyway so it's hardly as though birthdays are a big deal in her house anyway - so given that, I think if she wants a big deal making, she needs to be clear about it in advance.

I really don't need more self respect thanks 😂

I'm more than happy to share my life with someone who doesn't waste money on cards 😉

Lots of justified outrage here. But, fighting about it won't help...

OP, it's still early. Tell dh you have to pop out for a bit. Either take yourself out for dinner or pop into the shop for single-serve champers, ONE cupcake and take away for one. Return home and set up your lovely meal and don't say a word. Then take a long hot bath and go to bed. 💛

Different people put different values on birthdays
I was brought up with a fiver in a card when I got home from school no fuss literally just another day
more than happy with this and I never get the fuss round birthdays
sounds your lot are like this
tbh one less thing to stress about it I’d downgrade there birthdays it’s not important to them