My Husband and kids forgot my Birthday

[NowYouTellMe]

Feeling disappointed that my Husband and teenage to adult kids forgot my Birthday.

I did just that

I wouldn't do any birthdays next year if it were me. Ffs I dont need to remind my 15yr or 10yr old, they have it in their calendars with a week before reminder.

Shit behaviour from everyone.

I agree with this.

You must have a similar issue if you feel the need to mention your impending birthday; it shouldn’t be necessary to remind adults

@AltheaVestr1t

never ceases to amaze me how some people can make anything the woman’s fault

get . A. Grip.

@UsingChangeofName
@Hibye23289

Or

her family could think of someone else besides themselves for a change !

never ceases to amaze me how some people can make literally anything the woman’s fault and locate all the blame within the mother. And completely absolve hapless husbands and kids of any accountability at all

@Railwayroad

always one on mumsnet who takes the view that over the age of 18 birthdays are silly and self indulgent

nah!

such a Martyr like attitude

Dh and I have already started planning my birthday and it’s in March. I can’t be bothered setting dh up to fail by making him guess what I want to do each year. He would never ever forget though. I just said “for my birthday this year can we go to London for a night and do x and y with the dc?”

I just think your relationship is strange to me if you don’t have conversations about special dates and plan for them. If he forgot last year then you had choices this year.

1. Preempt it and talk about plans
2. decide you don’t care
3. get a better husband and divorce this one

you went for number 2, got the same result as last year and moan. So what’s the plan for next year? Are you staying with him? I personally wouldn’t but only you know how you feel. I think you deserve better.

@Railwayroad its so sad you’ve missed out on the excitement of a birthday in adulthood. I love my birthday and have a lovely family who make it special. It’s completely fair for those who don’t get that to feel sad.

Gosh, you spend a quarter of a year planning your birthday? No wonder no-one can forget it!

Rather less than a quarter, only 2 months, my apologies

You must have a similar issue if you feel the need to mention your impending birthday; it shouldn’t be necessary to remind adults

I don't have any issues.
My dc do get me things for my birthday.
However, we tend to get together in some way for each of our birthdays. In order to get together, we have to get diaries out, and speak to each other, to arrange maybe a meal or a take away or some other sort of get together.
But we also have a family tradition of making a birthday cake when it is each of our birthdays - it happened for me and dh as well as the dc. It was just part of growing up, the idea that everyone had a birthday and each birthday is celebrated. I don't need to remind them. I do however talk to my dc, and things like "What shift are you working at the weekend? / When is everyone free for a meal?" are just normal conversations about arrangements.

@NowYouTellMe not usually quite that long but I want to see a show in the west end so we need to book tickets as getting 5 tickets the week before would be rather unlikely. However, booking a meal and inviting friends or family would need some notice too.

Birthdays are meant to be fun. I'd rather remind people and enjoy myself than sitting their stewing over everyone forgetting. I think you are cutting off your nose to spite your face.

It's not a matter of reminding people; it's a matter of everyone in the family naturally discussing their lives and activities with one another. Yes, they should have remembered especially in these days of technology; but don't these things tend to come up automatically in conversation?

@ToWhitToWhoo yes @WhatDoesItSay and yes again! I agree and mentioned a similar comment

I know we're all different but all this trumpeting about reminding people of your birthday for a month before is pretty alien to me. If people remember that's great. If they remember because you've been nagging them, then it's pretty empty.

We're all different and have different values and things that make us happy.

@UsingChangeofName

not all families live close enough to have meals out for every birthday. So you may not have joint plans for the day. I would still expect my adult dc to remember and send me a card and present

@luckylavender

dont set the bar so low!

You deserve to be made a fuss of on your birthday just the same as anyone else!

don’t martyr yourself !

@WhatDoesItSay

i wouldn’t really wanna celebrate with husband and dc who couldn’t even be arsed to remember!

i would rather go out with my pals

especially if it’s the usual mumsnet trope of mum and dad paying for their dc for meals when said dc are in their thirties and earning 40k a year or whatever lol

@LuckySantangelo35 - everyone is different. Don't impose your views on others.

My husband and I have terrible memories so I wouldn't not remind husband , we talk about all our upcoming birthdays , have bad memories doesn't automatically mean they would think less of me if they forget so , if u know u husband forgets then its not a bad thing reminding him. I find not talking about it before hand to then moan about them forgetting a bit weird. If he forgot last year then u know its probably going to do same.

@LuckySantangelo35

not values as such

just a basic common sense thing - everyone deserves to have a bit of a fuss made of them on their birthday , whether you are 6 or 64.

cant see why would you dispute that?

@LuckySantangelo35 - and I genuinely don't understand why you can't see that everyone is different. Some people hate birthdays, others hate Christmas. Many more cringe at the thought of 'being made a fuss of'. It's very personal. And your 'being made a fuss of' and mine will be very very different.