Page 6 | Having a home spa/pampering afternoon & dh hints for a bit of the other

Unglamorousgranny · 2023-01-21T16:18:16+00:00

Indulging myself from head to toe pampering at home for the afternoon. Nice, luxury products & pure relaxation. Then dh interrupts dropping big hints for a bit of hanky panky, or at least a bj, while no one else is at home. He's a good dh, not selfish, works hard for the family etc. But even so wouldn't you be irritated by this, or am I just being a mardy cow? Should I feel guilty for hinting back that he should really read the room first?

Greyhave · 21/01/2023 20:25

Yes of course how dare a man try to have some spontaneous sexual activity with his wife. Best not to break the once a month lights off in bed routine!

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:25

Rockingcloggs · 21/01/2023 20:22

@BloodAndFire No. I actually have incredible sex with my husband, where we both feel able to ask from each other (not 'demand') anything we like! Sometimes, I'll give him a BJ before work, other times it'll be me that gets the pleasure. It's not mechanical tit for tat - you show me yours and I'll show you mine. And we don't have to have penetrative sex all the time! It's a lovely varied sex life we have!

That's great. I'm really happy for you. My husband and I have a similar relationship (17 years in and counting)

He would never behave like the op's husband, and she is right to not be bullied into it. I hope your husband wouldn't do that either.

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:26

Greyhave · 21/01/2023 20:25

Yes of course how dare a man try to have some spontaneous sexual activity with his wife. Best not to break the once a month lights off in bed routine!

Asking a woman to suck you off while she's enjoying something else and then sulking isn't sexy.

And the alternative isn't once a month with the lights off.

If the op had wanted it, she'd have done it, not posted here for support.

Nanny0gg · 21/01/2023 20:28

Unglamorousgranny · 21/01/2023 16:41

@VioletaDelValle & @melj1213 we have lots of child free time to indulge. We're late 50's, both adult dc have left home, except for the fact that one of them is back for a week's visit. After that, & before that, it's just the two of us again.
Maybe I'm being a bit frigid, middle aged & a spoilsport & should apologise for it

You clearly weren't in the mood. Why should you feel guilty?

And why use 'frigid? That is such a pejorative word.

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:29

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:23

Forgive me for not thinking that a 50+ year old man who interrupts his wife having a rare moment of relaxation not to offer her sex, but to demand that she sucks his dick, and then sulking when she doesn't, isn't a prince among men, or paying her a compliment.

Raise your bar if you think it is.

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You are on a wind up, are you😂

He didn't demand, he hinted at sex or at least bj, asked, left it at that. Yeah, "bit" sulky bit isn't great, but really doesn't deserve thread descending into mentions of bestiality and fruit fucking😂
This is like that gossip people who see someone fart, but for extra drama they re-tell it as the person shut themselves and smeared it on local school😂

Happily married over a decade, my bar was high hence why I am not a miserable fucker...

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:29

She posted this thread because she was made to feel guilty for doing something that made her feel better, instead of immediately getting on her knees to serve her husband's sexual demands. It's pretty shit that other women are taking the piss out of her for that, or suggesting that she was wrong not to immediately stop what she was doing so he could get a blow job.

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:30

Greyhave · 21/01/2023 20:25

Yes of course how dare a man try to have some spontaneous sexual activity with his wife. Best not to break the once a month lights off in bed routine!

Don't forget the long robe like pjs with holes in places. Wouldn't want some touching either 😂

LlynTegid · 21/01/2023 20:32

There is of course one time when you can guarantee neither of you will be disturbed. If Hermes aka Evri say they will be delivering at a certain time.

No is a complete sentence.

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:32

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:29

She posted this thread because she was made to feel guilty for doing something that made her feel better, instead of immediately getting on her knees to serve her husband's sexual demands. It's pretty shit that other women are taking the piss out of her for that, or suggesting that she was wrong not to immediately stop what she was doing so he could get a blow job.

No one said she was wrong and the only piss taking is aimed at your ridiculous posts before

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:32

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:29

You are on a wind up, are you😂

He didn't demand, he hinted at sex or at least bj, asked, left it at that. Yeah, "bit" sulky bit isn't great, but really doesn't deserve thread descending into mentions of bestiality and fruit fucking😂
This is like that gossip people who see someone fart, but for extra drama they re-tell it as the person shut themselves and smeared it on local school😂

Happily married over a decade, my bar was high hence why I am not a miserable fucker...

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I've been happily married for 17 years, still fancy the arse off my husband and fuck him whenever i get the opportunity.

wouldn't do if he demanded I stop doing something I was enjoying to suck his dick and then sulked

Op has been made to feel bad already by her wanker husband, it would be nice if other women weren't reinforcing his shitty misogynist perspective.

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:33

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:32

No one said she was wrong and the only piss taking is aimed at your ridiculous posts before

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Loads of people have implied that she was in the wrong. It's a shitty way to respond to a woman asking for support

DietCock · 21/01/2023 20:34

NeverDropYourMooncup · 21/01/2023 18:10

Is that something else I'm not allowed to do because I'm 'too old' for it?

Fuck's sake.

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😂

Just what I was thinking.

WeWereInParis · 21/01/2023 20:37

wouldn't do if he demanded I stop doing something I was enjoying to suck his dick and then sulked

You keep saying demanded, which is a massive stretch from the hints OP referred to.

Obviously of course sulking over it is not ok.

Justalittlebitduckling · 21/01/2023 20:37

No harm in asking!

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:42

WeWereInParis · 21/01/2023 20:37

wouldn't do if he demanded I stop doing something I was enjoying to suck his dick and then sulked

You keep saying demanded, which is a massive stretch from the hints OP referred to.

Obviously of course sulking over it is not ok.

She says in her own words that he's made her feel frigid, guilty, middle aged and a spoil sport.

All direct quotes

She says

But it was my one free afternoon in ages to have my home spa afternoon. Plenty of time at night when we've gone to bed for a bit of the other. Maybe I'm just being selfish myself

none of that suggests that they don't have a good sex life or that she always says no. Just that she wanted this one very rare free afternoon to do a bit of self-care.

she had planned it for ages and now it's been ruined because she feels guilty and bad.

I don't think that posts on here taking the piss out of her or suggesting she only has sex once a month with the lights off are in any way supportive or empathetic.

Sulking because your partner won't suck your dick isn't ok.

ChatSamosa · 21/01/2023 20:44

Greyhave · 21/01/2023 20:22

I don’t think the average bloke is up for a blow from anyone, not in my experience anyway. Maybe those who think that way need to reevaluate the type of men they allow into their lives.

What is all this?

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:48

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:42

She says in her own words that he's made her feel frigid, guilty, middle aged and a spoil sport.

All direct quotes

She says

But it was my one free afternoon in ages to have my home spa afternoon. Plenty of time at night when we've gone to bed for a bit of the other. Maybe I'm just being selfish myself

none of that suggests that they don't have a good sex life or that she always says no. Just that she wanted this one very rare free afternoon to do a bit of self-care.

she had planned it for ages and now it's been ruined because she feels guilty and bad.

I don't think that posts on here taking the piss out of her or suggesting she only has sex once a month with the lights off are in any way supportive or empathetic.

Sulking because your partner won't suck your dick isn't ok.

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1- op didn't in any way said HE made her feel fridgid etc. She felt that way but did not say he said anything in that matter.

That once a month was aimed at you because of your ridiculous posts, not op, you do know that, right?

She didn't say she planned it for ages, just didn't have one for ages.

It's ok to ask, it's ok to say no. That is what people are saying.

You are really really good in adding bits to a story or you have serious reading comprehensive issues.

DietCock · 21/01/2023 20:48

What I find interesting is those who are saying that the OP's husband has "made her feel" frigid/guiltyboring/whatever. IME, women of the OP's age (also my age) have been at least to some extent conditioned to feel this way. So even if her husband had just shrugged and said "fine", she'd still be feeling guilty/frigid/etc. So I wouldn't entirely blame her husband - more many years of conditioning. From the perspective of age, I'd say that it was fine for him to ask, it's fine for OP to say no, and the best thing for both of them is to move o and forget it happened. Long marriages have much bigger challenges than this, and it's not worth losing any sleep over it. Neither party is wrong, but both need to move on.

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:49

*comprehension damn it

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:52

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:48

1- op didn't in any way said HE made her feel fridgid etc. She felt that way but did not say he said anything in that matter.

That once a month was aimed at you because of your ridiculous posts, not op, you do know that, right?

She didn't say she planned it for ages, just didn't have one for ages.

It's ok to ask, it's ok to say no. That is what people are saying.

You are really really good in adding bits to a story or you have serious reading comprehensive issues.

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op didn't in any way said HE made her feel fridgid etc. She felt that way but did not say he said anything in that matter.

Er, yes she did:

well I feel guilty now so his response has clearly had the desired affect - almost

It's not me who has reading comprehensive [sic] issues here.

Forgooodnesssakenow · 21/01/2023 20:54

Unglamorousgranny · 21/01/2023 16:41

@VioletaDelValle & @melj1213 we have lots of child free time to indulge. We're late 50's, both adult dc have left home, except for the fact that one of them is back for a week's visit. After that, & before that, it's just the two of us again.
Maybe I'm being a bit frigid, middle aged & a spoilsport & should apologise for it

Absolutely not, he can ask, you can say no, he should then go about his business

Cocobutt · 21/01/2023 20:55

Yes of course how dare a man try to have some spontaneous sexual activity with his wife. Best not to break the once a month lights off in bed routine!

Why didn’t he give OP oral sex instead then if he wanted sexual activity?

I can’t think of anything more selfish than someone wanting oral sex without even attempting to give their partner pleasure.

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:55

Yeah. Just keep on with it.

I am going to check for suspicious holes in my fruit. You know, can't trust them penis havers around it!

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 20:56

Applesandcarrots · 21/01/2023 20:48

1- op didn't in any way said HE made her feel fridgid etc. She felt that way but did not say he said anything in that matter.

That once a month was aimed at you because of your ridiculous posts, not op, you do know that, right?

She didn't say she planned it for ages, just didn't have one for ages.

It's ok to ask, it's ok to say no. That is what people are saying.

You are really really good in adding bits to a story or you have serious reading comprehensive issues.

Show quote history

That once a month was aimed at you because of your ridiculous posts, not op, you do know that, right?

so because I was posting in support of the op and telling her she didn't need to feel guilty, frigid, selfish etc. for not stopping what she was doing to suck her husband's dick, you think it's OK to try to denigrate me by saying I don't have sex often enough?

say it was true - would that be OK as an insult? An OK way for women to speak to each other?

BloodAndFire · 21/01/2023 21:03

DietCock · 21/01/2023 20:48

What I find interesting is those who are saying that the OP's husband has "made her feel" frigid/guiltyboring/whatever. IME, women of the OP's age (also my age) have been at least to some extent conditioned to feel this way. So even if her husband had just shrugged and said "fine", she'd still be feeling guilty/frigid/etc. So I wouldn't entirely blame her husband - more many years of conditioning. From the perspective of age, I'd say that it was fine for him to ask, it's fine for OP to say no, and the best thing for both of them is to move o and forget it happened. Long marriages have much bigger challenges than this, and it's not worth losing any sleep over it. Neither party is wrong, but both need to move on.

Agreed, women are socialised to think that men's sexual impulses are the most important thing in the world, that an erection is a compliment, and they should stop whatever they're doing to service his 'needs'.

Other women backing him up and implying that she must not really fancy him, or that she's a failure for not taking him up on the offer, are just playing into this conditioning.

Asking for a blow job isn't a sign of love or attraction or intimacy.