AIBU to carry on ‘white’ lie about crispy aromatic duck to the DC?

[KellyJs]

If you’re looking for a thought provoking thread this isn’t it, but I am not sure what to do and looking for outside help, as my family just laugh when I try and ask them for advice.

I love a Chinese takeaway, part of the order (as is most peoples right?!) is a 1/4 crispy aromatic duck. DH had pet ducks growing up, and when I first ordered a Chinese takeaway in the early days of our relationship he got quite upset about the duck (he had never had a Chinese before) and refused to eat it.

So ever since then when I’ve ordered a Chinese for myself I’ve told a white lie that my starter is actually crispy pork, and that I took on his feedback re the duck being upsetting for him. He doesn’t eat the pork/duck so I’m not lying to him about something he consumes, but to avoid the unnecessary hurt I thought it was a harmless white lie at the time.

This has now been going on for 12 years, my family are involved, as when we order as a group they all keep up the pretence it’s pork.

However, I’m not sure what to do now DC are at an age they participate in family takeaway nights.

Do I keep up the lie, and tell them it’s pork, as if I tell them the truth one of them will blab to their dad, and my whole porky palace of lies will crumble around me.

I know I’m unreasonable for letting it get this far, but I can’t go back in time.

So AIBU to also lie to the children about the duck?

YABU - you need to come clean to everyone involved

YANBU - it’s to late now, keep lying until you die

Yeah we dont use simple anymore.

There are lots of fully grown adults who get upset about the dog meat trade across the world because they have dogs themselves.

Are they also weird?

The point went right over your head there

Who is talking about writing about anything on another forum?

This is the only online forum I use.

OP, I'm not going to make horrible comments about him being wet and sheltered because quite frankly its nobody's business how you have pulled it off.

You sound nice, trying to avoid something you know upsets him

Two choices. Tell him or dont but I dont think you should get your kids to collude.

Ps, I want a pet duck.

This is it, at the time I panicked and lied, then when the relationship developed and I then found out more about why ducks are so important to him I had already gone too far and couldn’t think of a way out.

I was 19, in my first proper relationship so when he asked about the meat the second time I ordered a Chinese i panicked and said oh no it’s pork.

Of course in hindsight it would have been better for me to fess up I’d lied for 2 years once I knew about how big a thing this is for him, but I was 21 and stupid, thought I’d lied too much already, now we are 12 years down the line and I regret not being honest at the time, but definitely feel 12 years is too far down the rabbit hole, so to speak

Yeah sorry

It's not him being upset by the concept of eating duck that is weird.

It's (a) you telling him such a ridiculous lie and (b) him apparently believing it.

It never occurred to me for a moment that you were talking about a grown adult in that post.

Ignore the posters who have to pile in and turn it into husband bashing OP, its a wonder you’ve not been told to start divorce proceeding, that’s the usual trend on here.
Do you think if you told him now he would maybe just laugh about it, it’s such a simple thing and I can’t imagine anyone being particularly annoyed to hear the truth.
If it really would offend him just swap to Indian take away instead and let the whole saga die a natural death, they’re much tastier anyway 😊

Absolutely this. It's a bit hypocritical to be happy with eating everything but animals you see as "pets".

If I told him now he would be really upset. Which is why it’s hard, if he was annoyed or angry I could deal with that. But he would be upset, hurt and those are all the things I’ve been trying to avoid by continuing this lie in the first place.

If anything I’d prefer if he was the type to get angry and shout, but he would be upset and I’m not sure I could knowingly upset him, even though I know realistically he might need to or will find out at some point.

The money I’d give for a Time Machine.

But you could have simply stopped eating it or changed your order

for me I would forgive the lie and understand that you didn’t know. It’s the fact that now you do know and understand why it is important that eating it is more important that anything else

DD is a vegan who loves pigs. She understands that she cannot force anyone else to be vegan I understand that pigs are her absolute favourite so because we love her as parents we don’t eat pork.

So do I and I also want to watch the duck/rabbit episode of Friends again.

Our linden Chinese takeaway does Crispy Lamb in this style. Hopefully not so unusual that it would give away my location.
Ask the restaurant to make you crispy pork in that style. They'll charge extra, but it would be very tasty and then the lie becomes truth.

Don’t own up to the lies.
Say the menu has changed.
They have discontinued the pork and now only do duck.
Sorry DH, what is the world coming to, it’s not as nice as the pork but it’s still delish, etc etc

ROFL @ "porky palace of lies"

Fucking hell sime people make life harder for themselves than it already is.

*some people sorry

I agree.

Ours In Kent also do Lamb

Well in that case I’d just knock the Chinese takeaways on the head completely, just say you’ve gone off it, or that you’ve heard a rumour that the place isn’t kept clean. I’d certainly stop the fib in its tracks as of today.
The less it’s mentioned the sooner the whole thing will fade away.

I have nothing whatsoever to add about this other than I want to ask why they never give you enough pancakes with Crispy Duck.

Doesn’t DH ever see the bill?

🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😭

Is that how I met your mother. Or do both have one