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Original poster

Do I show woman pictures of her husband on tinder?

154 replies

Northwestsouth · 21/01/2023 12:00

I matched with a guy and found him on tinder. I changed my pictures to his from Facebook (it was 1am lol) and let it unfold…

he denied it was him lol. He said he’s been single since 4 years and also when I mentioned his wife’s name, he claimed he didn’t know her. They have the same surname… been together since teens.

we didn’t meet up so I don’t know if I should let it be….

OP posts:
BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:15

I’m not sure why people are so shocked that someone online dating do this kind of “due diligence” in men they are potentially going to meet up with. It’s common sense and helps improve your safety. And it weeds out pricks like this one.

op did the picture thing to see what his reaction would be. Probably for a laugh after a few drinks (it was 1am) and probably being quite jaded and cynical after a period of time uncovering lying shits like this many times before. Sure she could’ve just blocked him but instead she thought she’d give him a little fright. I might have done the same.

I really don’t see that’s so odd about it, or hard to understand unless you’re being purposely obtuse.

Gymtok · 21/01/2023 13:16

This is the weirdest thing I've ever read on here.

ReneBumsWombats · 21/01/2023 13:16

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:15

I’m not sure why people are so shocked that someone online dating do this kind of “due diligence” in men they are potentially going to meet up with. It’s common sense and helps improve your safety. And it weeds out pricks like this one.

op did the picture thing to see what his reaction would be. Probably for a laugh after a few drinks (it was 1am) and probably being quite jaded and cynical after a period of time uncovering lying shits like this many times before. Sure she could’ve just blocked him but instead she thought she’d give him a little fright. I might have done the same.

I really don’t see that’s so odd about it, or hard to understand unless you’re being purposely obtuse.

There's nothing very odd about checking him out. Stealing his photos, playing stupid mind games with them and considering tracking down his wife?

He's a total stranger!

ExtraOnions · 21/01/2023 13:16

Ba-boosh-ka

Colderthanever · 21/01/2023 13:17

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:15

I’m not sure why people are so shocked that someone online dating do this kind of “due diligence” in men they are potentially going to meet up with. It’s common sense and helps improve your safety. And it weeds out pricks like this one.

op did the picture thing to see what his reaction would be. Probably for a laugh after a few drinks (it was 1am) and probably being quite jaded and cynical after a period of time uncovering lying shits like this many times before. Sure she could’ve just blocked him but instead she thought she’d give him a little fright. I might have done the same.

I really don’t see that’s so odd about it, or hard to understand unless you’re being purposely obtuse.

Seriously? No one has an issue with the due, diligence. Everyone has an issue with changing her profile pics to his.

if you in Any way think this is a normal or reasonable thing to do. I suggest you read the responses and Realise you also might not be behaving in a healthy manner

QueSyrahSyrah · 21/01/2023 13:17

OP, it's not the 'due diligence' that's in question. Yes, you're right everyone online dating does some social media snooping as a precaution, totally normal.

Where you veer wildly off-piste is stealing his pictures and putting them on your own profile. That's what nobody understands, because it's batshit crazy and achieved nothing that simply un-matching him wouldn't have achieved (except a great number of people now thing you're bat-shit crazy, assuming presumably him).

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:17

maddy68 · 21/01/2023 13:10

Another that thinks you're shit stirring and probably drunk if you are doing it at 1am.

Put the wine down. Forget about it. Non of your business

How is it “none of her business” if he’s chatting to her on hook up app with a view to meeting up. It very much is her business if he’s married!

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 21/01/2023 13:19

You seem nice !!

ReneBumsWombats · 21/01/2023 13:19

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:17

How is it “none of her business” if he’s chatting to her on hook up app with a view to meeting up. It very much is her business if he’s married!

Show quote history

His marriage isn't her business at all! Nothing about him is! He's a complete stranger!

Her duty is to decline to talk to him further and possibly tell him why. That's all any normal person would do.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:19

Colderthanever · 21/01/2023 13:17

Seriously? No one has an issue with the due, diligence. Everyone has an issue with changing her profile pics to his.

if you in Any way think this is a normal or reasonable thing to do. I suggest you read the responses and Realise you also might not be behaving in a healthy manner

Show quote history

Well I haven’t been online dating for ten years do you can stop worrying about me thanks.

she just thought she’d give a lying cheat a little fright that he’d been caught out. I can’t get het up about that sorry 🤷‍♀️

nutherwun · 21/01/2023 13:20

How would you be able to let his wife know though @Northwestsouth ? Is she on FB?

nc1013 · 21/01/2023 13:20

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:15

I’m not sure why people are so shocked that someone online dating do this kind of “due diligence” in men they are potentially going to meet up with. It’s common sense and helps improve your safety. And it weeds out pricks like this one.

op did the picture thing to see what his reaction would be. Probably for a laugh after a few drinks (it was 1am) and probably being quite jaded and cynical after a period of time uncovering lying shits like this many times before. Sure she could’ve just blocked him but instead she thought she’d give him a little fright. I might have done the same.

I really don’t see that’s so odd about it, or hard to understand unless you’re being purposely obtuse.

100% this. It becomes very weary and disheartening....it's probably the final straw in a long line of men treating OP like shit online.

What gives men the right to go online and waste everyone's a time pretending to be single. Yes she could block him and move on but why should we accept being treated like this

If it was my DH I would want to know. For all the PPs saying we have no idea what was going on in his marriage that's very true. However, if it's an open marriage surely the wife would shrug it off and move on - no harm done.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 21/01/2023 13:20

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 21/01/2023 13:19

You seem nice !!

Sorry, that comment was meant for the OP - don’t know how your post got quoted. Apologies.

thisusernameisnotavailablepleasetryanother · 21/01/2023 13:20

Why didn't you just unmatch and carry on with your day?
You sound unhinged OP. Going on like you're some kind of honeytrapper. Get a grip nutter

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:20

I agree I wouldn’t tell the wife. But that’s not what you were getting het up about

JoyPeaceHealth · 21/01/2023 13:21

I say fair play to you for discovering but he'll just be more careful now.
You can never make a shabby player feel bad he's not a better man though.
Just say bye now, i don't chat to married men

NocturnalClocks · 21/01/2023 13:22

Going against the grain, I think this is hilarious! Must have given him a nasty shock. Serves him right, cheating scumbag.

CornishTiger · 21/01/2023 13:22

This is brilliant calling him out. Rough location? Just so my friends can avoid James.

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:23

ReneBumsWombats · 21/01/2023 13:19

His marriage isn't her business at all! Nothing about him is! He's a complete stranger!

Her duty is to decline to talk to him further and possibly tell him why. That's all any normal person would do.

Show quote history

“Duty”? 🙄

I imagine she’s quite tired of being the good little girl doing her “duty” by cheating scumbag men. Just my take in it.

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 21/01/2023 13:23

I think you should mind your own business. It’s shit stirring. It might not even be him - you don’t sound sure if you’re mentioning weight loss and lighting in the photo.

TakeABite · 21/01/2023 13:24

WetBandits · 21/01/2023 13:12

That’s a very strange thing to do. Couldn’t you have just asked “are you married?”, or if you were absolutely determined to tell his wife, just send her the screenshots, no fuss or performance.

No need for this ridiculous game playing Confused

that Would be the obvious (& sane) thing to do!

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:24

@Lovelysausagedogscrumpy he said they were his pictures.

ReneBumsWombats · 21/01/2023 13:25

BitOutOfPractice · 21/01/2023 13:23

“Duty”? 🙄

I imagine she’s quite tired of being the good little girl doing her “duty” by cheating scumbag men. Just my take in it.

Show quote history

Oh, whatever you want to call it. Obligation, responsibility, whatever. The point is, if she thinks he's married then all she has to do is stay away from him. He's a total stranger. It's just deranged to start stealing photos, playing games and hunting down wives. She doesn't even know if his account is really him. He's an Internet stranger!

HolibobsinApril · 21/01/2023 13:25

Are you on glue?

nc1013 · 21/01/2023 13:25

Lovelysausagedogscrumpy · 21/01/2023 13:23

I think you should mind your own business. It’s shit stirring. It might not even be him - you don’t sound sure if you’re mentioning weight loss and lighting in the photo.

It is her business as he was on a dating app chatting to HER, wasting HER time.

He confirmed they were his photos