Teenage boys ruined my carpets - should I contact their parents?

[thecranberries]

My 16 yr old DC had a birthday party last night. About 40 teenagers attending. Fine. My DC is responsible as are her friends. I went out, obviously, and came back at 11.30pm.

I found a bunch of girls mopping my wooden floor and stone kitchen floor, two girls picking up clumps of mud, one girl vacuuming up mud (ruined my Dyson as mud was wet) and various other girls using towels to wipe down what they could.

My DC told me what boys had done: they'd gone into the garden beyond the decking, despite being told repeatedly not to do so. They went into my garden shed and took out garden spade, fork and rake and just dumped them into garden, leaving shed door open. They ruined my lawn. And they'd repeatedly gone in and out - they all wear those clumpy trainers - and just spread the mud. (It's been very wet recently).

After being told many times not to do so, she finally told all the boys to leave, and as they were doing so, some attempted to filch things from my home, so DC and a few other girls checked the boy's pockets before ejecting them.

All the girls responsible, well behaved, and considerate. All the boys - led by one especially - irresponsible, disrespectful, boarish, and the lead boy - simply kept laughing when asked to behave responsibly and not rile up the others.

So, AIBU to call the parents of the lead boy and tell them exactly what their DS is like? I have to pay for my carpets and rugs to be cleaned and spend my day deep cleaning my home from debris I had not factored in rather than just the normal tidy up.

I know my DC will be extremely embarrassed at my actions, ie calling the parents of lead boy - but at the same time, I am left with an unexpected bill and extra work at a particularly time-poor moment in my week.

Just for record, all boys come from 'nice' families, and go to very good state and private schools.

WWYD?

You’re enraged with someone else because YOUR kids got very drunk? Ok.

It was the DDs house, presumably the girls were her close friends, they had already kicked the boys out. I'm bemused by thus idea of the females being forced into servitude when there was literally nobody else there to clean it up. Also not shaping up well for their indentured career if they managed to break an expensive Dyson.

I expect if the party had taken place in a boys house, it would be the boys clearing up.

Clearly the OP has borrowed wee jimmy kranky’s line about how brilliant it is that (parts of) the uk allow child marriage and child soldiers. This shit is internationally frowned upon.

Sensible people recognise that teenagers, for all they think they know it all, simply are not yet able to properly anticipate the consequences of their actions.

Being ‘nearly’ an adult is most definitely not being an adult. Just like ‘nearly’ passing your driving test means you still aren’t allowed to drive a car. Or ‘nearly’ being able to afford to buy something means you don’t have enough money.

I think you’re right.

If it were the boys who’d tried to sneakily hold a big party when one or their parents thought it was a little one, you can bet they’d have been them mopping floors and trying to hide the evidence they hadn’t been entirely truthful from their parents.

They probably wouldn’t have managed to convince the mum in question that it was all the awful girls though. Not to somehow position themselves as victims of it and have the mum congratulating them on being so wonderful in carrying out pocket inspections to prevent theft.

To clarify, that’s not because boys are somehow more truthful or straightforward than girls (or whatever other stereotypical crap).

It’s just because the ‘we’re victims of horrible girls’ story would be an extremely hard sell. They’d be aware that no one would be falling for that.

They might make up different villains, of course. Awful, gatecrashing boys who don’t live in nice houses and go to the right schools (for example). But they’re not going to spin a girls v boys story. The stereotypes are against them.

To clarify, that’s not because boys are somehow more truthful or straightforward than girls (or whatever other stereotypical crap).

It’s just because the ‘we’re victims of horrible girls’ story would be an extremely hard sell. They’d be aware that no one would be falling for that.

They might make up different villains, of course. Awful, gatecrashing boys who don’t live in nice houses and go to the right schools (for example).

Mummy! It was terrible. These dreadful boys just turned up and walked on the lawn. We couldn’t stop them. They go to comprehensive school. And live in rented houses!

But they’re not going to spin a girls v boys story. The stereotypes are against them.

Sorry, but all those people saying ‘you left teenagers (or teenage boys) in your house, what did you expect!’. Well for one, fuking respect for someone else’s property. If this kind of behaviour doesn’t get called out now, it will likely escalate later in life to worse things. I’d be really fukin embarrassed and furious about this if he was my child. I know some will not be arsed, but why the hell should it be ‘chalked up to experience’ when it’s unacceptable behaviour. If I left 6 year olds in a room alone and some stuff got broken, fine, they don’t know better, teenagers do, or at least should. And unless it is made clear that it is unacceptable it will continue. It’s just like the ‘boys will be boys’ thing. No, that sh*t can lead to the current situation we find ourselves in now, of retrospectively trying to teach young men that their behaviour is not okay after ignoring it in their teenage years.

40 teenagers.

And the OP is being hyperbolic about the damage. It’s people walking on her grass rather than sticking to the deck. Leaving some stuff out the shed. And some mud on the carpet. Plus hard floors that can easily be mopped.

Apparently they stuck to the only being in 3 rooms and the garden bit of the regulations. Nothing is broken. There is mud on a rug and the grass will live.

The Dyson ruined by mud was from the cover up clean up attempt. She’s got no evidence of attempted theft except the claims of some teenage girls looking to minimise the amount of trouble they’re in.

Tbh, some people standing on the wet grass and a bit of mud on the floor don’t even sound like a dreadful outcome from a party with 40 adult guests.

Some bugger would spill red wine on your sofa.

Calm down dear.
Some boys got drunk and trod some mud on a carpet. It's hardly Clockwork Orange.

It’s not a boys will be boys thing either. I absolutely think the girls were also on the grass/in the shed etc.

40 teenagers of both sexes is likely to lead to silly behaviour. It’s only the op who wants it to be a boys v girls thing.

No it's the patriarchy that forced the girls to clean. No two ways about it.

40 teenagers + alcohol + plus teenage boys showing off for the girls = chaos!😳

After rearing two teenagers and having been around 5 teenage GC's, I would never leave 40 of them unsupervised.

You got off lightly - learn from it. 😉

Don't be ridiculous. It was a girl's home and she asked her friends to help her clear up. Friends which included boys.

a girl clearing up after her party in her home went wrong isn't down to the patriarchy.

The parents won't want to know They do n tcwant to risk getting landed with the bill for new carpets.

This.

I am wondering if this a made up post, no one in their right mind would leave 40 teens in their home
Also in my neck of the woods is just an expression meaning where you live
nothing to do with financial status or the countryside 🙄

😱 no. I can't agree. It has to be the patriarchy.

All the girls responsible, well behaved, and considerate.

A nd you know this.... how? Because that's what they told you??

Every male in attendance was wrecking your house and garden and attempting to steal. Doesn’t add up to me.“

this. The girls good, boys bad narrative is just wrong. In our personal experience, teenaged girls are very capable of bad behaviour.

Well fancy that, private school students not sitting nicely with a cup of tea and a piece of birthday cake.
Jolly poor form.
Maybe some boys from the local comp gatecrashed with their muddy clumpy trainers and caused the damage and blamed it on the toffs. The ruffians!

You sound entitled, your expensive private school has taught you that you can do what you want and when you want with no consequences. How lovely is that👏

Your own fault to expect that there wouldn't be mayhem. Be glad that there was no drug dealing or vomit from drunken antics.

Exactly! Totally agree 😦

Can someone give me a hint what was in the loony OP’s deleted post? I sense it might be quite funny!

It wasn't funny.

It was a load of victim blaming rape apology shite about how good sensible girls wouldn't get raped.