Family comes first surely ?

[Pinkchenille]

4 years ago my friend started a cleaning business. My mum was looking for a cleaner so I gave her my friends number . After 18 months or so she started to clean for my mums ndn too.

My mum has always had the opinion that if you want something you work for it so isn’t very forthcoming with helping out when I’ve struggled but my youngest is now in full time school so I wanted to work but I’ve not been able to for years due to some medical issues . I said to my mum would she consider letting me be her cleaner and as she has that kind of work ethic opinion mentioned above she was happy to do this as she would be helping me out but I wouldn’t be doing nothing in return.

she gave her cleaner (my friend) notice and I’ve now been cleaning for her a few weeks . Her ndn is one of her best friends as they’ve lived there for over 30 years and she had been talking to her and ndn has now given notice and asked me will i clean for her too (she’s aware of my medical issues and knows this will make throngs easier for me I’ve known her years and it was her suggestion)

My friend (well I’m not sure if she is anymore) has accused me of poaching her clients !!! But I’m not . They had given notice and yes I asked my mum but i didn’t approach her ndn. She’s says I shouldn’t have asked my mum but it’s my mum and surely family comes first especially given my circumstances 😞

Is you’re doing 2 hours a week at the neighbours house the neighbour must be paying under £10 an hour for it to be under £1k a year, which is under min wage as of April.

you have poached your friends clients and are no commuting benefit fraud. Stop trying to rely this and just the situation

It’s not benefit fraud you are allowed to get PIP and work

Yes, but make sure you can prove that if it HMRC come digging.

she has the rule that you work for money but I consider it a gift
Fantastic, do you think the rest of us can start doing this? 😀
Thank you payroll for 'gifting' me my salary, no need to deduct tax, NI etc! 😆

I can understand your Mum hiring you but I'm not surprised your friend is pissed off about the ndn. It's really cheeky of you to be charging the neighbour the same as your friend, she is much more experienced and presumably insured. It must be so frustrating for people like your friend having build up a business only to have someone 'trying it out' demand the same money. Be aware if you break anything or damage property in any way you will have to pay for it yourself as you don't have insurance.

Irrespective of your benefit claim you still HAVE to declare all income you receive from work. It is ILLEGAL not to do so even if you are earning too little to pay tax

But they’re not her family! Surely that’s not so hard to understand? She’s down two clients because of you setting up as a (smaller) rival enterprise. She’s not obliged to consider family obligations etc.

I understand your Mum having you as a cleaner. But if you've not properly explained why to your friend I'm not surprised she's not happy. It does come across as a shit thing to do to a friend.

How things are at the moment we are just trying to survive and with the limitations placed on me with medical conditions I’m just trying to do something I can manage to boost our weekly income enough to top up the electric and get a few food basics . It’s perfect for me as I don’t need to feel any embarrassment mostly due to my crohns if I need to rush to the toilet and if I need a longer break I can ask and it’s fine no explanation needed because I feel comfortable there

Your mum’s NDN is not your family though so if that’s your argument when it comes to taking your friend’s clients then YABU

She knows - she is fully aware of my problems she said we should have claimed UC instead of stealing her clients

I don't think you're necessarily wrong to use your contacts and compete with your friend in the same business, there's no rule saying you can't, and you need to look out for your own financial survival before your friend's.

But its silly to deny that you have done so, and you can't expect her to just automatically happily accept it.

Right so from this my opinion has changed , I see it as you've seen how well your friends business has gone and now sneakily starting your own up , getting your mum to employ you was easy , so now you will have your mum and her neighbour as references for when your insured and you take on more clients lol or maybe I just have a suspicious mind lol but yeah you poached and I reckon you knew full well what you were doing 😉

Your friend sounds like she’d set up a proper business that presumably pays tax, so she needs her clients!

You and your mum sound incredibly selfish tbh. If you need the money that desperately and your mother is capable of helping you then why wouldn’t she just do it? Especially if you have medical issues that make it genuinely difficult for you to work. If she’s that tight that she can’t give to her own daughter without getting something in return, she could have got you to do extra deep clean/ironing type jobs that aren’t part of her cleaners regular routine. Instead she decided to take her work away to benefit her own daughter who she could have chosen to help in numerous other ways.

Then you see your friend lose two clients, probably a whole days work every week that she relies on to pay her bills that are no less important than yours, and you’re wondering why she’s unhappy about it because you can’t see a problem?

Nice people don’t behave like that.

You might not have approached your mums ndn but you know your mum did .
you definitely have nicked 2 of her clients and you don’t even know if you’re going to be able to do it long term !
If I was your friend I’d fuck you off.

True, but you have to declare it anyway. Plus starting work can trigger a reassessment, for example if you get PIP because you need help with daily tasks such as cleaning, and then you go out to work as a cleaner, you would have to be reassessed and may no longer be eligible for PIP.

How is it benefit fraud ????

You've definitely poached customers. You should've said no to the neighbour.

There's no way the neighbour gave notice to your friend without knowing you'd take over.

If you wanted work, why didn't you ask your friend if she could employ you on a trial basis?

It’s a massive struggle though to do it I need to keep resting

in that case I’ll have to just claim UC instead then because I can’t risk losing my PIP when I’ve not got any better. Doing this is a struggle .

You did what was right for you and your mum did what was right for her family, BUT- this was at the expense of your friend who’s then lost a second client. I can see why she’s annoyed she’s allowed to be she’s lost income. I can also see why you would put yourself first - you’re allowed to but you can’t control others reactions to you doing so. Did you explain to your friend you’d be asking your mum before you did?

How would you feel if you had a job, and your boss sacked you, so their daughter could do it, and you confronted them,and they said well she is my daughter, would you be OK with that.

You can guarantee if someone posted on here that they had medical conditions and got PIP but needed more money and were asking about UC they’d be told they could work and find something to fit with their conditions and I’ve tried to do something small I can manage but get told I’m committing benefit fraud ?

You did poach her clients and if you want to keep this friend then you need to own up to it and apologise, instead of constantly making excuses which seems to be your thing.

You have a DP who works, you “don’t need to work” and you receive PIP.
Yet you somehow think you’re much worse off financially than everyone else.

You could have offered to do your mums gardening, shopping, ironing etc all of the things that your friend doesn’t do and you could still get money for - but you didn’t.

You wanted to do the exact same thing as your friend as you saw it as an easy way to make money cash in hand and you knew your mum couldn’t say no.

A pretty shitty thing to do to your friend, mum and NDN.

I suggest you stop feeling sorry for yourself and start owning up to your actions.