Family comes first surely ?

[Pinkchenille]

4 years ago my friend started a cleaning business. My mum was looking for a cleaner so I gave her my friends number . After 18 months or so she started to clean for my mums ndn too.

My mum has always had the opinion that if you want something you work for it so isn’t very forthcoming with helping out when I’ve struggled but my youngest is now in full time school so I wanted to work but I’ve not been able to for years due to some medical issues . I said to my mum would she consider letting me be her cleaner and as she has that kind of work ethic opinion mentioned above she was happy to do this as she would be helping me out but I wouldn’t be doing nothing in return.

she gave her cleaner (my friend) notice and I’ve now been cleaning for her a few weeks . Her ndn is one of her best friends as they’ve lived there for over 30 years and she had been talking to her and ndn has now given notice and asked me will i clean for her too (she’s aware of my medical issues and knows this will make throngs easier for me I’ve known her years and it was her suggestion)

My friend (well I’m not sure if she is anymore) has accused me of poaching her clients !!! But I’m not . They had given notice and yes I asked my mum but i didn’t approach her ndn. She’s says I shouldn’t have asked my mum but it’s my mum and surely family comes first especially given my circumstances 😞

I know they gave notice. I’m saying that irrespective of the notice, what you did was unpleasant. If you’re well enough to clean for your mum and ndn you could have found your own clients.

OK, you poached one and your mum poached the second for you.

Yes. They are.

But it is also true that OP poached her friends clients.

I'm not sure what people aren't getting here?

No only my mum . Of I declared what her ndn gives we’ve worked it out so it’s under £1000 a year so I wouldn’t have to pay tax anyway

No i wouldn’t

I need to be somewhere familiar with familiar people

You still need to declare it. What you’re doing is fraudulent. I’m assuming you’re continuing to claim benefits while doing this?

Why didn't you just say nothing.

Just to point out, the cleaner friend only had OP's mum as a client on account of OP's recommendation in the first place. So she's had 4 years of a client she might not have had at all otherwise…

@Pinkchenille maybe a heads-up to your cleaner friend would have been a better way to deal with this? An explanation as to why you needed the work and that your mum was helping you out because she's your mum, and not because she was in any way unhappy with friend's service.

Come on, it's her mum! If I set up as a cleaner and my mum paid for a cleaner, of course I'd expect my mum to use me instead.

I have a cleaner so I know something about the etiquette and your mum giving notice is totally understandable. Particularly given she's your friend.

I only get PIP. My partner works I don’t need to work but we’ve been struggling so I’m doing this as he couldn’t get more hours just to make ends meet

It is no so much the tax implications (unlikely be enough) but it may impact any benefits and ni contributions. Are you claiming anything disability related?

You can't consider it a gift. Because it's not a gift. It's payment for work.

You have to declare it or you're committing benefit fraud.

Does your friend know your financial set up? Because she may be of the feeling that since you are happy to treat her badly, she may be happy to do the same to you, and declare it for you....

Try filling that in on your tax return and see how that goes 🤣

You do realise you don’t just get to invent some convenient new rules when it comes to income tax and then decide you think it’s all ok?! The rules are what they are, not what you and your mum have decided to invent! Let’s hope your pissed off ex friend doesn’t report you. Are you claiming benefits? Because I would assume you could be in very serious trouble if so and that happens.

I get PIP

Both incomes (mum and ndn) need to be declared to HMRC, especially if you are on benefits.

also reiterate what I said before, your mum is not gifting you money to help you out, she is paying for a service.

Have you informed PIP that your condition has changed sufficiently that you’re now able to do some paid work?

She's had four years of work thanks to you recommending her to your mum. YANBU. It's a shame for her but situations and needs change.

Just curious, what medical condition requires that?

Don't be surprised if your 'friend' reports you for benefit fraud.

I would be invoicing for work done if I were you so you have proof of earning if it comes to it.

As a side note, poaching the next door neighbour was below the belt and I wouldn't consider you a friend if you did that to me.

No because I’m seeing how things go I’m case it’s too difficult . I don’t think it will affect it anyway as you can get PIP and work and I’m doing 4 hours a week so 2 hours at my mums then rest 2 hours then go to her ndn back to mums to rest then home

I have autism and adhd. Epilepsy and crohns

And yes you have undermined your friend, especially by accepting work from ndn.

I couldn’t just sit at home though when the extra money each week has meant we can top up the electric when we need to and eat. My partner is trying to get more hours but hasn’t been successful so I felt bad just doing nothing

The friend only had this work for 4 years because of an introduction from the OP. Did she pay commission on that - I doubt it. Of course a mother is going to give work to her child if they need it.

Yes this is "poaching" - but only customers they had through the OP. If cleaning work is so easy to find that OP could find her own clients then the friend will replace these customers.

I also doubt the ndn would replace her cleaner so readily if they'd done a great job.