I regularly drive long distance

Suggestions

Check the air in your tyres before you travel & water in the car washer. Fill up with petrol before you get on the motorway, because fuel is extortionate price on the motorway

It's much easier to drive during daylight at this time of year

Take food, drink, warm clothes, in your car incase the motorway gets closed & you can be stuck for hours

Do you have breakdown cover like AA or RAC

On a separate note ,why cant his parents come and see the baby? No doubt they dont fancy the drive either! He is being very immature and putting yours and the babys safety at risk

No way. I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. I did a drive like that once with my two young children, and I promised myself NEVER again! Faaar too dangerous-my brain was fried. He needs to learn to drive so you can share the visits to his parents, or understand you will need at least a day to recover before you do the return journey.
I hope you can find the confidence to say no, because you've got goodness knows how many Mumsnetters standing beside you in agreement.

I'm a confident driver of 30 years standing, and I used to regularly go up and down the motorway from the Midlands to Scotland, about 320-350 miles each way. I ONCE went up for one night only, and I was never fool enough to do it again! I was exhausted and it took me several days to feel right again. And that was as a single childless woman who could fully relax after that very taxing drive.

At heart, your partner is a total wanker. He can't be bothered to learn to drive. He doesn't like doing housework. He chooses not to understand why you don't want to make this MASSIVE trip. I mean, what is the point of him? What is the point of a partner who sees you only in terms of what you can do for him and not vice versa?

It's very telling that you have a new baby. The pressure of this point in your life tends to show you all to clearly the cracks that were already there. I'm sure he's always been a selfish prick, but it didn't impact you before to the same extent, so his good qualities outweighed the selfishness. But now - raising a baby needs to be a team effort and he is refusing to be a team player. His selfishness is on display front and centre, and it can be a bit of a shocker, can't it?

Selfish pricks love to exploit situations in their favour, and the situation he thinks he can exploit here is - he thinks you're now trapped in this relationship because you now have a baby together. You're not trapped. You will always have a shared child with this man, but you are NOT trapped in this relationship. Relationships end. Especially when one party chooses to treat the other party badly.

"He still doesn’t get it and now I’m feeling guilty because now he’s saying his parents won’t get to see our baby. I feel shit"
He wants you to feel shit, he's trying to manipulate you to agree to his shitty non-starter of a 'plan'. If he really wanted his parents to see the baby he'd take the train. Or invite them to visit. But no, no - the woman who's recently given birth is to exhaust herself at his behest, chauffeur him to the door and to hell with whether or not such a long time in a carseat is any good for the baby, just so long as he can present himself to his parents as a man who is fertile and has a subservient woman at his beck and call! Really - fuck him and his parents<shrugs>. You have nothing to feel guilty about. He does, but selfish pricks are incapable of feeling guilt for their selfish behaviour.

Bottom line - see him for the bully and the prick that he is and tell him 'no', that is a ridiculous amount of driving he expects you and the baby to shoulder. And have a good think about this relationship, because it frankly isn't working for you.

You are not being unreasonable AT ALL. I essentially did this for a university open day last year, without the night out and the baby. It was fine, but knackering, and I've been driving over 30 years. Also it was summer, so long days and no chance of bad weather.

Don't do it, he's being a dick.

His parents can come and visit you, can’t they? Or are you the only person he knows who can drive a car?

I've been driving for a while and I would not want to go this at all. Sleep deprivation plus baby, no thanks. Not a great combination for a long drive.

You are not being unreasonable but he definitely is. Ive been driving 35 years and wouldnt would fancy that and certainly not with a baby. Is he always unreasonable?

What? He’s stroppy with you when the lazy cunt can’t even be bothered to learn to drive? Prick.

I bet he does fuck all in every other aspect of your lives, and due to the fact that he’s given no consideration to dumping a baby in the car for hours, I bet he does fuck all with them, too.

If you're on mat leave, the baby must still be young. So, there are limits to how long they should be in a car seat for their own safety. Some organisations recommend no more than 2 hours at a time. Some even say no more than 2 hours in 24. Plus, they will need feeds and changing etc. 300 miles without stopping in the uk is a 6 hour drive if you're lucky, and it's mainly motorways. Add in the stops you would need for even a 6 month old baby, the odd bit of traffic or roadworks, and you're looking at it taking more like 8 or more hours. For a smaller baby, you would need to stop every 30 minutes or so, and that makes the journey impossible and frankly dangerous for baby imo.

And then do the same again the following day. When tired. With a cranky baby who has spent the night in an unfamiliar place. No way. Purely from the baby's perspective, it's dangerous and irresponsible.

To ask you to do that, and to expect you to pay as well, is the height of cheeky fuckery, and I would be thinking hard about what value this arse really brings to my life if I were you.

Quite the accusation there!

If you will be drinking till late, you need to aware of drink driving.

I’m surprised not many people are even talking about the fact you will likely be over the limit in the morning when you need to check out the hotel, if you’re having a big night out. It’s actually really surprising how long it takes to get out your system totally. (We had a H&S call at work before Christmas and I was shocked with the time as they did a thing on it with parties etc) anyway if I had a baby in the car I would want to know I had no alcohol in my system, maybe you won’t feel the same and will just want to be under the limit (not judging) so you won’t be able to drive depending on what you drink until the afternoon most likely. Then a 300mile drive with regular stops for baby….absolutely not. Give him 3 options, train, hotel an extra night or find your own way im not going

www.confused.com/car-insurance/morning-after-calculator

Ridiculous of him.

I've bern driving 40 years & really enjoy it, and I wouldn't do that. Period.

Not to mention subjecting your baby to that much time strapped into its seat.

This man isn't your partner is he? He thinks he's a slave owner, and you are his slave.

You won't have even cleared the alcohol out of your system if you drink spirits. If you got pulled over you'd be done so YANBU

Yes, all of this. And I bet he's been manipulating you for most of the relationship. Sulking when you won't do what he wants, training you that if you don't comply he'll make life very unpleasant for you. The fact that he didn't even check with you is revealing. And I bet there's an extra element of it all now there's a baby in the situation. He's expecting and pressuring you to facilitate his getting-wankered-with-his-mate lifestyle at the baby's expense. Maybe unconsciously or subconsciously but he wants to know that he still comes top of the pile now you have someone else to look after.

this is generic boilerplate

none of this will help the OP deal with the fact that

• she has a young child
• she is a new driver
• she will be hungover and sleep deprived on the way back

I regularly drive 250 miles in a day (but usually have a rest day the day after) - but I wouldn't be doing 600 in 2 days when kids and a hangover are factored in.

He's being unreasonable - they're his friends, he needs to sort transport out.

That's London to Newcastle distance. Not reasonable at all, especially with a baby in a car seat. The manufacturer limit is 2 hours. For that reason alone you shouldn't do it. We took a full day to get to Newcastle with a nearly two year old, and we live an hour out of London.

That's too long of a drive with a young baby in two days. You'll need to stop frequently with the baby and he/she will be in a carseat too long. And you are an inexperienced driver. He doesn't understand but it's an unreasonable plan. It also bothers me that he's using your lack of funds from being on maternity pay to push you into this unreasonable situation where he only pays for the aspects he approves but you do all the (driving) work, feel very stressed, and don't have any fun. I find that to be somewhat coercive. Just my opinion.

It really enrages me, that he thinks this absurd plan is reasonable. Is he 12?

Has he zero consideration for you & the baby?

His parents can see the child if they put in the effort. It's not on you.

No way at all
He sounds like a waste of time tbh

That would be a no from me

cheeky bastard

I drove 240 miles each way to my work Christmas party but it was 2 days apart and I have been driving 30 years.

Op l am a confident driver of many years and there is no way l would do that, even without a small baby in tow....
That is 5-6 hours of driving more with breaks!
He is very selfish and would happily put you and your baby in danger..
Tell him to get lost..permanently.