AIBU to not discuss my life story at work?

[HangryBerd]

My work is conducting training which tells us that we need to share our life stories, disclose what makes us "us", be vulnerable, share our emotions. If we don't, we are told that we're being anti-inclusion. My colleagues and manager are therefore having a go at me for being too private.

I'm finding this really upsetting as I'll chat to anyone about many things but there are aspects that are very difficult to talk about. They're nothing to do with work and quite frankly nobody else's business.

AIBU to stand my ground?

@slamfightbrightlight 100%. Bullshit sums it up nicely. I hate this kind of crap.

Another useful phrase to use against the terminally woke is "this conversation is making me feel unsafe"

Or,

"There may be people in the room who haven't yet come out (as transgender, as gay or lesbian etc). Nobody should be forced to come out unless they are ready and they feel safe to. I'm going to model what safe consensual disclosure looks like. As such I thank you for respecting my NO."

"I have already said I don't feel comfortable sharing that with you. I think we ought to review what consent and boundaries means in order for this to remain an inclusive workplace, don't you?" [show them the tea and consent video].

I do get the argument that mental illness has to be talked about to reduce stigma, but to feel forced to talk about it when you just want to get on with your job to take your mind off it is hard.

After this level of workplace bullying I would imagine that instances of poor MH would rocket thus creating something to talk about. It's like a perpetual motion machine.

Absolutely this.

Sure feed them bullshit but it sounds like an awful place.

I wonder what ACAS would say this type of harassment over sharing your private business.

Many many people do not consider their colleagues their friends.

They have zero entitlement to your private business.

Quite chilling actually.

Posts like this make me appreciate my boss on so many levels. Even if he were required to go down this route, a simple 'no fucking chance' would suffice. Utterly ridiculous.

This.

And just to reiterate what others have said, ‘bringing one’s whole self right work’ is a load of creepy/obnoxious bollocks.

NO. Keep your ‘whole self’ at home on your own time and leave me to get my work done.

*to

Fucking weird bullshit.

Just make something up or make it so boring that they just moved on.

I would pick a popular fictional character and pretend to be them. Make sure it's obvious it's not real, so your the grown up Hermione Granger, Katnis Everdene, Sabrina the teenage witch. Confuse the feck out of them when you answer whatever questions they ask.

If forced to I would be saying I am lucky to never really have had serious mental health problems (it does not matter if you have been sectioned just lie), but I was very sad when my cat died, I got a bit anxious before exams, and as a teenager I had a bit of social anxiety before going to parties i.e. normal fucking emotions.

I am married so I would lie and say I went out with a couple of boys/men, Steve and Tony for a bit. They were lovely, although Steve was too much of a footie fan really for me and Tony used to tell some awful dad like jokes. But I was never really in love with either. Then I met my husband at a meal at a friends house and as soon as I met him I knew he was the one.

So basically boring as shit and could be anybody's life.

I was going say you should tell them it is too triggering for you, try to shed a tear and then say you need some time to recover in the local coffee shop.

But this is better.

Call for restorative justice for their repeated bullying of you with these triggering demands!

Ridiculous- tell then you’re there to earn money, not as a counselling session.

Just tell them something mediocre about your life it doesn't have to be your inner most desires and dreams just think of it as another stupid hoop that you have to jump through.

THIS!!

I think it’s unprofessional to overshare. And very unfair on introverts!

No. Don’t make shit up. It’s playing along with a game that shouldn’t be played at work. Bosses/managers/HR/whoever should not be bullying or harassing people into sharing personal, private information.

I hope this was an attempt at a joke?

Do we work for the same company OP 🤣

Mine had had a push on "showing your vulnerable side" and "share your story"

We were all hauled into teams meetings to do this...

Mine went like this

I was born in the year 19XX, I went to XX primary school and XX secondary school, I then worked for XX company and XX company and now I am employed here. I have a child, a dog and a cat

The room went silent and the person heading the meeting went "well yes I suppose that is your life story" and moved swiftly on 😂

Inclusive my arse. This is a way to identify and isolate the odd one out.
Doesn't like sharing.
Poor working class background and others are posh or vice versa.
HR of the future will wince in shame that they led these initiatives. Surely every sensible person is thinking this!

My ex boss gave me a shit appraisal (which was bonus linked) because he said he didn't know enough about my private life. I was excellent at my job but apparently that didn't matter because I didn't like to talk about my weekend antics at work. Had a full on heated debate with him about this and needless to say I left shortly afterwards and took great delight in knowing it took 2 years to replace me. This was corporate office based as well.

😂

😂

We went through a phase of this nonsense about 5 years ago. "Bring your while self to work".

Our entire team refused to do it. In the end HR got a group letter signed by all of us stating that as a team we had huge respect for each others privacy, did not want to put anyone in a position of vulnerable, stress or scrutiny.

We also highlighted that such an exercise would have a negative impact on morale, possible reopen trauma for people and a strong concern that it may lead to an increase in sick leave and absenteeism.

We ended saying that the exercise was portrayed as an opportunity to increase team bonding and that it had achieved it's objective given we were absolutely united on this matter and would not be participating.

I don't even think we got a reply but it was dropped.

You are well within your rights to refuse to do it. If they do accept it, annual leave or sick leave are an option.

I've properly singled myself out as the "weirdo" in the office because once also when asked as part of one of these "games" who I aspired to be like, I replied Spok, because I felt the Vulcan race had the right attitude to life. 🤣 The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few and emotions are not a necessity.

I have adopted a purely "you want to be bat shit crazy HR? I accept this challenge.. "

I do believe HR and the wellbeing team have cottoned on to my antics, but can do fuck all about it 🤣👍🏻

F*ck that!

Any more comments along the lines of you not being a team player and I might start mentioning how the most important relationship of my life is the I have with my Union

Well, your story that makes you being you might be: I was asked by my employer to share details of my private life, which I felt very uncomfortable and you elaborate on how you felt being pushed into that.
Would that work?