AIBU to not discuss my life story at work?

[HangryBerd]

My work is conducting training which tells us that we need to share our life stories, disclose what makes us "us", be vulnerable, share our emotions. If we don't, we are told that we're being anti-inclusion. My colleagues and manager are therefore having a go at me for being too private.

I'm finding this really upsetting as I'll chat to anyone about many things but there are aspects that are very difficult to talk about. They're nothing to do with work and quite frankly nobody else's business.

AIBU to stand my ground?

The only time I was asked to do that was on an introduction to counselling course. It sounds unethical for a company to ask this of their employees

Ugh! What a drag. I have no appetite for sharing the ins and outs of my life story nor am I interested in hearing the vast majority of my colleague's lives.

I would complain or make something up. Something ridiculous like I once licked Boris Johnson's big toe.

On the flip side I do like to listen to various others war stories, as it helps build a profile of themselves.

Gosh, I can't believe that you're the only person who isn't happy to share details of their serious mental health problems 😬.

I love you all, I'm really beginning to see the possibilities to have some fun telling them all about how my childhood alien encounter has shaped my perspective on diversity.

Bizarrely it's just a bog standard office job. Think big international corporate. I do get the argument that mental illness has to be talked about to reduce stigma, but to feel forced to talk about it when you just want to get on with your job to take your mind off it is hard.

What a ridiculous idea.

Incredibly intrusive and frankly offensive.

Work is not a group therapy session.

It is actually incredibly crass because some people will have serious issues in their lives (mental health, illness, accidents, assaults) and the last thing they need is to be pressured into sharing this with their colleagues.

I never share anything personal at work.

I had to inform my line manager once that I had been sexually assaulted and needed some time off and that was traumatic enough. I can't imagine having to share something like that in front of an entire team.

I would either stand your ground and state that you don't participate in this as you would find it ''triggering''. That should shut them up.

Or make up a story that shows you in a good light. Just imagine yourself doing something that would be an example of victory over adversity and write a little story about it then sell that on the day of the training. Just see it as a performance.

Frankly if I was to share my real life stories there would be some jaws dropping all over the place...

I worked at a company that encouraged us to open up by email about any mental health issues we had so they could record the data.

Then I was directly discriminated against. I sued them.

Not everyone will use info disclosed for good.

what about role playing as if you were x character and have a mix of some real but then mostly manufactured details ?

It's not just hard to talk about these things, sometimes it's really dangerous to talk about them with people in an unsafe environment.

@HangryBerd

What happened with the aliens ?

Perhaps you could say "Oh of course I couldn't tell you all something so personal. I don't know you well enough to feel safe. I'm amazed you're asking us this" and then say nothing more.

Well fuck that. My response would be "are you seriously demanding that I out myself to my colleagues, just because you think that's inclusive? I think you've misunderstood the concept here."

'Inclusive' is one of those buzz words which really mean that you're only being 'inclusive' if you're toeing the party line. When I was working I talked very little about my home life, they were two seperate things, I was expected to bring photos of my daughter's wedding into work yet no-one knew her! It became a game for me, how little did they know about me, they were very surprised to find out that a few weeks after leaving I became a grandmother for the first time, But you never said anything!!!!
Stick to your guns or even have fun making stuff up, tell them that a lot of your previous life is covered by the Official Secrets Act so no-one has the right to know!

The thing is you never truly know a person to begin with, these days anyone can be bond, James bond. As an example. And although people generally appear polite etc, how many of them are Machiavelli personality so to .

Not an inclusive policy at all. I know many autistic people who would hate that as well as people who have been through trauma.

Listening to other people's issues can be upsetting and triggering, and it could also open the door to bullying and discrimination (as someone has already pointed out).

And why would you want someone you don't know or don't like to know about your most personal business?

This sounds unethical.

Fucking hell this is the opposite of inclusive - it's extremely hostile to people who have trauma which it is fully their right to not want to share in the workplace.

I think I would full on out woke them. Go hard on why it's anti-inclusive to insist on this and tell them they are bullying you with their continual pressure to share personal details that you are not happy to share. Tell them their actions are at risk of causing mental health issues for you, and that you are considering getting HR/Union/bigger bosses involved if they do not respect your right to privacy on personal matters. Ask with a straight face for restorative justice in the form of a 2000 word essay from each of them as to why somebody might have legitimate reasons to not want to share personal things at work. Out woke them.

Be inclusive.

Be kind.

Yeah, always said by the least kind and understanding.

We'd get along very well, channel our inner Ian Rankin or PD James!

Then there's always I enjoy reading about various serial killer's in history ect, and psychological profiling, combined with garbology ect

I bet you have a mental health first aider. Go to them and ask them to advocate on your behalf as sharing such personal things is triggering. I have ptsd and most of my colleagues have no idea.
Alternatively make it as funny as possible. Talk about the relationship with your gecko. A time you pushed yourself when you bump started your car etc. Tell them about a deep love of paint and watching paint drying on the walls and canvases and how the light changes and its like love as it looks completely different in the morning?

Oh, and I see you've had the GDPR training, so make use of that too - this is definitely data that is excess to the needs of the organisation.

Have you seen the movie Double Jeopardy with Ashley Judd? What about running thought that and then right at the end say "oh no that was a movie" and refuse to say more.

Just give the highly edited version. Share what you want and if asked to elaborate say ‘I could tell you but I’d have to kill you’

Omg hideous.

Id feel the same as you OP. My “life story” - urgh just the phrase makes me want to Vom.