AIBU to not discuss my life story at work?

[HangryBerd]

My work is conducting training which tells us that we need to share our life stories, disclose what makes us "us", be vulnerable, share our emotions. If we don't, we are told that we're being anti-inclusion. My colleagues and manager are therefore having a go at me for being too private.

I'm finding this really upsetting as I'll chat to anyone about many things but there are aspects that are very difficult to talk about. They're nothing to do with work and quite frankly nobody else's business.

AIBU to stand my ground?

It's depressing. The old maxim 'head down mouth shut' has served me well throughout my working life. From my own perspective there's a hell of a lot to be said for a colleague who is friendly but productive and hard working, keeps their private stuff to themselves, and never indulges in idle gossip, passive aggressive 'sabotage' or behind-the-scenes empire-building. If that's no longer enough, then I can't help them.

Work gets more than enough of my time, dedication and professionalism without taking peeks inside my soul as well. I don't want to bring my 'whole' fucking self to work. If that's uptight, fine. I'll wear it.

Absolutely. No one should be forced to talk about anything. It’s so not appropriate in the work place. No amount of bullying or manipulation can change those facts.

Then don’t lie, I’d not lie in such situations, but you can choose what you disclose if it’s that big of a deal. Just don’t disclose the areas where you don’t want people to know, if someone asks ‘ tell us about a time you faced hardship as a child’ go with the story about how you were bullied, or moving house and losing your friends, over the time your uncle attacked you at a sleepover.

Why the hell should you have to share anything private, personal and/or distressing, large or small? You seem to be working on the assumption it's a reasonable request/demand. It's not. It's not OK, it's invasive, destabilising, the absolute opposite of inclusive because it makes things harder for those who already have the most to deal with. Just being asked could trigger distress for people who've dealt with something awful recently, or are still struggling with a lifelong trauma. Would it be OK for a nosy colleague to bother you with inappropriate personal questions - no. So it's not OK for your employer or some random "trainer" they've brought in for no good reason.

The whole thing arises out of very stupid ill-informed pop psychology, like so much misery-inducing workplace shite that people hate.

Totally unprofessional & inappropriate to try and bully people into revealing their personal information! Think this should be reported to HR.

Maybe a manager has misinterpreted a request from above. Some employees might've endured some sort of trauma that they wouldn't want to reveal or find others experienced triggering.
I would be horrified if this was something that was suggested at work. Stand your ground & it might encourage others to be brave enough to as well.

Don't share anything you don't want to. It doesn't mean you're uptight or boring or whatever else they might throw at you. As long as you do your job well and you are pleasant to work with there is nothing else needs changing.

It certainly seems very intrusive. I wonder what they'd do if people genuinely had some sort of unresolved trauma and it made things worse. I think the facilitators and the organisation itself could be in a good deal of trouble. I think this sort of thing in the workplace reflects a broader cultural shift where we have come to see large organisations and workplaces in this quasi therapeutic light. Call me a Marxist if you will, but my own interests and those of the organisation for which I work are not the same. My workplace is the means by which I put a roof over my head and groceries on the shelves. It's certainly not my personal friend!

It's all about "risk" - one mention of that to management @thecatsthecats and its pure entertainment to see them visibly panic 😅and often backtrack at the speed of light!

Absolutely this 100%. YANBU