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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not discuss my life story at work?

408 replies

HangryBerd · 18/01/2023 22:01

My work is conducting training which tells us that we need to share our life stories, disclose what makes us "us", be vulnerable, share our emotions. If we don't, we are told that we're being anti-inclusion. My colleagues and manager are therefore having a go at me for being too private.

I'm finding this really upsetting as I'll chat to anyone about many things but there are aspects that are very difficult to talk about. They're nothing to do with work and quite frankly nobody else's business.

AIBU to stand my ground?

OP posts:
Piffpaffpoff · 18/01/2023 22:03

Stand your ground. Or say what makes you you is your sense of privacy and leave it there.

slamfightbrightlight · 18/01/2023 22:04

YANBU. This whole “bring your whole self to work” trend is bullshit. Just let us do our jobs.

CallTheMobWife · 18/01/2023 22:05

Tell them they aren't being inclusive of all the people who have no desire to share their secrets to co-workers, and in fact they are being highly intrusive and discriminatory.
I'd also say that any further "having a go" about it will result in a formal complaint of harrassment and/or bullying.

What new twattery is this?

Domino20 · 18/01/2023 22:05

Can you not just make up something?

XenoBitch · 18/01/2023 22:05

YANBU
You share what you want to.

Veryverycalmnow · 18/01/2023 22:05

This sounds shocking. Surely they can't force this. I'm not an expert but I would be mortified to have to do this. I'm a private person and an introvert. My colleagues, even the ones I'm friends with, don't know me on this level and I don't want them to. Boundaries are different for different people. Oversharers will love this. Ugh. Stand your ground.

topcat2014 · 18/01/2023 22:06

You would hate my team then. We cover all topics. Menopause, miscarriage, breakups.

I agree, though, that no one should have to share more than they want

XenoBitch · 18/01/2023 22:06

Domino20 · 18/01/2023 22:05

Can you not just make up something?

Have you seen the series 'Community'?
Someone made up something in that (I think it was his uncle raping him), and it backfired.

EVHead · 18/01/2023 22:06

That’s bloody ridiculous. I’d be finding a new job if they persist with this twattery.

I’m a very private introvert and I share very little at work.

Emmamoo89 · 18/01/2023 22:07

YANBU X

MajorCarolDanvers · 18/01/2023 22:07

You just need a couple of surface level stories. No need to disclose anything you are not comfortable with. Just some little moments to connect with your audience, colleagues etc.

MaverickGooseGoose · 18/01/2023 22:08

Yeah it's woke shit. Bring your work person to work you don't have to bring your whole self, it's work ffs.

RaininSummer · 18/01/2023 22:08

That sound awful and ill thought out. Apart from privacy, it could open cans of worms everywhere and be quite upsetting for some people.

Changingplace · 18/01/2023 22:08

This is hideous! I’d absolutely hate this, I have no desire whatsoever to tell all my colleagues this level of personal detail and you’re completely within your rights to feel the same OP.

What can this possibly have to do with working well with a team? Just no, I wouldn’t do this.

ipswichwitch · 18/01/2023 22:09

Christ, why are they wanting staff to feel “vulnerable” at work? I’d probably make something up, like running away to join the circus as a teenager or whatever. Nothing that had potential to backfire badly! But I would have a little fun with it.

CallTheMobWife · 18/01/2023 22:09

Domino20 · 18/01/2023 22:05

Can you not just make up something?

Why should she?

Montague22 · 18/01/2023 22:10

No that’s ridiculous
I agree a surface level story
I will tell colleagues I’ve known 5+ years more personal things if I am particularly close to them

I really can’t see why this would be considered a good thing. I had something awful happen and when I told colleagues they cried and I sat there saying I was fine 😂

trythisforsize · 18/01/2023 22:10

just make something up

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 18/01/2023 22:10

I'd ring in sick.
Work can be trying enough without this utter BS.

AaandAway · 18/01/2023 22:10

That feels like sanctioned bullying. And yes, easy to imagine how awkward (at best) it could be if someone reveals something that sets a cat among the pigeons.

blueshoes · 18/01/2023 22:12

Fuck that. It is an invasion of your privacy.

When you say 'have a go at you', can you explain how exactly? It sounds so unprofessional.

Do you have an HR department?

mrsmacmc · 18/01/2023 22:13

Can't abide the 'oh bring whole self to work' brigade 🤨

blueshoes · 18/01/2023 22:13

CallTheMobWife · 18/01/2023 22:05

Tell them they aren't being inclusive of all the people who have no desire to share their secrets to co-workers, and in fact they are being highly intrusive and discriminatory.
I'd also say that any further "having a go" about it will result in a formal complaint of harrassment and/or bullying.

What new twattery is this?

This. They are not inclusive of you.

workiskillingme · 18/01/2023 22:13

Not a cat in hells chance would I be doing this. So unethical and intrusive. Is there debriefing and therapy available after for those traumatised? Of course there wouldn't be. Also your colleagues and management are just that not friends and they have zero right to know any of your personal information bar from what you want them to. Are you in a union?

AaandAway · 18/01/2023 22:14

On the plus side, there's someone in nearly every office who would seize this golden opportunity to monologue solidly about themselves for the full time allotted so you might never even have to do it, once Martin from IT gets going...