Yoghurt Gate - WIBU?

[MullerCornerMorons]

With all the famine and BS going on in the world now, I’ll start off by apologising for the absolute ridiculousness of this AIBU. Just light hearted to see opinions…we have a demanding toddler so are constantly tired and grumpy. Get ready for it…

Our rule book toddler has a yoghurt and fruit in the mornings before nursery, I knew yesterday when I left for work there was ONE left.

Finished work got him for nursery (DH works lates) After his dinner last night he wanted a yoghurt, I said no as there’s only one and you’ll be sad if you don’t have a yoghurt in the morning, took some convincing cus, you know, toddlers!

on DH way home from work he called & asked if we needed anything from the shop, I said well probably yoghurts, he said no we have yoghurts. Before going to bed it became apparent DH had eaten said magical yoghurt before he went to work.

Cut to this morning! toddler has thrown a ‘Tom Cruise on set’ style fit due to the lack of yoghurts in this establishment.

DH came upstairs to me ranting that I shouldn’t have promised a yoghurt without checking, and even though he said there were yoghurts I should have checked in case he’d eaten it and didn’t remember - because how should he know right?

YNBU - DH should be aware of his actions like a grown up without input from his wife and, moreover should also be living in constant fear of the day there is no yoghurts

YABU - I should have checked when he said there were yoghurts as how can a poor bloke recall if he’s eaten the last yoghurt…who can be expected to recall 8 hours ago

Finally (if you made it this far) - this is only meant to be lighthearted, DH is not abusive and is a truly wonderful man but it does infuriate me he has no forethought at all and when things go wrong it’s my fault for not stepping in…

your DH is a knob. And his punishment is a week off work where he is in sole charge of toddler, and you periodically sneak into the fridge and eat all the yoghurts.
Obvs

I'm embarrassed for the women who still buy into 'poor simple menz, so simple, can't be expected to check before doing something, don't notice dust, can't figure out the washing machine' thing. Genuinely embarrassing.

Men can and do:

Look after children
Work as cleaners
Run busy kitchens in restaurants
Orchestrate complex military manoeuvres
Perform brain surgery
Write hour long symphonies interweaving multiple instruments
Play video games where they notice a slight movement off to the side of the screen and react in an instant

But of course when it comes to a yoghurt in a fridge, men just don't notice anything else except the item their hand randomly lands on.

People pay attention to what they want to pay attention to.

And why would he then claim that you had yoghurts? Did he think the fridge was full of invisible ones?

Your DH gets points for phoning up to see if there is anything he needs to buy at the shop. Unfortunately he loses even more points for not buying yogurt when you suggested it even though it was him who ate the last one.

@MullerCornerMorons hahahah I was just going to suggest buying a cow but since you have six already 😂 honestly people on here make me laugh so much. Life's so busy we hardly have time wipe our own backsides and people are suggesting to make our own yoghurt!

I'm old, so I still count my Mother's working life as recently, but in real terms it isn't. Good point, so men must be going backwards because even though cooks were in charge of the kitchen. The head groomsmen, butler etc had their stock taking roles and bin men were just men. My point still stands that until recently the hotels, bars etc in Muslim countries were staffed completely by men and boys. Did they draught women in the Army just to do certain roles because men aren't capable?

His fault 😝You needed yoghurt, he should have bought it without questions. There's no space for discussion with toddler, next time leave it to him 😂

Ah I sympathise, we had an argument at the weekend as my husband had eaten the last oreos and not replaced them, or put them on the shopping list. I eventually realised it was infact me who ate the last ones (I obviously haven’t revealed this information). I bought more oreos and kept quiet!

I know he's since apologised, but based on his reaction to you (going upstairs and ranting) I wonder how he reacted when toddler was upset. Did he get defensive and say it's no big deal stop crying, or did he validate and understand how his actions had hurt toddler, even inadvertently?

Haha why are people suggesting the solution is to make their own yoghurt?! Bonkers

I'd have told him to get his arse to the shop and buy some more!

YANBU he's mean.

My Dad once ate the last Mr Kipling French Fancy in the cupboard that I was saving for after school once. Think I was about 13 at the time.

32 now... Still bitter.

Also DH has apologised for yoghurt gate, he was the one to suffer the full force of Kim Jong Un at 6 this morning (while I was in bed - see not all bad LTB crew) so I feel he has suffered enough.

Ha, maybe that will make him think twice, I'm glad he was the one who had to suffer the tantrum, even if it sounds like he then tantrummed at you over something he caused.

Yes, I've been thinking more like that, now.

DS probably got most upset at breakfast (in throes of tantrum) with 'Mummy said I could have my yoghurt this morning' (i.e. he'd deliberately had to wait for it from the night before, very hard for a toddler).

DH's interpretation at the point of eating it: yoghurts aren't 'for' anybody, so I'm having this one (no thought of DS in morning).

DH's blame at breakfast time: DS is upset, DH should be capable of handling it, but... blame and 'fix it' instinct is directed straight to his wife.

That's what's entitled and crappy.

See I’m thinking that he asked if anything was needed, but he didn’t actually intend to call at the shop, hence the yoghurt supply obfuscation 🤨

Today go out to the shops and buy lots and lots of yoghurts. Before DH fill the fridge so the place looks like a yoghurt shop :) maybe even ask him to get more on the way home. Your dc will have a great time eating them all

Your husband is a dick.
You asked for yoghurts - he said no.
He then ate the last yoghurt - knowing it was the last yogurt and knowing that he didn’t pick up any more.
He then blames you for the entire situation he created.

This ^. I hope his apology covered all of the above.

Leave DH and toddler, buy cats.

That way you can really complain about living under a dictatorship ;)

Sounds like your DH doesn’t partake in the morning breakfast ritual if he doesn’t know your DC has a yoghurt every morning. This ignorance caused the problem.

Finally (if you made it this far) - this is only meant to be lighthearted, DH is not abusive and is a truly wonderful man

Wonderful men don't rant at you for no reason.
Wonderful men don't blame you for their own shortcomings.
Wonderful men don't deprive their own child of the last, life-affirming yoghurt in the fridge ...

Sorry OP, I know you wanted lighthearted.
But I sometimes wonder what constitutes "wonderful man" for some women.
I'm not suggesting he's abusive. I am suggesting he is irresponsible, expects you to be a mindreader, wants you to shoulder the burden of what should be HIS mental load, & shouts at you when he's caught out in an act of selfishness.

I'd urge you to keep a cool eye on those traits.
Lecture over. Sorry again -

the yoghurt supply obfuscation
😂😂😂

Thank you @martinisforeveryone this will be the title of my blockbuster science fiction novel.

I was kidding about OP making her own yoghurt. Far too sugary, give the toddler some bone broth each morning instead – sacrifice one of those six cows to the cause!

We had similar with milk.
I don’t drink milk.
dh is fully respond for ensuring we have at least one full carton at all times.
I don’t involve myself in it at all, if we run low all enquires are directed straight to dh.

i am also very wary of phone calls or dh asking about anything else I might need…because he is asking about household needs not my personal needs. He WFH - I don’t. He is in prime position to check stocks of all household requirements and uses the same strategies as I would to determine if the household is running low on essentials. he sits 4 metres from the fridge and uses the bathroom multiple times in a day. I’ve made the point that I can’t see from my work base 12 miles away if he has used all the loo roll or cheese!!

he sometimes ‘forgets’…handy (for him) that we have lots of local late night places to pick stuff up so that OUR children have milk in the morning or cheese for their packed lunch…

(different if he rings and asked if I’d like any treats, that’s not him opting out of household responsibilities)