Cancel ski holiday? Injury

[GetMeOut85]

We have a ski holiday in a month. I've injured myself, can't ski anymore. Non-refundable in large part. It's a group holiday with friends so I would literally be sat in a ski lodge all by myself 8am-5pm every day, for a full week. DH can still ski so he's keen to go, he says it'll still be fun for me in the evenings (I think that's ridiculous). The trip cost a lot of money, probably our last ski holiday for a while. No, I'm not the kind to be happy about sitting by myself all day with a book while my friends go have fun and I sit around waiting for them all day. AIBU to say to DH we shouldn't go anymore? It'll be absolute misery for me. At least if we don't go, we save money otherwise spent on ski passes, rental and all the bars and restaurants. Am I being unfair?

Is it too late for him to find someone else who might want to go in your place and keep him company at dinner?

I know you've said you can't work from abroad but if there's any chance at all I would ask for an exception for one week. Otherwise I would insist he go without me. He might be saying he won't go without you because he thinks you'll be upset if he does.

Yanbu not to go- he gets to choose he goes alone or you both don’t go…

So, this is one of those threads where you have already decided YANBU, and want support for that. You have 97% saying YABU....but you're not interested in that are you?

You've made your mind up that you aren't going , obviously, so are you just looking for ideas to justify that?

You probably should have said in your oringjnal post that he refuses to go on his own..!

I understand from your reasoning why you don’t want to go -that’s fair enough. If he doesn’t want to go alone and wants to miss out that’s his problem, but you shouldn’t have to go injured and sit doing nothing all day if you don’t want to do that.

mYbe just insist he goes? Or ask for an exception to wfh as pp has said, but if your husband still refuses - his problem - he’s an adult

Carry on being selfish. Who knows, maybe one of the party will get injured ski ing and keep you company. Yabvu.

Very few posters seem to actually be reading the OP’s posts. She is more than happy for her DH to go on his own, there is no indication she is trying to hold him back. She just doesn’t want to go herself due to her injury. That’s totally fair enough, I wouldn’t want to sit in a run of the mill ski lodge for a week either.

OP - both you and your DH have choices. You are injured and can choose not to go. He can choose whether he wants to go with or without you. He is being ridiculous by expecting you to hand hold him.

You just need to say to him going will be awful for you and not something you wish to do
he may well feel guilty about going on his own but that is his choice. So say to him your choice is not to go. He then has a choice as to whether he goes or not and you genuinely don’t mind indeed as you can’t get the money back would prefer if he does go and enjoy himself

I wouldn’t go in your position for the reasons you outline. I’d just end up feeling like crap after a week from too much food and booze and not getting out enough. Plus spending evenings listening to other people’s ski stories. I’d save the annual leave. Up to your Dh if he goes or not. It’s not as though it’s him and one other couple.

I was in this position a few years ago and I did go but slightly different as I worked and we took the kids so I did ski school drop offs and pick up me etc.

Are they more your friends than his?

On one hand I think he's being a bit childish 'I'm not going if you don't come' 🙄🙄.

I can't ski anymore (injury) but when I could I went alone, with groups of people who had someone drop out last minute. With friends hose parent couldn't go (they used to pay, she loved it & would baby sit a couple of evenings, collect the kids from ski school etc).

if he loves skiing that much he'd go. Maybe you need to discuss it properly & stop any guilt he feels about going

but I suspect you won't because you've got yourself in a right strop about it.

you really are coming across as a right stroppy mare. Sulky & miserable. As well as resentful about the money. It'll be a lot less than £2000 more without your ski pass & kit hire. Besides, you'd have spent it if YOU coukd ski. Now you're saying you could save the £2000 & making him feel guilty.

yes, it's sucks not being able to ski. Trust me, I understand. But ski resorts are beautiful places & sociable. You can take taxis, gondolas. Not everyone skis all day, every day, there's plenty of other things to do, people around. I get the ski chalet isn't luxurious, but you can still get cosy on your bed & watch a film, read a book, whatever.

you're both being unreasonable.

I don’t think OP is being very unreasonable or being particularly selfish as she has told husband to go alone. I think she would be a little selfish if she will not even entertain the idea of going and rebuffing all the suggestions of things she could do, including asking for an exception to work from abroad for a week.

Why can't you WFH abroad?

And how would they know, if you can WFH?

YANBU. He should go alone and you should try and get as much refund as you can, would the airline give you credit?

Is it Canada ? Get yourself a decent pair of snow boots Is there no way you could rent a car ? You must be saving on your ski pass ?

Most European and Asian ski resorts will have swimming/spa stuff going on. Tell us where you are going and we can help you.

Have you actually called them? I work in travel insurance- we would generally refund on this. Not the whole party but you and your DH.

I think your husband is being ridiculous. He should go! Could the other people on the trip persuade him to go?

Have you double triple checked your insurance T&Cs?

OP doesn’t mention kids which suggests she doesn’t have them. I suspect the appeal of a week reading and watching movies in peace appeals much more to parents than to child free people, hence the responses.

I suspect also that people get their idea of ski lodges from movies and don’t know what a basic ski lodge is like. It’s not designed to relax in during the day. No snuggly sofas and roaring fires.

I was with you until you said that your DH had had a setback and you arranged this as a treat.

Now you have an injury that doesn't seem to matter.

He obviously wants you there so maybe think of him in this instance and compromise.

A week alone relaxing and self relflection might do you the world of good. It's not great to be totally reliant on others for your amusement anyway.

Are you sure you aren't catastrophising here? 8-5 is a huge amount of time to ski, every holiday I've been on has been some long days and some shorter days. Often people have taken a day off or come back early for a break. Unless you and all the other couples are super fit. I love skiing, but if I set off at 8 I'm back by 12 or maybe have some lunch and am back by 2 at the latest. I would only stay out til 5 if i'd started later.

I got a bad concussion last time I skied, on morning two of seven days. Couldn’t ski for five and a half days and wasted all the money, had to stay in the hotel etc. By the time I was better the ski lessons moved on without me and the instructor was clear I couldn’t come back if I even missed half a day.

The evenings with my friends were fun, but not that much as it was all ski stories where you had to be there. Skiers on a ski holiday are very self absorbed. My friends offered to meet me for lunch just once - it was a massive trek to the restaurant but that was nice. If you can’t get around it would have been rubbish.

OP, you probably need to stay home or you’ll be a thundercloud reminding everyone you’re not having a good time and it’s costing you loads of money.

Or. Go along and spend the same as hire and lessons (1k?) on massages, fancy lunches and taxis. Depends very much on the resort whether this is at all feasible.

i’ve gone from yabu to yamassivelynbu
Ski accommodation can be massively bleak, in fact it often is.
If you could wfh it could be lovely though- I’d check with hr/ a
sympathetic boss.

That's terrible travel insurance. So terrible it doesn't sound very believable. When you phoned them up how did they justify it? Did you challenge it?

Your dh sounds a limp lettuce - if you don't actually have travel insurance why can't he go by himself?

Where is your accommodation situated relative to the town/resort?
If you are able to access a gym then why not go and make it a rehab week.

I voted YABU but I’ve changed my mind. I would check with work to see if they will allow a short period of remote working though. Our organisation doesn’t allow working abroad but has made a couple of short exceptions.