Cancel ski holiday? Injury

[GetMeOut85]

We have a ski holiday in a month. I've injured myself, can't ski anymore. Non-refundable in large part. It's a group holiday with friends so I would literally be sat in a ski lodge all by myself 8am-5pm every day, for a full week. DH can still ski so he's keen to go, he says it'll still be fun for me in the evenings (I think that's ridiculous). The trip cost a lot of money, probably our last ski holiday for a while. No, I'm not the kind to be happy about sitting by myself all day with a book while my friends go have fun and I sit around waiting for them all day. AIBU to say to DH we shouldn't go anymore? It'll be absolute misery for me. At least if we don't go, we save money otherwise spent on ski passes, rental and all the bars and restaurants. Am I being unfair?

I’d have a proper chat about it, explain how you want him to go but that you’d be far more comfortable in your own home, doing your own thing whilst he’s away. If he doesn’t want to go alone then he needs to accept that you don’t want to sit around alone all day. Only so much reading / relaxing you can do sitting around waiting for them all to return. He’s being a bit selfish insisting you go, as he probably doesn’t want to feel like the group gooseberry in the evenings

I’d be tempted to go and enjoy a very, very lazy week whilst DH and friends enjoy the skiing all day.
You don’t have to get up at 8 am to wave them off so if you can sleep later, enjoy a slow morning routine and hope they’ll be back earlier rather than later. A few great books, iPad games, movies etc and embrace the peace and quiet.
You could maybe persuade DH to forgo skiing a couple of days and you could enjoy time as a couple.

Is there a spa at the hotel? or any local activities that you could do?

I think you cancelling is reasonable, although personally I'd go (would there be ubers to get around a bit?). If he's literally refusing to go without you then I'd say that's on him if he ends up pulling out because you chose to stay home. What's his reasoning?

I would go but then I like my own company so I’d be fine; maybe your dh could spend time with you for a couple of days as suggested above and then you’re not on your own the whole time

I get it OP. If you are a very active, sociable person being stuck inside alone is torture. I'm active but not sociable and would struggle under those circumstances. But your DH is being a dick. Mine would be a bit like that but would go and enjoy himself if I gave him a severe talking to.

Is your job workable from home? Would you be allowed to work either a couple of days or half days from the lodge? That way everyone is happy. If not I would probably find a bosses, a course or learn to make something but I am not you. If your partner was injured and it was the other way round what would you do?

If you're driving in the evening why won't you have a car?

Seems very unfair on your DH.

The only feasible option is to convince him to go on his own. There are very few activities I could do on my own and the lodge isn’t particularly luxurious, it’s fine to sleep and get drunk in the evenings but it’s not somewhere you want to be stuck in for a week.

The catch is that I paid for absolutely everything as he’s had a bit of a setback (not his fault and he’s bouncing back). So he feels particularly guilty about it. I don’t care about that all. I care more about not wasting my very little annual leave on this.

I'd go. But make sure you have the use of a car! As it's paid for anyway.

Most ski resorts have some sort of spa place and othert hings to see.
Depending on your inquiry I'd seek these out.

Also your friends won't be skiing all day. Meet up for lunch is possible. And then watching the world go by at the bottom of the slopes with a hot drink is also lovely.

No one is driving, we’d be taking taxis. There’s nowhere to go to other than restaurants anyway.

Can you work from home, or work from ski lodge in this case?

Totally reasonable for you not to go. Annual leave is precious. Convince him to go.

I can work from home but not from abroad. So would not be able to do that.

He doesn't get to insist you come. He can go by himself.

I think he's being unreasonable based on your updates. You don't want to go but your happy for him to go. That's fine. Based on what you described it's reasonable for you not to go. What he chooses to do is up to him. Are they more your friends?

Even more reason for him to go if you've paid for it

Why won't he go alone? That's a bit odd.

Guilt. All couples so he’d be third wheeling all the time.

What resort are you going to? My mum doesn’t ski but she still comes along. There’s always ski buses to get to other places, she takes the gondola up to different restaurants as a pedestrian, visits a spa.

I think you’re being very unfair.

Tricky one. Are the group a bunch of hard, full day skiers or is it likely some of your friends will go up late/come down the mountain early to hang out with you? If they’re hardcore skiers I think it’s perfectly reasonable to not want to go - alone all day and then listening to Ski Tracks top trumps over dinner. Hubby should go though, tell him to put his big boy ski pants on.

Bummer 🙄🙄

If you don't want to go ..then don't go and tell your husband that...you're not being selfish he is husband is an adult..if he wants to go he goes...if not he stays behind.
Saying he won't go without you is silly
If they ski all day he won't be a 3rd wheel...it's ski-ing not a romantic island idyll??

Right. And how is it fair for you to be sat there bored stiff all day waiting for them to come and tell you what an amazing time they had but it's not fair for him to go to have dinner without you? The rest of the time he will be hurtling down a hill so there won't be much conversation.

I agree with you that 6/7 days is a long time to be sat doing nothing and I personally would find the fomo horrendous because I’d want to be skiing as well!

Really sucks for you :(

I would try and get my work to let me work from abroad if it was me - explain the situation and see if there is anyway they can bend the rules for a week.

if that didn’t work I would consider going for half the trip and just flying home myself half way through - then you get to see your friends but not wasting a whole weeks annual leave?

OP doesn't enjoy any of that