Cancel ski holiday? Injury

[GetMeOut85]

We have a ski holiday in a month. I've injured myself, can't ski anymore. Non-refundable in large part. It's a group holiday with friends so I would literally be sat in a ski lodge all by myself 8am-5pm every day, for a full week. DH can still ski so he's keen to go, he says it'll still be fun for me in the evenings (I think that's ridiculous). The trip cost a lot of money, probably our last ski holiday for a while. No, I'm not the kind to be happy about sitting by myself all day with a book while my friends go have fun and I sit around waiting for them all day. AIBU to say to DH we shouldn't go anymore? It'll be absolute misery for me. At least if we don't go, we save money otherwise spent on ski passes, rental and all the bars and restaurants. Am I being unfair?

@lieselotte “Tax laws would not apply to working from overseas for a week.”

Are you referring to personal taxation?

My company has very strict rules about WFH abroad and it needs to be approved by HR. They’re actually helpful and supportive but it has to be approved and isn’t always possible. It’s nothing to do with personal taxation, but company tax in both countries (of the employee’s residence and the place abroad). If the company does not have a legal entity in that country, they can be deemed to be operating there and trigger some tax liability. In Switzerland, there is specific legislation around employing Swiss residents. When I worked on a project there, an application had to be made with my CV and an explanation why a local couldn’t be employed instead, and then my pay had to be equalised (nice for me!) to avoid companies undercutting with cheaper foreign labour.

Much of this doesn’t apply everywhere or isn’t insurmountable - but it’s serious if you get it wrong, and many companies just ban all WFH abroad.

@GetMeOut85
YANBU.

Being stuck alone all day - you might as well stay at home (save a few £££) and save your AL for when you're fit to do stuff.

Your DH has 2 choices - Go without you or cancel.

I think you've already mentally checked out of the holiday (and so would I). It sounds like hell.

I agree with this. I would happily sit in a luxurious catered ski chalet all day, enjoy the food and wine etc and just relax (ok not happily, I would far far rather be skiing, but if I couldn't ski I would take that as second best). But a) that doesn't sound like OP's thing anyway and b) sounds more like functional accommodation, a place to lay your head after all day skiing / evening out, so it's a v different thing to be stuck sitting around all day in a place that is less comfortable than your own home.

Your dp absolutely needs to get a grip and go anyway- is there a friend he can take instead of you?

however I do think you’re a bit defeatist-
i went skiing with a friend once who decided she didn’t like skiing on day 2. She found plenty to do. Obviously it’s not ideal but I think you could potentially still have a nice holiday.

Negotiate working there or negotiate with your OH that he only skies half days and spend time with you the rest of the time. You can then drive to the nearest town.

Or maybe a combination of the two?

No pool, spa, bus?

Totally do this. How would anyone know? If you need to do video calls just find a blank wall to sit in front of.

Problem solved...not wasting annual leave, enjoy food etc in the evenings with everyone and your partner can still ski.

I very much doubt every single one of the skiers will be out from 8-5 everyday! Most people during a weeks ski holiday have one or 2 lie ins, some will take a day/half day off. Why can't your DH go skiing but either return earlier, ski a couple of half days or take a full day off mid week so you can go out exploring together?

@SunshineAndFizz
op should ask her employer if it is possible but there’s all sorts of reasons why this isn’t at all advisable without permission

Your DH sounds absolutely wet, of course he should go, skiing is a great holiday as a 'single' ... busy all day, home for a rest and a shower and then dinner. If he feels like a 'spare wheel' then that's on him, assuming they are joint friends and not people he has never met.

@vivainsomnia You can then drive to the nearest town.

In the snow, with snow chains, to a “town” that is another purpose built ski resort. That looks exactly like the one you just left.

Not every ski area is the same - but seriously, some of these suggestions just don’t work in many areas. It’s not all chocolate box alpine villages with long histories - there are also concrete tower block purpose built resorts miles from anywhere. Where the highlight of the “nearest town” is the same Spar and launderette!

Yes OP should absolutely risk being sacked from her well paying job, so she can work from a destination she doesn't even want to go to because her DH is being a limp lettuce.

OP would it work for him to go alone if you asked him to book another holiday later in the year now he's back on his feet ?

Like your username!
But I don’t think it matters that your experience is people having lie ins.
We ski 9-4 every day, often 5.
We can only go once a year, and it costs a fuckton. So we make the most of it. Plus we love it! (mix of adults and adult kids and teens) and everyone likes to stay out.
Conditions sometimes force us home of course - but rarely.

OP knows best what kind of group this is.

If the holiday is still a month away, is it possible that your injury will have improved a bit by then, and you’d be able to be a bit more mobile and able to get around to other things by then? Including driving?

But if you really don’t want to go, there’s no reason at all why your husband can’t go without you. Mine would certainly never insist that I went in these circumstances.

I would definitely go. I have passed many hours in ski resorts either pregnant or with baby too young to ski, and there’s plenty to pass time.

8-5pm isn’t a normal day. Lifts don’t open until 9am, and close at 4-4.15pm usually.
Very few people ski a full day, every single day. More like 9-3pm Max.
Your husband can also opt to go skiing but not every single day, or not to last minute every single day. What’s stopping him skiing all day Monday, day off Tuesday with you, ski all day Wednesday, half day Thursday etc..

All ski resorts have Walker only passes for the cable cars. You can get those and head up to meet them some days for lunch, or they ski down and stop for lunch nearby.

Hotels in ski resorts allow you to pay to use spa facilities even if you aren’t staying there.

I've been in your situation - ended up going and it was a bit teeth-gnashing (although nice mountain air blah blah blah) but it also sounds as if your DH has had a bit of a grim time recently and has been looking forward to this a lot.

My company also has the rule about not working from abroad. Could you in the circs explain the background to what has happened and ask for a waiver just this once? If you didn't have to take the time as annual leave would that make a difference in your thinking?

Yep. Depending on the company you may even be able to honest with them. You are on holiday but cannot move all day and alone, so may as well put in your working week.

I am pretty sure my employer would be ok with that as a one off, given the circumstances.

Sorry - had not RTFT and seen many others had had the same genius proposal as me.

Your DH is being really unreasonable insisting you have to go .

Having re-read your posts, if your DH is deflecting his guilt because you've paid for the trip, get him to pay his share.

He can then ski guilt-free and you stay at home. None of this other nonsense.

I don't think you should go. Your mind is made up (I agree with you btw). If you relent, anything that doesn't go well will cause resentment about losing your AL.

The only decision to be made is by your DH. That's his call.

Well if OP would give us a clue where this was it would help. Even the purpose built ones (thinking paradski area) have some facilities. Obviously somewhere like Zell am See would be easier....

Yeah, not only had plenty of people suggested WFH abroad, the OP had also already said she wasn’t allowed to. And in case you missed this too - there were then the people that suggest she just ignore company rules which might have serious legal and tax implications for the company.

Personally, I think if OP wanted to WFH abroad and was allowed - special circumstances or otherwise - she’d never have started the thread.

It's a tough one OP. I think I'd struggle as it sounds a bit like our group. Everyone out of the chalet by 815 to get first lift up and then not usually back till 5 to talk excitedly about all our adventures. I'd have so much FOMO I'd be sick.

We're also low end budget and have stayed in chalets on edge of town that don't look like something out of Last Christmas that a lot of posters seem to be imagining!

On balance a day or 2 reading books and watching Netflix would be nice but I'd be bored rigid and green with envy after a week. He should go by himself. Ski holidays aren't that coupley anyway.

I've changed my mind too with the update. Your DH needs to put on his big girl pants and go on his own.