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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cancel ski holiday? Injury

301 replies

GetMeOut85 · 18/01/2023 05:23

We have a ski holiday in a month. I've injured myself, can't ski anymore. Non-refundable in large part. It's a group holiday with friends so I would literally be sat in a ski lodge all by myself 8am-5pm every day, for a full week. DH can still ski so he's keen to go, he says it'll still be fun for me in the evenings (I think that's ridiculous). The trip cost a lot of money, probably our last ski holiday for a while. No, I'm not the kind to be happy about sitting by myself all day with a book while my friends go have fun and I sit around waiting for them all day. AIBU to say to DH we shouldn't go anymore? It'll be absolute misery for me. At least if we don't go, we save money otherwise spent on ski passes, rental and all the bars and restaurants. Am I being unfair?

OP posts:
Hollowgast · 18/01/2023 11:48

You've mentioned you're sociable and don't want to be on your own. Is this why DH "doesn't" want to go on his own? Do you really want him to go or is it something like "of course you should go, no, don't worry about me, all on my own at home, you have fun, I'll be fine at home while you're having a lovely time without me" etc

lieselotte · 18/01/2023 11:49

A ski holiday without skiing would be grim

This made me think of something else - if the resort isn't high enough, there might not be enough snow to ski anyway, so the OP could do other activities with the group Grin

seineingefrohrenerpimmel · 18/01/2023 11:51

lieselotte · 18/01/2023 11:49

A ski holiday without skiing would be grim

This made me think of something else - if the resort isn't high enough, there might not be enough snow to ski anyway, so the OP could do other activities with the group Grin

Where I live in Austria we've had fuck all snow since before Christmas - starting to snow a bit now - but all those people who booked ski holidays over Christmas and New Year right up to now have had to make do with very limited skiing and then have done other activities too - ie. all the ice rinks, swimming pools, winter hiking trails etc have been absolutely rammed with people. So yeah, maybe there will be little snow and the group ends up having to do other activities with the OP anyway.

WigglyGlowWorm · 18/01/2023 11:55

I think you’re both being ridiculous actually. So, he won’t go without you = a crap holiday for you
you insist on staying at home = your husband missing the last chance of skiing

It seems like you’ve reached a bit of a deadlock here and one of you is going to have to give in. When we’ve been skiing we’ve alway really enjoyed the evenings. Could you just make the most of it? Or, if your husband is the one to give in, maybe allow him to have first dibs on where you go instead, given that you’ve saved £2k.

Talkingmouse · 18/01/2023 12:03

How about you go, and spend the first and last full day together in resort. Spa. Nice lunch. Daytime sex.

So then only 4 days on own for you. He gets to ski, and only has to buy a 4 day lift pass and kit, so saving money.

countrygirl99 · 18/01/2023 12:06

@WigglyGlowWorm no need for her DH to miss out on skiing. She's happy for him to go without her and it's a group trip so he won't be lonely. But he won't go without her.

thenightsky · 18/01/2023 12:36

He's the one being unreasonable, refusing to go without you. Can't he pay for a name change on the ticket and take a mate? Although I guess you've already thought of that.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 18/01/2023 12:46

Hi OP

I'm not sure if most of the other posters have been on ski holidays. Accommodation is often basic and there is often nothing else to do in ski resorts. Youd literally be sitting in an uncomfortable apartment, watching tv, and sleeping in an uncomfortable bed, and getting people to bring you back food if it was too snowy or icy for you to walk and risk making your injury worse.

No way I'd give up a week of annual leave to do that. And all the people saying 'oh bliss, you can read / knit'...surely the OP can do that at home with all her stuff around her.

I think your husband is being a bit shit to expect you to fly and travel to sit by yourself in a dingy apartment all day just so he doesn't feel like a gooseberry in the evening. Skiing is social and people go in groups, it's not like he is intruding on someones romantic break around paris or their honeymoon

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 18/01/2023 12:46

I've gone on ski hols with a mix of couples and non couples and it's been fine.

seineingefrohrenerpimmel · 18/01/2023 12:51

Accommodation is often basic and there is often nothing else to do in ski resorts

Whether there is something else to do or not depends on the ski resort and where it is located. The OP hasn't answered this so it's a bit difficult to know whether she's being unreasonable or not.

Agree with you on the accommodation though - depends what they have booked. Could be a really lovely, cosy chalet but could equally be an apartment block with loads of apartments - many of the studio type with fold down bed in the lounge or bunkbeds in the corridor - thinking of my very first snowboarding trip to Les Deux Alpes.

rookiemere · 18/01/2023 13:05

The OP has already answered questions about the location of the accommodation. It seems like it is not in the centre of the village so they will need to take taxis to restaurants, suggesting it might be quite remote.
It's possible it's on the ski bus route though to allow people to get to the pistes.
Somewhat irrelevant though as OP has already said she doesn't want to go to use up her annual leave to be a non skier on a ski holiday.

AxolotlEars · 18/01/2023 13:13

It's reasonable for you not to go. He has to decide what he does as both options, going and not going, seem to be available to him. You don't seem to be putting emotional pressure on him and he shouldn't be putting any in you.

babyyodaxmas · 18/01/2023 13:31

I'm not sure if most of the other posters have been on ski holidays. Accommodation is often basic and there is often nothing else to do in ski resorts. Youd literally be sitting in an uncomfortable apartment, watching tv, and sleeping in an uncomfortable bed, and getting people to bring you back food if it was too snowy or icy for you to walk and risk making your injury worse.

Manyof us have said that we have been that non skiing person on a ski holiday. I have never been to a ski resort where there is literally nothing else to do and definitely not in Europe (Canada is tricky without a ca/being able to drive). Where are these ski resorts without pools, bars and walks ?* *

ReviewingTheSituation · 18/01/2023 13:39

But the point is that OP may not want to spend all week in pools and bars! Of course there are bars, and there are probably pools. But the pool would be of no interest/use to me, and bars aren't much fun on your own - certainly not all day for a week!

I've been to probably 10 different ski resorts in France, Austria and Italy, and if I wasn't skiing I definitely wouldn't have enough to do for a week on my own (apart from other types of exercise, like walking, snowshoeing etc which OP clearly can't do).

babyyodaxmas · 18/01/2023 13:49

ReviewingTheSituation

I totally accept she may not want to, but it is disengeous to say " there is nothing else to do".

walkinthewoodstoday · 18/01/2023 14:39

If you can't get all the money back, then you might as well go. You won't have as much fun, but seems very unreasonable to not go so your DH doesn't.

Butchyrestingface · 18/01/2023 14:55

GetMeOut85 · 18/01/2023 06:16

Guilt. All couples so he’d be third wheeling all the time.

Show quote history

He is BU. He should go on his own and leave you here to recuperate.

WiddlinDiddlin · 18/01/2023 15:30

@GetMeOut85 Give him a kick up the backside!

Whats all this 'third wheel' bollocks?

Surely your friends are sensible adults not sloppy loved up teenagers draped over one another all the time, and this is an active holiday, not a romantic break... They'll be skiing, sitting on lifts, shoveling in lunch or getting pissed back at the lodge, not endlessly shagging and snuggling all over the place?!

Perfectly possible for people to go skiing alone or with friends but not a partner, or to take spare friend (and yes, its really common for people to share beds like this when skiing, its just all about the skiing!).

My sisters out in Morzine right now, having gone by herself to a shared lodge - he needs to grow a pair.

I don't think people are really grasping that if you wanted a week or 10 days of skiing all day long, a spa and a fucking hot chocolate each day really isn't a comparable alternative, so its far more sensible for you to stay home if there is no possibility of alternative activities.

Original poster
GetMeOut85 · 18/01/2023 15:38

OK things have calmed down a bit. DH still won't go without me but has realised what a shit set up it would be for me due to the remote location. So he's having another think and we are looking into changing the trip to go somewhere else. We will lose money on accommodation but not flights (which are very expensive, it's a long haul flight). We won't be with our friends but they all want to ski all day anyway, this is a group of people who love skiing, no one is gonna give that up to sit with me in a sad old lodge.

OP posts:
seineingefrohrenerpimmel · 18/01/2023 16:03

GetMeOut85 · 18/01/2023 15:38

OK things have calmed down a bit. DH still won't go without me but has realised what a shit set up it would be for me due to the remote location. So he's having another think and we are looking into changing the trip to go somewhere else. We will lose money on accommodation but not flights (which are very expensive, it's a long haul flight). We won't be with our friends but they all want to ski all day anyway, this is a group of people who love skiing, no one is gonna give that up to sit with me in a sad old lodge.

Sounds like a good compromise

SmileWithADimple · 18/01/2023 17:42

Good update OP. Glad to hear that DH is trying to find something that works for both of you.

InsertUsernameHere · 18/01/2023 18:23

Sounds like you have a good compromise - but also think back about your other holidays (you know the group you are going with). Will they all ski all day everyday? I ended up going on a skiing holiday heavily pregnant - so didn’t ski. But for most days there was somebody to hang out with because they had twinged something, needed a rest day etc.

countrygirl99 · 18/01/2023 18:41

Hope you get something sorted.

WhatDoesItSay · 19/01/2023 09:52

That sounds like a good plan OP, Hope you get something great planned and hope your injury gets better soon

endellienta · 20/01/2023 12:28

Easy. Persuade your husband to take a friend on the ski trip in your place and then use the money the friend contributes to pay for a weekend away with him (your husband I mean!) when you are fully recovered.