Cancel ski holiday? Injury

[GetMeOut85]

We have a ski holiday in a month. I've injured myself, can't ski anymore. Non-refundable in large part. It's a group holiday with friends so I would literally be sat in a ski lodge all by myself 8am-5pm every day, for a full week. DH can still ski so he's keen to go, he says it'll still be fun for me in the evenings (I think that's ridiculous). The trip cost a lot of money, probably our last ski holiday for a while. No, I'm not the kind to be happy about sitting by myself all day with a book while my friends go have fun and I sit around waiting for them all day. AIBU to say to DH we shouldn't go anymore? It'll be absolute misery for me. At least if we don't go, we save money otherwise spent on ski passes, rental and all the bars and restaurants. Am I being unfair?

I'd be able to entertain myself for a week at home, while my DH went skiing with a group of mutual friends.
Why would you not think that was an ok option?

What injury is it? Do you have a physio/doctor who could give you an indication of where you'll be mobility wise after a month? That's a significant time, you may well be able to walk/cycle/gym by then and could have a week of mountain-based rehab.

It depends on your fitness and the specific injury but DH was fully mobile 3 weeks after a hip fracture ( in fact he flew out to a ski resort less than a week after surgery to join the family) and I was moving well a month after a crucial tear- more difficult if you'll still be in a pot though.

Cruciate tear - thanks autocorrect

@HaggisWurst and isn't the DH selfish for insisting his DW come on a holiday that she can't participate in ?

If he is a good skier he can ski on his own and meet friends for lunch and/or join them for some of the day - it's hardly a romantic couples activity. Or if not such a good skier he can take some lessons. If he is worried about being the singleton on meals out - and again post ski mealtimes are about refuelling not romance fests generally- he can take the odd evening off and eat in the apartment instead. It's not like he will be totally on his own for the week.

You are being so unreasonable. If I were you husband I'd offer to go alone. And if I were you id muddle through and go, you can still enjoy the evenings.

Why does OP need to go for her husband? She isn’t chaining him to the home kitchen and telling him he can’t go. He has full permission to go and enjoy. Sure, he will be a bit of a third wheel, but I’m sure the others will include him. It’s pretty simple, the situation sucks for the OP. Whether it sucks for him is his choice. If he couldn’t possibly face going on a holiday with friends without a handhold, he can just wait until the OP is better and they rebook.

I’m also fairly sure all this talk of luxury spa baths and lazing around at the dayspa means much of Mumsnet has gotten their ideas of ski lodges from
the cinema. Most of them are nothing like the luxury being described here.

Yeah being stuck in the ski lodge injured sucks…. I injured myself three days into our ten day trip and was stuck on my own with a leg in a cast on crutches. I was miserable and just wanted to come home. So I wouldn’t go if I were you either. He won’t be third wheeling it… skiing all day then a meal at night it’s fine to be an extra person in amongst couples. Much worse for you to be stuck on your own for 90% of the trip. He needs to get a grip and go on his own.

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHY IS MUMSNET SO OBSESSED WITH SPAS?!!!!!!"
Agreed, I bloody hate spas.

I wish people would stop telling op what they would enjoy about being stuck at a ski resort unable to ski. Op didn't ask us to recommend activities, she's been quite clear from the start that she doesn't want to go and find alternative amusements. Her AIBU is "Am I being unfair?".
Op - you are not.

I mean this kindly because I would be exactly the same, but are you sure you just haven't got yourself into a cycle of doom because of your understanadble disappointment...it's all going to be crap. It's not fair. I'm going to hate it all. The insurance won't cover it!

Let the dust settle, double check your insurance policy, check with work to see if they will let you WFH for a week, then reassess how you feel.

Sorry you got injured OP. I hope you can sort something out.

What resort is it? Maybe we could suggest some things you'd enjoy.

I wouldn't want to go either. Your husband is being ridiculous and unfair insisting you do

He can't "insist" on anything, he's not your dad. Tell him to go by himself (he'll be with a group ffs, not as though he'll be alone) or not go at all - it's up to him.

If it was me I'd enjoy the time to myself during the day but you don't feel that way so you absolutely have the right to stay home where you're comfortable and save the money.

He's being a bit silly, hopefully he will realise that and go on the trip.

Hope you recover soon!

And you are one of those posters who can't be bothered to read the OP's posts, including updates about her DH not being prepared to go alone?

OP's initial post didn't make this clear, hence the vote. Her later ones did.

I think you are being a bit bah humbug about this. Skiing is a sport where a person could just as easily get injured on day one and have to sit out the rest of the holiday - you’re not guaranteed a full week of skiing and this is a risk most people think is worth paying.

which resort are you going to? Have you researched your ability to make it up to a mountain restaurant to join people for lunches etc? Or places where you could meet for a coffee/vin chaud etc during the day?

presumably there will be wifi, so you can catch up on a few box sets, read, find out whether there is a local pool/spa/massage etc?

the mountains are beautiful. There are worse places to rest up with an injury.

I suspect if you told a hcp you were due to go skiing they would give you the paperwork to cancel with insurance, even if technically you could travel. DM broke her arm a month or so ahead of such a trip and cancelled under her policy. Ask dh to find a friend to take your place or go alone.

So I would be stuck inside other than going to restaurants in the evening (because we would drive).

Just tell him you're not going and he can make his own mind uo

You are both being unreasonable - he's unreasonable for not being able to spend a week away from you on holiday with friends, you are unreasonable for not being able to entertain yourself for part of the day without him (or others). The holiday is paid for so at least one of you should go - or can you find another couple to go at short notice in your place and offer them the holiday at a discount so you recoup at least some of the cost?

2k for ski passes and meals? I know ski resorts aren't cheap but where are you going that it'll cost that much?

(Asking as someone who once paid €3 for a can of Coke on the Bellevarde)

I can't understand why your husband can't just go alone or take another friend in your place. That is really his problem not yours.

Explain to situation to work and ask for permission to work remotely. I had something similar and it was fine.

Thingshavebecomeweird brilliant suggestion!

The best holiday I actually ever had was when I got injured on a ski holiday. Everyone else continued to ski. I would go with them to a beautiful ski lodge drink mulled wine and read my book. Then we all went back together and enjoyed the Apre ski. It was wonderful. (I did manage a bit of snow shoeing/toboganing too. )

It depends on the company. Some will have access from abroad blocked and it may need IT changes to allow it.

I do wonder if most of the posters saying just go and make the best of it have ever been to ski resorts?

OP hasn't said where she's going, but if it's a purpose built resort rather than a cute old Alpine village, the stuff she will physically be able to do would probably use up about half a day.

And I completely agree that most ski lodges are brilliant for sitting around chatting and drinking but you wouldn't want to be stuck in one day after day.

And of course it will feel shit when everyone comes back rosy cheeked raving about what a great day they've had and you've just been mooching about. Again, and again and again.

And that's before the use of AL comes into it which means you can't then do something else at a later stage.

Honestly, I am usually very much a 'just give it a try' type of person, but going on a ski holiday and not skiing? No thanks.

Ski holidays aren't really couply anyway so he shouldn't worry about being a third wheel. Yes it won't be the same without you, but I think you just say you are NOT going. Up to him if he wants to go solo or not.

@Stravaig "I think we should magically reassign your holiday to people for whom being in the mountains, being on the slopes, being on holiday at all is an unimaginable treat."

Why moralise? If you reassigned the holiday to those deprived grateful people, OP would still be the one stumping up extra for it. She can decide how she wants to spend her money. She's not actually disrupting anyone else's holiday or costing anyone else money by staying home while injured. She doesn't want to pay extra and use her annual leave to while away a week like she's in Covid quarantine.

I'd make a go of it if (1) I was extremely close to my group of friends and I knew I wouldn't feel left out, for example at dinner (2) the resort was luxurious or at least cosy – I've been to some budget ski resorts with just a few crap amenities.

I really appreciate cosy time alone (having mentioned Covid above, hotel quarantine for a few days was a dream for me) but burning through my precious annual leave + paying an extra 2k for 7 days feeling left out while repeatedly cycling through the few amenities in a cold bare bones sort of place... Why not spend my annual leave and money on something I'd actually enjoy?