Cancel ski holiday? Injury

[GetMeOut85]

We have a ski holiday in a month. I've injured myself, can't ski anymore. Non-refundable in large part. It's a group holiday with friends so I would literally be sat in a ski lodge all by myself 8am-5pm every day, for a full week. DH can still ski so he's keen to go, he says it'll still be fun for me in the evenings (I think that's ridiculous). The trip cost a lot of money, probably our last ski holiday for a while. No, I'm not the kind to be happy about sitting by myself all day with a book while my friends go have fun and I sit around waiting for them all day. AIBU to say to DH we shouldn't go anymore? It'll be absolute misery for me. At least if we don't go, we save money otherwise spent on ski passes, rental and all the bars and restaurants. Am I being unfair?

well you won't need ski passes or gear, just to eat.

Go, make the most of it. or at least positively encourage him to go!

Is there anyone else who could take your place.

He doesn't get to insist that. You can't insist you both cancel, he can't insist you go.

You;re individuals. Just tell him you're not going, and what he does is up to him.

It's definitely worth seeing if HR will give you permission to work. I work in a sector that doesn't usually allow for abroad working due to security issues however exceptions have been made depending on what country it is, Europe is usually fine.

Could someone take yours and DH’s place? Even if they paid you half the cost you’ve shelled out it would still be better than losing all of your money. It sounds pretty set in stone that he won’t go without you. Or alternatively why doesn’t he go for a few days and fly back earlier?

The obvious answer is for your husband to go without you, but if he won't, he won't and you are not morally obliged to go on a trip you won't enjoy much just because he will miss out. What is it with these wimpy men (and women) who cope perfectly well at work but can't go anywhere socially without their partner?

If you like this man go with him, if you don't - don't.

In your position if I could get the money back I would bother going, if I couldn't, I'd go.
Why does your husband need to cancel though?

If you are in pain and still uncomfortable- definitely don't go. If you are generally okay and typically enjoy the mountains vibe , there could be things to do: read, short walks, eating out, swim..I agree there is also always someone doesn't ski all day long every day: bad weather, feeling unwell etc, so someone could keep you company at least on some days. But the fact remains you don't want to go , not that you regret you won't be skiing

Let husband go.. Surely you trust him enough for that?
Yes, being injured is a pain, but it shouldn't spoil his holiday.

It's not her. It's him doesn't want to go without the OP.

It helps to understand the thread before commenting. OP has no problem with him going. It's him that doesn't want to go alone and is insisting she has to go.

OP has repeatedly stated that her husband does not want to go without her.

This is the actual issue.

I think YABU since you can't get a refund. Is there nothing in the area like a spa etc where you can enjoy a bit of pampering?

If it's non-refundable, I'd suck it up and go. Make the best of it.

Or you and your h pull out and find another couple to go in your place? Or your h takes a friend instead of you? That might work best.

or I agree with @redtshirt50: I would try and get my work to let me work from abroad if it was me - explain the situation and see if there is anyway they can bend the rules for a week.

if that didn’t work I would consider going for half the trip and just flying home myself half way through - then you get to see your friends but not wasting a whole weeks annual leave?

He's her HUSBAND. WTF are you talking about?

Read updates - this is on him. YANBU to not go and save AL and be in the comfort of your own home. He's BU emotionally bullying you to go. Does he have a friend who could take your place (and maybe offer you a small sum as a thank you) or even another voucher assuming friends OK with that.
Be clear. It's up to him. Either he goes or he doesnt but you're not going

Where are you going? Massages, swimming, spa etc?! Swimming can rehabilitate in any event? Have personally never been to a ski resort which doesn’t have a pool somewhere.

And if your h is insisting you go, that's not very fair of him. Try to make him see your POV.

For those who haven't really been skiing before you may be thinking the 'ski lodge' will look a little something like the photo on the left. In actual fact it's usually something a little more like something on the right, with no view of the mountains.

OP - tell your husband to grow up and go on his own. Skiing is actually a very individual activity once you're on the slopes, so no need for him to 'third wheel', it's a group trip!

@thisplaceisweird to be fair the place on the right is still a lot nicer than some ski apartments I have stayed in !

Same! I'd be happy with that!

agree - if you're really not up sitting around all day (although you'd think your friends would cut down skiing time and have more time with you or take turns) he goes by himself like an actual grown up -provided you don't need looking after and can manage alone.
Hope you feel better soon op and sorry you're holiday has been spoiled.

@GetMeOut85
Where are you going? If you don't want to say exactly where, maybe the country and whether it's a village or a purpose-built resort with nothing there.
I can't tell if you are being unreasonable or not. I live in a ski resort in Austria and I think you would be unreasonable to stay at home if you were booked somewhere like this because you could get the bus to places like Salzburg or Innsbruck which are really interesting cities. There's also a spa town nearby with spa but also a lovely place to go for a trip out if you hate spas. Also, I think there is room for compromise here - you both go and DH skis in the morning and you do something together in the afternoon and evening.

BUT - if it really is a purpose-built resort, in the middle of nowhere, or somewhere like the US or Canada where distances are vasts and you really do end up isolated then yeah, I can imagine it being total crap sitting around all day waiting for DH and friends to come back from the slopes. (I would just read and lounge about and have long baths but I enjoy that and appreciate many people don't).
If he is really saying he won't go without you then he is being unreasonable. But I find your posts a bit contradictory as you start out saying
AIBU to say to DH we shouldn't go anymore? It'll be absolute misery for me. At least if we don't go, we save money otherwise spent on ski passes, rental and all the bars and restaurants. Am I being unfair?
and then later on claim he says he won't go without you.

He should definitely still go - such a complete and utter waste of money otherwise. And you should maybe make a compromise with him and also go if the place you are going has other things to do in addition to skiing.

I think the one on the right looks ok, it seems to have a sofa there. The one on the left is more what I would have in mind though. 😅