Cancel ski holiday? Injury

[GetMeOut85]

We have a ski holiday in a month. I've injured myself, can't ski anymore. Non-refundable in large part. It's a group holiday with friends so I would literally be sat in a ski lodge all by myself 8am-5pm every day, for a full week. DH can still ski so he's keen to go, he says it'll still be fun for me in the evenings (I think that's ridiculous). The trip cost a lot of money, probably our last ski holiday for a while. No, I'm not the kind to be happy about sitting by myself all day with a book while my friends go have fun and I sit around waiting for them all day. AIBU to say to DH we shouldn't go anymore? It'll be absolute misery for me. At least if we don't go, we save money otherwise spent on ski passes, rental and all the bars and restaurants. Am I being unfair?

And cleaning toilets I've found

Well then they should all cancel 😂😂
Ive invested too much time in this so far 🤦‍♀️

😂Same

That's actually what I was meaning to say. That it shouldn't be difficult to entertain yourself for a week!

Also if the OPs employer is anything like mine, she will not be able to work abroad no matter the reasons. Due to security and the nature of the work I do, I cannot work abroad under any circumstances.

@BodyShapeWoes I'm confused, why does OP not going = no one else can go?

What would you be doing at home instead?

It shouldn't be difficult for DH to eat dinner without OP there

Although I think it's a shame to waste the money and op could try enjoy herself in the evenings with the others, I do agree the DH shouldn't be forcing her to do something she really doesn't want to do and he's more than capable of going on his own. He's a big boy.

I've been the one left in the ski lodge.

I knew I wouldn't be able to ski much so took a kindle and some hobby stuff and had a wonderful week just pottering around the resort and sitting by the window watching the snow flurries and the skiers going past.

Luckily it wasn't one of those ugly souless one though.

You clearly don’t want to go. Let DH go by himself.
or work from there for some days (maybe half days?) - saving on your annual leave whilst still getting some relaxation

Fine for something like Covid quarantine, but why pay a few more grand and burn through limited annual leave to "entertain" yourself at a stretch? OP not going won't impact anyone else's holiday (except her husband but surely he can more easily entertain himself on the ski trip as well?)

Entertaining yourself at home for a week is a completely different idea!!!

OP, are you willing to name the resort? I've previously said I don't think you should go but it would answer once and for all whether scenic walks and spa days are realistic.

He's being a plonker then isn't he.

Demanding that you sit in expensive solitude so that he can have the ski holiday he isn't grown-up enough to go on without his mummy wife.

You'd be much better off at home, you are not denying HIM anything, but he is denying you your right to choose where you will be most comfortable for the week of the holiday. Have you tried doing a Bernadette from Big Bang Theory on him yet?
"Grow up you big baby!"

If the OPs injury is affecting her mobility pttering around on icy surfaces to could leasulily lead to a nasty fall and any injuries wouldn't be covered on her insurance as due to a pre-existing condition. She's already said that snuggling up with a book/knitting/box set for a week isn't her thing and a spa is many people's idea of hell.
If she doesn't go her DH can still go. She won't get her share of the cost back but, even if she's bored at home, at least she won't waste precious leave.
Her DH needs to man up and stop needing OP to hold his hand.

If it’s non refundable it’s an absolute no brainer, you should both go or your DH should go on his own. Mad that you should be considering wasting this chance. Could you also possibly be catastrophising a bit- surely chilling, going for a coffee, having a spa/ sauna, watching TV and chilling with your friends at a nice restaurant in the evening can’t be that bad? Is it just the change of plans which might have caused this reaction?

If you're a sociable person then you'd find someone to chat with or something to do.
Your DH should go on his own. Encourage him to do so.
It makes absolutely no sense to me that you'd rather waste a non-refundable holiday than entertain yourself for a week but that seems to be who you are. That shouldn't impact on your DH's holiday.

Your DH needs to pluck up the courage to go it alone. I don’t understand why he’s insisting you have to go when you clearly don’t want to.
Has he given you any reason why he can’t/won’t go without you?

What on earth is this obsession with pools and spas?! If I was in OP's situation, I could imagine passing a couple of hours with a massage in a spa, but that's it for the week - it's not something that's going to fill the time. And going for a swim every day, no thanks!

Loads of ski resorts have very little else to do if you're not skiing. Some are purpose built and are a long way from 'real' places; some are purpose built and have other activities built into that (but generally pools/other sports). And some are lovely little towns, which might have enough to occupy you for a day, but I have never been to a ski town where there's enough to do to keep you busy. You could get public transport to other towns etc, but I can totally see how OP maybe doesn't want to do that.

Yes - there are coffee shops and bars, but how much fun is going from coffee shop to bar, by yourself, on repeat for days on end.

Yes - you could get a gondola up the mountain perhaps, and meet them for lunch, but that relies on them wanting to have lunch at/near the gondola station (whereas most skiers might use that as a start point for the day and be miles away by lunchtime).

I totally get you OP. A ski holiday without skiing would be grim.

But your DH needs to get over himself and go alone. Skiing with couples isn't like being on a beach holiday with couples. We regularly ski with one half of a couple (a DH of a good friend of mine); and last year we skied with a single person. In a group of skiers, there are often splits according to who wants to do what/go where, and I'd be amazed if that always involved each couple being a single entity. We often split into boys/girls, or people that want to do a certain run/people that don't, or people with tired legs/people who want more. If you know them well enough to go on holiday, I really can't see the issue.

i think you are being dramatic. Just go and take some good books, draw, write, sit on your phone - wgatever just chil

its paid for anyhow so whats the point in not going?!

Taxi to somewhere with shops, bars, cafes and spend the ski pass money on having a good time. Go back to lodge and bath and change and be the only one without aching muscles for the evening.

We're missing 2 significant pieces of information.

Severity of the injury. A simple sprain which shouldn't be exacerbated by skiing, but you can otherwise get around easily enough? Or multiple broken bones, where you'd definitely want to stay in the comfort of your own home, and may also need DH there to help look after you? For example.

The quality, comfort, situation of the resort. Purpose built concrete blocks with no other facilities? Or luxury alpine lodge nestled within a thriving community? Or something in between.

Severe injury, grey resort: of course you'd rather be at home, DH goes alone.
Mild injury, gorgeous resort: still a lovely holiday - if you want it to be.

Or…get a copy of “Spare”

Sorry I think you’re being selfish
he can’t make you go, but equally you shouldn’t stop him going (don’t really understand why he wouldn’t go without you)

i don’t enjoy ski ing and have enjoyed many a ‘ski holiday’, I’ve often gone up the mountain to meet them for lunch, pottered about in the lodge, gone swimming and just generally enjoyed the scenery. Unless you’re all hard core there’s normally someone who doesn’t want to ski the odd day for whatever reason or does half a day due to weather or something, plus the evenings will be fun.

but still - up to you if you don’t go but DH will resent you if that stops him from going and enjoying it

For a week??

Where I skied last year (to use an example), it would have cost over 50E to get a taxi to anywhere (and then you'd have to get back), and then it's a standard Italian town - perfectly fine if you live there, but nothing much for visitors. And no interesting shops (even if they were, looking at shops is really not everyone's cup of tea). If you're still where it's snowy in this mythical town, then all the shops are just likely to be overpriced winter sports kit/fashion! Ski resorts are very often miles from anywhere.

Spending ski pass money on having a good time all depends on your definition of a good time, and shopping/coffee shops solo is definitely not everyone's definition of a good time.