Do you have “big bones”?

[SippeeCup]

I’m very depressed about my body. I’m not fat, I actually have a very low body fat percentage but I have a huge skeleton. I’m 5ft 6 so not overly tall but I struggle with fitting into women’s things and it’s making me so depressed. Watches are so tight o have to buy men’s straps. Rings and bracelets I have made on Etsy because shop ones don’t fit me. The wide fit shoe section never have shoes that are actually wide enough for my feet. Hats are always too small. I have to size up in clothes to fit my shoulders and rib cage and pelvis but they hang off my everywhere else. It makes me feel very ugly. I was wondering if anyone else has this issue and can maybe share where they buys things like shoes and jewellery etc?

Sorry but you really don’t know what you’re talking about!

Do you not think bone density/frame is a thing? And different body shapes? Put a 5”2” woman with small hands/feet/wrists etc weighing 10 stone next to a 5”9” woman weighing 10 stone with big hands/feet/wrists next to one another - the smaller one is much more likely to look “fat” don’t you agree? But the taller one is still “big-boned” although they’ll look skinnier - what you weigh doesn’t change your general shape or hand/feet/wrist size and the length of your body and limbs!

Big boned is sometimes used as a polite or deluded way to describe overweight people, I agree - but that isn’t what the genuinely big boned posters here are discussing!

Confession: haven’t RTFT.

Caitlin Moran is very good on this. In ‘How to be a Woman’ she reminded us that, before the fashion industry took hold, women would have their clothes made for them. So first of all everything would fit. Secondly I suppose (but obviously don’t know for sure) you could embrace a trend and go full-on or exaggerate it, or play it down. Far more often you’d be wearing clothes,fabrics and colours that actually suited, rather than what you could find on the rails. You’d have far fewer clothes.

Also OP have you read much about the Kibbe technique? It outlines dressing not only for your frame but also your attitude.
From your photos your physical type reminds me of a young Isobella Rossellini. Considered very beautiful. She oozed confidence. But the polar opposite of someone like, say, Ariadne Grande, or Mia Farrow, or Tilda Swindon. A teeny bit like Charlize Theron though. Who is strong-looking, imho.

I have big/heavy bones despite being a short-arse. I’m 5ft 3, wrist measurement is nearly 7”, size 6.5 feet, big rib cage and quite wide, square shoulders. Narrow hips though so I have an inverted triangle shape despite having small boobs.

People tend to be surprised if I tell them my weight as they expect me to be about 8 stone but I’m considerably heavier than that!

I have low body fat. BMI is in the healthy range but towards the upper end. I don’t worry about it and I don’t weigh myself as a matter of course because I can see with my eyes that I am muscular and not carrying very much fat. My daughter is a similar height to me but about two stones lighter because she has a tiny frame. Little feet, little hands and wrists, slender and willowy and not much muscle, while I am stocky and sturdy.

I don’t have the same problems with clothes as the OP has, except hats, which are usually too small for me.

But he doesn’t look like his bones have changed? He looks like he’s built a shit tonne of muscle mass. That analogy does not in any way prove that everyone’s skeletons are the same.

@pocketvenuss ah, apologies, you were trying to prove they are different 🤦‍♀️

Big boned is sometimes used as a polite or deluded way to describe overweight people, I agree - but that isn’t what the genuinely big boned posters here are discussing!

I remember Billy Connolly’s response to someone overweight claiming that they were jut big boned…

”Aye, and your belly bone is enormous!”

i think it's 50% :)

Why are you discussing body fat? This is a discussion about bones not fat. Doesn't surprise me that you got confused as you admit to not understanding what big bones are. Big bones is not difficult to understand. The clue is in the name. Some people have bigger bones than others. You don't need to turn it into a discussion about fat

I know it's more common in men but yep I'm definitely in this category. Lowish body fat % and in good nick generally, but always very high on BMI based on pure size, not helped by the gym which I enjoy too much to stop.

I do find women's sizing to be crap though, so sympathise OP, menswear accommodates a wide range of builds and often suits someone with more muscle/broad shoulders etc but know from the women in my life that this simply isn't true for their clothes which is ridiculous.

To those who think big-boned is a euphemism for overweight, here is a photo of me. I call myself big-boned on account of my wide ribs, big head, big feet and wrists. I’m heavier than I look. Am I using ‘big-boned’ as a euphemism for overweight?

(I do have a head, I’ve just not included it to preserve some anonymity)

I have a big bellybone l think!

I knew someone who worked in a crematorium, they told me no matter what size a body was, the amount of 'ash' (the remains of the bones) were pretty much the same, with men's being slightly heavier than women.

You’re either fat because you eat too much/ don’t move enough or you’re not. There’s no such thing as ‘big bones’.

I'm not fat, I'm still big boned though. How hard is it to understand really? When my hip bone is jutting out and not covered by any fat, but it is still wide, what exactly is it then?

menswear accommodates a wide range of builds and often suits someone with more muscle/broad shoulders etc

From years accompanying my husband clothes shopping, I’m not sure that this is true. He is tall with broad shoulders and really struggles to find off the peg clothes that fit properly. If they fit on the shoulders, there is usually far too much excess material flapping around his waist, or they aren’t long enough, or both.

People getting all up in arms about about BMI and body fat vs big bones. They are not the same thing. You can have big bones and be underweight and you can have small bones and be carrying excess body fat.

The point is, someone with a bigger broader frame will be bigger with the same body fat % than someone with a small frame.

A 5'5" small framed slim person with 18% body fat may fit a size 6/8 jacket. A 5'5" large boned broad slim person with 18% body fat may never get below a size 10 because the bones in their shoulder are of a width that means they will never fit into a 6-8.

Bones don't equal body fat or BMIS. Bones do affect your overall size.

I don't know about that, but surely it's to do with proportion? As I said above, people of the same sex and height don't necessarily have the same size of feet and hands, so other things will be different sizes too; and my head, feet, shoulders, hands and hips are all bigger/wider than my daughter's, even though she's 3 inches taller.

I thought cremation ashes included the coffin?

There was an interesting AMA on here a few years ago and I think the OP explained that fatter bodies burn better than skinny ones. I don't remember anything about the bones though.

PP are correct that big boned is sometimes used as a euphemism for fat, it doesn't mean that human skeletons come in a range of sizes. I'm a shortie with a large rib cage, big wrists and shoulders and ginormous knees. Even if my BMI was 18 I still wouldn't look dainty.

Doh Human skeletons obviously do come in all shapes & sizes! I know my anatomy, even if I can't proof read!

@SavoirFlair maybe try looking at people or studying some human anatomy?

I'm a former health professional who has been in rooms with dead bodies and I can assure you that skeletons vary in size, and weight, noticeably.

HTH. Or did you just want to be goady cos you're a member of the teeny tiny gang?

My fingers touch, but given that my hands are bigger than most men's, am not sure what that tells us. 😂Ladies gloves don't fit. Bangles never fit. Hats don't fit.

I'm 5 foot 1 but have wide hips and large hands and feet. Even at my slimmest I'm a size 12 on the bottom when my bmi is in the ideal range. I don't like to get too slim as I look so gaunt.

You don't appear to have remarkably big bones in that photo. Normal elbows, hip width, wrists, ankles, feet and hands. You look to have plenty of muscle, but I really don't think you have a large frame or build.

I did of course deliberately choose a flattering photo @LubaLuca! I mean, I know I’m not large, but am not willowy or delicate.

If there is any truth in the wrist measurement idea as mentioned several times in the thread, then I do have quite a large frame. You can’t see my rib cage in the photo as my arms are covering it, but you can usually see the bottom part of my rib cage protruding somewhat. It is wide at the bottom.

There is a difference between being large, and having a large frame. I’m quite a small person but my skeleton is sturdy!

I have friends of a similar height who have similar level of body fat to me, but who are visibly smaller and weigh significantly less than me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Of course people's structures differ. There 2 inches diff on height between my sister and I, so not much. She looks great at a six 8, skinny at a 6, podgy by size 12. I look good as a 10-12, I'd look skinny to gaunt at 8 and might struggled with my hips, could never be a 6. We couldn't share the same anklets or bracelets as my ankles are wider, ankle bone to ankle bone even when I'm slim. Same for wrists. I have small fingers so the wrist test doesn't work.

It's a bit like breasts. I'm actually not that slim now, I'm about the same size as my Mom tho, who's a B cup whilst I'm a G. Even when I was slimmer I was a D cup and my Mom has never got beyond a C even at her largest.

Not everything in life is about if you're "lazy" and "eat too much"