Do you have “big bones”?

[SippeeCup]

I’m very depressed about my body. I’m not fat, I actually have a very low body fat percentage but I have a huge skeleton. I’m 5ft 6 so not overly tall but I struggle with fitting into women’s things and it’s making me so depressed. Watches are so tight o have to buy men’s straps. Rings and bracelets I have made on Etsy because shop ones don’t fit me. The wide fit shoe section never have shoes that are actually wide enough for my feet. Hats are always too small. I have to size up in clothes to fit my shoulders and rib cage and pelvis but they hang off my everywhere else. It makes me feel very ugly. I was wondering if anyone else has this issue and can maybe share where they buys things like shoes and jewellery etc?

DP has skinnier wrists than me. I'm pretty solid though😅 Probably why I was called handsome rather than pretty if anyone ever wanted to make a stab at a compliment about me! I measured my wrist there and it's 6.5 inches, so on the big side. But DP and his four siblings are wiry framed. One of his sisters is very overweight, but you can see she has very small wrists and ankles. A good deal slimmer than mine.

I am tallish but I have large feet, head and hands - even as a teen I found I had to get men's hats, coats and gloves for a proper fit. Things are better now but coats still tend to be too short in the sleeve. I am only 5'8" so not Brienne of tarth.

I have a large frame - which is useful to hang the fat off now I am nearly 50. It has at times made me feel unfeminine even though I am woman shaped. But I also feel strong and am strong, it is definitely a real thing skeletons are not one size fits all.

I'm "well built" and I don't like it. I don't like being "big".
I fit into normal clothes, but am broad shouldered, have big hands and a big head. I can't get hats to fit. Mens hats become in different sizes but women's don't. Why?? I sometimes buy mens hats and put a ribbon, flower etc. on them.
I don't get my reading glasses from the opticians any more, I just buy pretty ones online. I can no longer take the humiliation of the assistant loudly announcing "None of these fit you properly" and being marched off to the men's department.

I have no problem with women being small, but the "I'm a teeny, tiny dainty fairy woman" posts get serious side eye from me, when they act like bigger women have made some sort of terrible, embarrassing error by growing tall and amazonian.

Look at the language you use. Describing yourself as amazonian, but smaller women as teeny tiny, dainty fairy. Why put other people down, especially if you yourself have experienced this. I am 'teeny tiny' but I'd certainly be fighting like a viking alongside you if I had too, because despite my small frame, I'm fit, strong, fast, and not a bloody fairy. Yet it sounds like you'd roll your eyes because you think yourself better.

If this thread is still going in a few days I'll post a photo of my hand against my mother's. She's large framed, I'm small. We both struggle with hand and wrist and footwear, for opposite reasons.

This is me.

I’m 5ft 8 and used to look overweight at 9 1/2 stone. So annoying.

I’m small framed too.
Hats are always too big, bracelets too big, my feet slide around in shoes and my gloves hang off my fingers.
Designers only cater to medium sized people.

No we're not. What in heavens name makes you think we are 🤣

You really struggle to understand a very simple thing here. You have never seen two people of the same height with completely different skeletal structures? Seriously? What weird clone like area do you live in? You have honestly never seen women with teeny tiny rib cages and narrow shoulders, teeny hips and other women with broad frames with massive rib cages and broad hips? I can't take you seriously.

Just look at models irl. They aren't just tall skinny women. They are built differently from most people.

I'm big boned (5'9 and shoe size 9), plus on those wrist measurement things I'm definitely a large at 7.5".

What I've found helpful:
Buy mens' gloves and socks - problem solved for that
Buy mens' hats
Buy mens' shoes such as trainers

I've also sometimes bought from shops which do a "Long" or "Tall" range, and I've once or twice used a seamstress to alter things.

It’s not the designers doing it wrong, it’s the retailers . They pay the designers, and they just want to cater to the middle range as that is where the majority of people sit.

She's not necessarily big boned. She has a lot of muscle mass. I do agree some people gave bigger bones relative to height but often people use someone like Serena Williams. I have no idea stat her bones are big-mess wise. It could just be muscle

This dude for eg. Bones didn't change

I'm astounded that there are fully functioning adults out there who actually believe that every woman (and every man) of a given height have exactly the same bone size. Yep. Everyone who is 5'6" has exactly the same size feet, hands and fingers. They all have exactly the same size heads. Seriously? Even the stats show between 15-20% of women have bigger bones for height and presumably an equal % will have smaller/more delicate bones for height. That's 1 in 5 people if we take the 20% number. If their foot size is different then even the dumbest amongst us will have to extrapolate that other bones in the body will be different sizes. I assume everyone accepts that people have different capacities to grow muscle. Why is it so hard to get your head around the fact that structurally we are all different. This isn't even an argument. Are deniers flat earthers per chance?

Frame size definitely makes a difference. I've got a very narrow frame 5'8, wrist size 15cm and I look best at current BMI of 19, around 9 stone. A BMI of 21 I look really chunky. But it isn't the case for a lot of people with bigger frames who'd probably look unwell with a low normal BMI

I don't understand how someone could think like this.
Do you think that everyone who is the same height has exactly the same size of feet and hands, for example? If you're not sure let me tell you: they don't. And that being the case, why wouldn't other bone sizes vary too?

I'm 5'7" my oldest DD is 5'10".
I have size 7.5 feet, she has size 6. She has lots of funky hats that don't even fit on my head. She's three inches taller than me but clearly there are parts of my skeleton that are bigger than hers.

I don’t know what big boned actually means tbh. You’re either fat because you eat too much/ don’t move enough or you’re not. There’s no such thing as ‘big bones’. Bones are just the structure beneath the fat. I accept people have different body types for sure, some are naturally slimmer than others but in terms of BMI, the bone structure is irrelevant. If your BMI is high it’s mostly because you’re fat (sometimes very muscly but for most this isn’t the case).

I would rather enjoy a big bone.

Yes I know what you mean. I’m only 5ft but Broad shouldered, big hipped etc. I always weight more than people expect, even at my slimmest when I was a size 8-10 I was right at the top end of the BMI acceptable range. My daughter comments that girls in her dance class might look the same size but some are much harder to lift than others. I put it down to body composition and frame.

@CockSpadget shoes are a pita - it has got better but put it this way, we never go shopping in the high street as everything we buy comes from specialist shoe shops and tall retailers (DH 6’5 and size 13 feet)

One of my daughters is much smaller boned that the other, my eldest has broad shoulders and hips and is more solid - she is very powerful. She loves it. My younger DD is much slighter all over, still has big hands and feet but her shoulders are significantly narrower and hips too - she does however have the family bum - we are all blessed in the big round bum department.

I bothered to measure my wrist this morning, which are noticeably bony - 7 inches exactly.

I have to say there are some seriously hard of thinking on this thread…

@SippeeCup if it helps, I think you you look very proportional. I had always felt very self conscious growing up (my mum certainly didn’t help) but as I’ve got older i feel comfortable being strong, and taking my space and actually i like my body now. I have made peace with it, which I think is important for my girls, they’ve never heard me anything but positives about being more robustly buildt that the average UK woman. They seem to be taking it in their stride, despite all of their friends being absolutely tiny (objectively)

My sister and I wear the same size clothes and are the same height. She definitely has big bones though. She has no fat on her, toned. I have a small frame but am very flabby.

I have big rib cage, but I think it's because I have big boobs? At least this is what I like to blame. When I was on wedding dress fitting, I needed to have my dress adjusted around my ribs and tailor said "it happens during pregnancy". I'm only pregnant now with baby no.1 , 2 years after the wedding 😬

It means your frame, e.g. the width of your shoulders would be quite an indicator of your frame size.

OP, I have big bones, I have been all kind of weights from very underweight to overweight but my frame obviously stays the same and for example I don’t think I would ever fit into a size 8 no matter how little fat I had on my body.

I have never had a problem with my bone size to the extent that you mention though.

My wrists are 5¼" 13 cm, palm circumference and hand length are both 17cm. I'm 5'6" 168cm tall, not at all elfin!

People are always surprised that at a dress size 22 I wear a 36 back bra. All my weight is in my belly and chin <eyeroll>

As a teen, I was part of a trio of friends - we were all the same height but had such vastly different body shapes we couldn’t share clothes! None of us were overweight - I was the hourglass, E was the typical slender willow, A had the legs that went on forever.

Bodies are different and I don’t know why so many people seem to struggle to understand that your skeleton might hold a part in that?!