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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you know a decent police officer?

288 replies

Whatistheanswer2023 · 17/01/2023 13:01

AIBU to ask?

My personal experience someone who I went to Uni with who joined the Met. Thank god he got found out.

He bullied me at Uni, picked on me. Attacked me once. I was horrified when he joined the Met. He got kicked out for throwing someone down some stairs and then kicking them.

He moved abroad and now works in the US. Still in enforcement. Honestly a totally evil person. He made one year of my Uni life a misery.

he was racist and a misogynist. Total God Complex too.

Why are people like this allowed into the force then tolerated?

OP posts:
moanybird · 17/01/2023 18:10

We have been unfortunate to need police services a number of times over the past couple of months to assist with our difficult young teen.
Without exception they have all been kind, compassionate and understanding with us as parents whilst being very firm but fair with our DC (who uses aggression). We haven't felt judged and they do our best to help us in difficult circumstances.
The couple of police officers I know on a personal level are decent people.

TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER · 17/01/2023 18:17

The Police Officers I know are decent people. Most are.
There is clearly an issue with vetting and standards within certain forces and has been for a long time… I know of more than one person who failed to be selected to get in to our local force so applied to the met “as they take anyone”. They did get accepted as well. This was around 1998/2000.

SoShallINever · 17/01/2023 18:19

One of the nicest, kindest, calmest people I know is head of a Police firearms unit. A complete gentleman.

One of the nastiest men I've ever met was a police inspector, who loved telling racist jokes at parties and threatened to thump my DH for not laughing.

I guess they slip through the net.

confessionstoday · 17/01/2023 18:22

Unfortunately I've met quite a few in recent years and can say that only 1 of those officers was kind and professional towards me when I was the person being accused. The other officers were arrogant and unprofessional and ultimately didn't know the law.

limitedperiodonly · 17/01/2023 18:42

IDGAF how many nice police officers people know. The fact is that David Carrick should never have been allowed to join the police in the first place. He had two allegations amounting to violence and harassing a woman against him. That should make any interviewer choose someone else.

The reason that he was and continued in employment after at least nine complaints about him and was even given a gun suggests to me that The Met doesn't give a shit about women's safety.

Likewise the decision to allow him to continue in his job after an allegation of rape against him in 2021 following the murder of Sarah Everard by the Met officer Wayne Couzens. I can't work out whether it was stupid or arrogant or both. I suspect both, given the Met's brutal response to women protesting at Clapham Common about Sarah's murder. I can only imagine that Plod's thought that evening was: "He's a bad 'un but he's our bad un." In consequence Met Commissioner Dame Cressida Dick deserved to walk the plank and it's only now that her sacking by London Mayor Sadiq Khan makes sense. Carrick and Dick were both being protected by reporting restrictions over his trial so it made people, like the Daily Mail, ask: "Why is Khan being so horrid?" Those papers are keeping quiet about it now but knew why.

Anyone bleating: "Ooh! But it's so difficult isn't it? They were just allegations. People say horrid things about the police" isn't being as helpful as they think.

I hesitate to tell other people how to do their jobs but you don't have to be Miss Marple to join the dots. The multiple allegations against David Carrick showed marked similarities which showed he was interested in control and violence. Once police (not the Met but the neighbouring force in Hertfordshire) looked into it they turned up astoundingly similar accounts from his unrelated victims. Like beatings, rapes - vaginal, oral and anal. Rapes with dildos. Choking on his dick. Pissing in their mouth. Locking them naked in a cupboard, forbidding them to speak to their children, starving them etc. Like I said, you don't have to be Miss Marple to join the dots but you do have to wonder why the Met were so relaxed about this police officer in their midst and so uncurious about expelling him.

KarmaStar · 17/01/2023 18:42

It is very concerning that getting standards are being lowered to enable certain people access the police force and it's powers and authority .This needs to stop and previous high settings put back into place.
However,yes,I know dozens of decent,honest,brave,hard working,committed officers who are equally,if not more so,upset by all of the unlawful acts carried out by police officers.The job takes everything out of you and to see the public's view of the police force become toxic due to a few evil monsters is devastating.

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 17/01/2023 18:49

Yes, I know 3.
One is quite high up. They have been on tv quite a bit, not just police camera action, but the Chase too 😂 outing. Very strange watching them. I actually think they should be a comedian as out of uniform they are bloody hilarious.

One chap I went to school with. He’s actually been on police camera action sort of program too.

A friend who was a firefighter, got redundancy and joined the force. He’s a motorcycle cop.

All decent people who I’ve known for years. All similar connections and friends. Bloody amazing at their jobs.

LizzieW1969 · 17/01/2023 18:50

I do have friends who were police officers, they have retired now. They’re lovely people, and they’re to serve their communities. I’m sure there are many more like them.

However, that’s anecdotal obviously. It’s obvious that there are sadly many others who are not like that. 1000 officers being investigated for sexual and domestic offences is a lot and not just a few bad apples!

Fleabigg · 17/01/2023 18:51

I know a wonderful police officer. She’s a woman though.

FamilyFunAdventure · 17/01/2023 18:53

Did you ask how many nice GPs people knew after Harold Shipman, nurses after Beverley Allitt or taxi drivers after John Worboys?

limitedperiodonly · 17/01/2023 18:54

There's rumoured to be another of these cases due to land in February or March. Because of the same reporting restrictions that covered the murderer Wayne Couzens and the rapist David Carrick until the last minute no details can be told. But I hear it's not good for The Met and wider policing.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 17/01/2023 18:59

I have two police friends. One male, one female. I'd trust both with my life, my kids, everything. We aren't related if that's what you think.

But neither are in the MET.

ScreamingBeans · 17/01/2023 19:00

I know one but she's a woman

LexMitior · 17/01/2023 19:03

Yes. Brother in law. He is sensible guy who understands why there are problems and does not hide from them or pretend that all is well. He knows it is not.

Jellykat · 17/01/2023 19:06

I know 3... 2 of them are married to each other, t'other is a female relative.
All really lovely kind people, but none of them are in the MET

itreallyhastostop · 17/01/2023 19:07

I went to university with someone. At the end of year one he had no girlfriends. When we returned for the start of year two he was engaged and he got married within two months.

He was a narcisstic bully, abusive to her and other women, and very hot headed; he would storm out if he didn't get his way with everything including the daily stuff of living with someone but also at University. I remember we had to work in threes and he got outvoted 2 to 1 about a small element of group work. He had a massive tantrum, said we were both useless (both women), stormed out, wouldn't speak to us for weeks and we failed the assignment.

His marriage didn't last long. I think he's on marriage three or four now.

He joined the police force after university, which is bad enough with his personality defects. But he then trained to use a gun within the force and that's still what he specialises in. Absolutely horrifying that someone who was so hot-headed wasn't weeded out before being trained to legally use lethal weapons. We were all horrified and remain so. I wouldn't be surprised at all to see him on the News one day in the capacity of shooting before he thought the situation through. Or as a rapist or abuser.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 17/01/2023 19:13

My DFIL was a police officer for many years. He's a wonderful man, and even he despairs of the shower of shit the 'service' has become...

DdraigGoch · 17/01/2023 19:14

There are 164,000 police officers in the UK. The bad ones are a tiny minority.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 17/01/2023 19:15

I know lots, male and female.

AlwaysAReason · 17/01/2023 19:15

Yes.
That said, I think certain jobs with real or perceived "power" attract certain people.

LikeTearsInRain · 17/01/2023 19:15

The people I knew from childhood who have ended up in the Police were all massive knobs

figmaofmyimagination · 17/01/2023 19:17

Yes, several of my friends are police officers and hard working, decent, brave people I am proud to know.

Wauden · 17/01/2023 19:19

In answer to your question, OP, from my limited experience, I know of a good woman PC.

QOD · 17/01/2023 19:21

I know a (retired young) female one who was brilliant but to be fair always part time ... which i think is key. Its utterly soul destrying

another friends dh is one and hmmmm Not convinced he is that great - they let a LOT of stuff go. Villains and bad cop things - because of the paperwork

lljkk · 17/01/2023 19:26

I am pretty sure I've met a lot of definitely nasty people who were NOT police officers. No concerns about the police officers I have known (male & female).