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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do you know a decent police officer?

288 replies

Whatistheanswer2023 · 17/01/2023 13:01

AIBU to ask?

My personal experience someone who I went to Uni with who joined the Met. Thank god he got found out.

He bullied me at Uni, picked on me. Attacked me once. I was horrified when he joined the Met. He got kicked out for throwing someone down some stairs and then kicking them.

He moved abroad and now works in the US. Still in enforcement. Honestly a totally evil person. He made one year of my Uni life a misery.

he was racist and a misogynist. Total God Complex too.

Why are people like this allowed into the force then tolerated?

OP posts:
ThisAgainForTheMillionthTime · 17/01/2023 15:30

I know 4, only 1 is what I would consider a good person.
1 has a god-complex and is quite narcissistic and very homophobic, the other is arrogant and irritable all of the time and homophobic and the other is a woman and is a lazy can’t be bothered type. I don’t know any of them through choice - a mixture of relatives and neighbours.

Untitledsquatboulder · 17/01/2023 15:31

All the police I've had to do with (in the UK) have been fine. The ones I know personally are great. Those who I know well enough to discuss it with will all admit that the profession attracts some unsavory characters though, and that others just get very jaded and lose their compassion for the people they are dealing with, or just burn out.

tuvamoodyson · 17/01/2023 15:33

I don’t know any police officers. I do know some horrible HCP’s (40 years in the NHS) who recruits them? There’s good and bad everywhere.

Anoisagusaris · 17/01/2023 15:34

One of the nicest men I know is a police officer, as was his father who is also lovely.

SkippyKangeroo · 17/01/2023 15:39

Just having a think , I have known seven

six blokes, four of whom were racist, misogynistic bigots , one that was the school bully, and one that is generally a superior, arrogant twat.

The woman was an unrepentant racist , held quite a senior position but treated black people like savages that needed training. Awful, awful person.

I am very suspicious of people that want to join the police or armed forces. There seems to be a need for power, to exercise some form of violence, control and aggression in an accepted environment.

Francisca459 · 17/01/2023 15:40

Yes, I have known two Drug Squad officers in Northern England for many years- both men. They are great people and not any kind of "ist".
I also know a uniformed officer who I've known for years who is a great guy and would help anybody. All three are very good people.

OopsAnotherOne · 17/01/2023 15:41

I know two men and one woman, all of whom I value incredibly highly as people.

The woman works higher up in a desk job (for lack of a better description) but the two male officers work on the ground.

The woman is in her 50s, very friendly, helpful, welcoming, selfless and incredibly involved within the community in which we live. Very few people know her profession but she is loved regardless due to her kind nature.

The two men are close friends of mine. One is in my friendship group of regular people we spend time with and the other lives halfway across the country but I know very well through a hobby we both share, have spent weekends together doing the hobby and often communicate online.

In my opinion, both are great guys. Very fair, reasonable, laid back and non-aggressive. Both men, for different reasons, look the opposite of someone you'd expect when imagining a police officer. I have never seen any concerning or red-flag behaviour when spending time with either of them, both around other people or towards myself. The men have never made misogynistic or sexual jokes in the presence of myself or my partner (even when it was just the men without any women there, where "lad's chat" had the opportunity to arise). I would genuinely trust them both and I often find it hard to trust men due to past experiences.

Of course I cannot, for sure, know how these three police officers treat people behind closed doors. However, I have never had the slightest gut-instinct that any of these three are anything other than decent members of the force with respectable values. I do also understand that these three officers might be three of the "good ones" in a profession where there are several bad apples.

BirmaBrite · 17/01/2023 15:46

The ones who I have met whilst working have been normal, decent and actually really compassionate people as far as I could tell, except one who was a bit odd.

The ones who I have dealt with on a personal level have all been great, especially a really nice traffic officer who attended an accident I was involved in. Hope he got the dogs he wanted when he retired.

Rainbowtriangles · 17/01/2023 15:55

I know/know of 3 - one absolutely lovely woman, and sadly two horrific, abusive, awful men. Racism, homophobia, coercive control, abuse, drug use… I could go on. I dread to think of how they might treat the vulnerable people they may come into contact with.

Sadly I’ve also had poor experiences with police who I don’t know on a personal level, although I suspect some of this was due to the justice system being poor itself. I’m sure there are many great people who join the police for the right reasons, but this is easily overshadowed by the ‘bad eggs’.

cravingtoblerone · 17/01/2023 15:55

I think there are two types of people who become police officers:

  1. People who are attracted by the idea of serving the community and doing something worthy

  2. People who are attracted by the idea of power and control over others.

Met a fair few of group A and they were all outstanding people.

Met a number of group B and they were all nasty little shits...

PoIIyPandemonium · 17/01/2023 16:05

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Cileymyrus · 17/01/2023 16:11

tuvamoodyson · 17/01/2023 15:33

I don’t know any police officers. I do know some horrible HCP’s (40 years in the NHS) who recruits them? There’s good and bad everywhere.

That’s reminded me of when I used to be on a&e. Really bullying nurses who would stomach wash out and stitch without local to “teach” self harmers a lesson.

even when I was in having my kids there was an awful bullying culture toward women.

ime the police are moving on, and trying for a better culture. The nhs is so entrenched in a martyr culture no one wants to change anything, it’s too much effort.

thefatpotato · 17/01/2023 16:21

I only know one police officer and he's a genuinely wonderful man. One of the few men I know who I would be happy to have host a play date with my daughter (his daughter and mine are good friends).

I would like to think I have a good gut sense about people and I always feel calm and relaxed in his company.

Dontevenstart · 17/01/2023 16:35

I think, much like the army, that there are obviously more than a few who are decent, caring people. There are obviously more than a few who are somewhat dickish. There are obviously more than a few who are potential Couzens and Caddicks. I think the point is that when they’re bad, by the nature of what the job is and the personality types it attracts, they’re really fucking bad.
I know two police officers, both are acquaintances with whom I’m on good terms but I am well aware that they’re bullies.

Minikievs · 17/01/2023 16:44

Yes. He's wonderful and I love him.

He can't stand police officers, despite being one, and thinks on the whole that they're racist, sexist, mindless bullies, they all have affairs with each other, and they're all obsessed with the job and the power it gives them.

FamilyFunAdventure · 17/01/2023 17:29

I’ve worked previously just with civilians for the police for over 15 years, this last 12 months I have work directly as a civilian with 45-50 neighbourhood officers. The whole team (2/3 male, 1/3 female approx) are great and I trust them all implicitly. They are all conscientious and every day do their upmost to help the communities they police.

JoonT · 17/01/2023 17:30

My experience has been overwhelmingly positive. The two officers who turned up the night my dad died (suddenly at home) were polite, kind, decent men. The older male officer who took me to the station for an interview was thoroughly decent as well. And so were the officers I met while I was there. My cousin was in the Met and is a good, honourable man. And the officer who lived opposite my friend was a good guy too. Actually, I have never met a bad one.

We should be careful not to run them down too much. If you do, morale will plummet and the best will leave. Don’t underestimate how violent and corrupt the police are in a lot of countries. And I’m not just talking about poor/developing countries. Even in rich places the police are often dreadful.

Also, considering the vermin they sometimes deal with, it’s amazing they remain so professional. Think of those little **s who dragged that policeman behind their car, causing his (horrific) death. After their arrest, as they left the station, the press photographed them laughing and making faces. Imagine dealing with people like that all day!

Dailydripfed · 17/01/2023 17:46

Most of them are twats, and the ones who aren’t twats soon leave once they realise they’re surrounded by twats.

CaitCannoli · 17/01/2023 17:47

Loads, odd you think it’s likely people don’t know one good police officer when the vast majority are perfectly fine human beings

mirty · 17/01/2023 17:47

I know two decent ones, yeah.

I do think we ask too much of them.

Be tough and ready to physically tackle crime.

Be sensitive and ready to deal with victims.

Be MH trained and able to help anyone with anything.

Be intelligent and solve problems.

Work endless shifts and live unhealthy lifestyles, often experiencing the worst that society has to offer all the time.

THEDEACON · 17/01/2023 17:51

YABVU There are LOTS of decent police officers

fatsinglereadytomingle · 17/01/2023 17:53

I know a lot of decent police officers...I also know a few absolute arseholes. The number of good cops (male and female) far outweigh the bad one.

There are bad people in all work places you only hear more about bad police officers because of the job they do.

NoNewsIsGoodNews · 17/01/2023 18:04

I have met many decent met police officers through my work.

However I am very aware that my liaison with them is with me being a middle-class professional working alongside them. I suspect if I were a young black male, my experiences may not have been as good.

Our experience of police is a function of our own demographics and characteristics of course, and the situation in which we find ourselves at that point.

StrawberryWater · 17/01/2023 18:05

I’ve properly known 4 police officers over the years.

  1. My grandfather - An arsehole. Nothing criminal though. Just a mean spirited old fart.

  2. Some guy my friend met on a night out. They dated for 3 months and she spent most of it crying her eyes out. He was ex army and just liked to get in peoples faces and flaunt his authority and power. Really aggressive type.

  3. Someone I met on a night out while at uni (went to a uni with a policing college attached so we met a lot of them out and about). Begged me for ages to go out with him. I said no for months and then relented. BIG MISTAKE. Worlds biggest dickhead and treated me like shit. He spent all of our date chatting up every woman going, telling me he could have them if he wanted (even going so far as to describe how easy it is to date rape someone) and was very grabby. I had a lucky escape.

  4. The loveliest guy you could ever meet. Would literally throw himself in harms way to help you.

thunderstruckk · 17/01/2023 18:10

I've met and know many decent police officers. Some friends, some work colleagues (ex police officers) and some friends partners. I don't know any bad ones as far as I know!