Do you know a decent police officer?

[Whatistheanswer2023]

AIBU to ask?

My personal experience someone who I went to Uni with who joined the Met. Thank god he got found out.

He bullied me at Uni, picked on me. Attacked me once. I was horrified when he joined the Met. He got kicked out for throwing someone down some stairs and then kicking them.

He moved abroad and now works in the US. Still in enforcement. Honestly a totally evil person. He made one year of my Uni life a misery.

he was racist and a misogynist. Total God Complex too.

Why are people like this allowed into the force then tolerated?

DD and I had a chat about this last night. She is a lawyer although not criminal. She does have involvement with the police from time to time. In her field of work, she mostly finds them good and competent with a strong sense of professionalism.

However there are issues we agreed on. The police seems to attract some who like power snd a uniform. Add in guns and it’s a toxic mix. It’s 1009 possible offences and complaints that the Met is investigating. It won’t just be the Met either. Look at the crap South Yorkshire put up with.

We also thought it’s inconceivable Chief officers don’t know it’s like this. They were in the canteen once upon a time. They have overseen recruitment and discipline policies. They seem too close to the misdemeanours to recognise them. Hopefully the Met can get to the bottom of this for public confidence. Other forces too. However if they cannot be bothered to vet regularly and act on info, heaven help us. We don’t have a professional police force. We have a force that looks after it’s own. And give them guns.

@PizzaPastaWine have you ever tried reporting a police officer or police abuse to the police?

If you had, you would not be calling anyone here complicit.

The officers at the coal face do nothing either through fear, complacency or because it’s not worth the hassle to them, so you’ll pardon me if I don’t go out of my way to help them do the right thing.

I envy people on here who have never been on the receiving end of police abuse. You have no idea what fear is until you realise that the people you have been taught since childhood are the good guys who will save you, are the ones terrorising you.

I am a lawyer and I found the police to be most professional when they know I am.

As a complainant, they were insulting. I assume because it was because I did not have a penis.

Quite eye opening. Police grade you very quickly. And act accordingly

I know five police officers - 4 from one force, and another from a neighbouring force. Neither the Met

the 4 from one force, two are male and I would consider them friends although they’ve been around the block a few times with their female colleagues - but I’ve known them both something like 15 years and they seemed to have calmed down a bit. It seems affairs in the police between colleagues is utterly rampant.

two female coppers, both lovely lovely women - but both speak about toxicity in force. And one of them has lots of flings with colleagues and been treated like utter shit. She’s now resigned from the force.

the other male officer is a senior detective working in sexual crimes and is fairly dull but nice enough.

however, not one of them ever have anything good to say to about the armed units. It seems you have to be a certain type of person to be a firearms officer. And whilst excellent at assessing the situation in a split second, as far as personalities go, it’s definitely a certain type and they have the arrogance to go with it. After all isn’t being an armed officer the ultimate power? And it’s absolutely no coincidence both Carrick and Couzems were armed officers working for diplomatic and parliamentary protection

however, not one of them ever have anything good to say to about the armed units. It seems you have to be a certain type of person to be a firearms officer. And whilst excellent at assessing the situation in a split second, as far as personalities go, it’s definitely a certain type and they have the arrogance to go with it. After all isn’t being an armed officer the ultimate power? And it’s absolutely no coincidence both Carrick and Couzems were armed officers working for diplomatic and parliamentary protection

I wonder if armed police are a bit like surgeons- have to have such confidence and arrogance because anyone who actually thinks about the job with any ounce of humanity wouldn’t do it.

The very real chance that a split second decision and you could take someone’s life- that takes a special kind of personality, and an ability to dehumanise your patient/target.

I don’t know any police officers but that news story a while ago about the one dragged behind the stolen car and basically skinned alive still haunts me. He looked like such a lovely man, his young widow was devastated and friends said how decent he was. He died in such a horrible way at the hands of criminal scum not fit to lick his boots. I’m pretty sure there are good, decent officers in the police force. The Met seems corrupt and toxic though.

@Cileymyrus - a lot of them are ex Army.

The Army has some similarities with the treatment of women. They can be very similar places and it's an easy transfer.

So a dr that sexually assaults patients www.mpts-uk.org/hearings-and-decisions/medical-practitioners-tribunals/dr-mohammad-adnan-nazeer-sept-22 or murders them (Shipman) is not as bad as a police officer? Is that what you’re implying?
You knew one ex met officer and know of a friend’s sister’s husband so you could say you don’t actually know any current officers yourself. But your experience of an ex years ago and one sided anecdotes from a friend regarding her brother in law means all officers are evil. I know about 50 officers well as I have worked alongside them for the last year and they are all without exception good people doing a very difficult job but don’t listen to me or the other posts that are positive as your two officers - one of whom isn’t even in the uk - must be a more accurate representation.

A problem is the "family" idea of the police force. Another is The Job where it's only you and your brother officers, and it is overwhelmingly brother officers, who can understand The Job.

There is a lot to be said for work camaraderie. There is also a lot to be said for leaving it behind at the end of the shift, talking to your wife/girlfriend/partner and then clocking in tomorrow.

Don't tell me it's too difficult to talk to people who don't understand. It's actually too easy to assume people won't just because they ask you to explain and too easy to rely on those who not only never ask questions but always back you up.

They are always there. That's how affairs start too.

Many jobs are like that. Mine is. But it's a trap.

I know loads. Two of them are Met.

It's a matter for yourself @OOver40Overdating.

I'm sure out of the tens of thousands of officers in the UK I'm sure there is more than one decent one that would not terrorise you.

It's a shame that your experiences have led you to feel the way that your have but stopping this type of person requires both the police themselves and people that are aware/experiencing it.

I'm decent! I work with many many decent cops, many are men too. I'm not in the met si can't comment. I've worked in two diff forces and have reported dodgy behaviour behaviour as have my male colleagues. You have to remember that the UK has thousands of police so please don't assume we are all bad. My heart sinks when something else happens and I cam understand why people worry about reporting to the police. However, I've had really bad experiences on a number of occasions within the NHS and I'd still call my Dr of I needed to.
Having said all this, I've always said there needs to be a new way that officers are investigated. For instance, imo officers under investigation for anything should not be investigated by their own force, it should be a different one entirely so there is transparency

I know two excellent ones who got into policing to help people. Both of them I trust completely.

The big news stories lately are met police in particular. Does anyone know someone decent in met police?

This hits the nail on the head.

Most rapists and murderers don’t hit national news and often are only covered in 1 or 2 news reports locally. Most of the time, the media isn’t interested in their profession if they’re an account or a gardener. ‘Rapist factory worker’ doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, does it?
There were 13 murders in the relatively small town I live in in 2021. Only one of those made national news. Only one of those made any sort of reference to what the suspects do with their job.

The media hate police and therefore everytime something like this happens, it is hugely reported with huge emphasis on the profession.

There are bad apples in every single job. That doesn’t make it okay but do people not see how hypocritical they’re being when they say every police officer is awful/racist/sexist whatever?

Yes, my best friends husband is a police officer. He is very kind and genuine.

You can’t paint everyone with the same brush.

No, the people I know who became police officers were all horrendous individuals. Bullies mainly, I guess that's why they chose the job? I guess there must be the odd "good apple" out there but the overwhelming majority are terrible.

I'm genuinely surprised that people seem shocked when (yet) another police officer is found to be a murderer, rapist or general piece of shit. To me it's not headline news and certainly isn't a shock - I just think, of course they are. Maybe I'm a little surprised that they've actually been found out and prosectuted, but not that they've committed a crime.

Yes.

I'm not in the police but I know about 12 police officers, male and female. 1 male is a bit superior and patronising but the others are all very lovely, honest thoroughly decent folk who I'd trust 100%.

Dp's best friend is a police officer. He spent his formative yrs dealing with domestic violence. He's now in the armed response unit. I do think the job15 yrs in has jaded him.

I know many, including 2 close family members.
It's the same as growing up, all the priests and nuns we knew were the kindest, caring humans ever.
Stereotyping is a very bad thing.

Like lots of vocational professions, I think often people who are drawn to them are the other side of the same coin as the people they work with and sometimes, the same side, just unknowing.

I find it shocking that a lot of police are allowed to keep their jobs despite being convicted of crimes.

I think that a lot of the stats are police who have been accused of crimes. If you've gone to jail I don't think you'd keep your police job.

I dont' think labour laws allow someone to be sacked because of what someone else has accused them of. Perhaps they can make a rule that they lose all pension rights if they are accused of something and are found guilty and didn't admit it at the time.

I know a retired police detective who is a lovely bloke. I don't currently know any past or present uniformed officers. We had one as a neighbour when I was a kid, and I don't remember there being any suggestion that he wasn't a nice bloke (my mum certainly encouraged me to get him to sign my passport photo when I was about 18, which she wouldn't have done if she had the slightest doubts about him, as she was very over-protective).

In every walk of life you have people with mixed motivations, including the police.

There has just been a suicide of a Chief Inspector in the Met who appears to have been a paedophile. According people status blindly is not a good idea.

Apparently a nice guy. It's not all armed police who are a problem.