Settle a household debate - having a drink and being in charge of kids

[DuffLite]

How much would you say is fine to drink if you were “in charge” of your kids on say a Saturday night. All already fed and nobody needing to go out so no requirement to cook etc - everyone just chilling out for the evening, doing their own thing

@3points

”Some parents get drunk with their children at home but it's not great you don't get to enjoy your drink as you will feel guilty the next day. Life changes so much after children, the old you is forever gone. The sooner you accept this and embrace motherhood the better it is for everyone.”

why on earth would you feel guilty the next day?!

and speak for yourself! I know loads of women who are still themselves after becoming a mum.

How miserable to think you can’t have a life any more just cos you have kids! nah!

Lots do yes

Quite sad that it's so important for you to have a proper drink. If you want a proper drink get a babysitter. I wouldn't be comfortable drinking anything while in charge of a 1 yo. They're so vulnerable at that age. Unless there's another sober adult at home I wouldn't risk it.

Not entirely sure what you mean but this is a debate I was having with my partner.

Debate or argument??

Obviously your partner is unhappy with the amount you drink around your kids and you are very defensive.

Both = that you obviously drink too much and it’s affecting your ability to be a good parent.

I’d drink half a bottle of wine or a couple of G&T’s. I wouldn’t drink if either of my children are ill though as I wouldn’t like to risk having to deal with them in the night feeling a little fuzzy.

The drink driving limit isn’t an issue for me as the hospital is only a few minutes away, I can see it from my back windows. There is also a taxi rank a couple of minutes away so I could be there in less than 15 minutes in an emergency without having to drive.

😂

My mum was a “happy” drunk and I remember it very well as a small child. She’d never be abusive or emotional, but she’d be giggly and a bit silly as she was putting us to bed. I hated it so much - it’s like it wasn’t my mum but this stranger who was (to my mind) unpredictable and just ‘different’. It was really unsettling.

It didn’t happen loads - maybe once a month or every 6 weeks… but it’s made me very cautious about social drinking around my own kids. Once they’re in bed I’ll have a couple of glasses of wine but I don’t ever get drunk with them in the house.

Being a mother isn’t a life ruiner no it’s not it’s a life changer where you become less selfish and less self absorbed and oht your little people that you chose to have above yourself and your alcohol needs/ needs of any kind. Their upbringing mental health and everything inbetween should
come above any alcohol.

Pearl clutching was over years ago and it was shit then. Describing it as 'cringe' is a little pot/kettle.

Plus you're on the wind up.

Similar experience here. Had a friend around and she was like "Your parents are so drunk!". I hadn't really thought it was out of the ordinary until then. She actually thought it was funny... But I guess it might be if you weren't the one living with it!

I actually don't really drink any more now and can count on one hand the number of times my DC have seen me drinking anything (and then it would only be one glass!).

At those ages, if I was on my own I wouldn't drink any alcohol.

See I’d say emotional/abusive/capable are all very subjective. I’ve met lots of drunk people who’ve thought they were capable of things in that moment that they absolutely weren’t.

Those ages only one of us would drink. Most time we wouldn't bother as too worried about not hearing the baby or toddler.

Surely the test of whether they are capable of X is if they manage to do X

You don’t see anything wrong with getting ‘pretty pissed’ with a 1yr old there. Sorry but I don’t think you can genuinely think that’s ok? I’d say half a bottle of wine or so is ok, if you need to be in charge of kids. If the 1yr old is crying in the night or one of the other kids wakes up vomiting which happens of course when you’ve got kids how can you deal with it when you’re pretty pissed?

In sole charge of my kids I didn't drink in case i had to take them to hospital.
When hubby or family with me, one of us doesnt drink.

As entertaining as this thread has been, I'd rather watch Love Island to be honest... with UNLIMITED CIDER of course, because OP said it's fine as long as I remain emotionless and non-abusive.

Have a cracking night lads xx and i'll try not to throw my empty cider cans at the telly when I lose it.

This is interesting as I can’t relate

My parents were also happy drunks (not abusive or angry or cryers etc thankfully - that’s not good). They’d just be more silly, more exaggerated and louder versions of themselves

We found it fun/funny

And then they’d maybe fall asleep!

No harm done

Depends so much on the person. Some people are useless in a crisis without a drink, others are fantastic in a crisis even after multiple drinks. Some people turn nasty after a couple of drinks, others are barely altered or just more relaxed. It's so hard to make a blanket rule for something which does depend a lot on the person

Absolutely love a thread where OP asks for opinions, then doesn't like the answers they get then proceeds to argue why they're right 😅

1 drink of a single spirit and mixer or small can of fruit cider (maybe 2 at an absolute push) would be my limit unless DH was sober and present.

Honestly you sound like a right idiot. The way you're talking to posters and honestly thinking its OK to get shit faced when looking after children is pathetic. No its not OK. 6 cans is too many imo but you shouldn't be drunk when looking after kids.

People do things every day just in case of something bad happening. Like locking doors, wearing seatbelts, wearing life jackets on boats, making sure we're capable of looking after our children.

Can you imagine your kid needing A&E and you turn up shitfaced, or not at all because you're not with it enough to realise they need a doctor.

If you want to get pissed you get a baby sitter.

Who’s measuring how well they do X? The drunk person themselves?

anyway, this is either a wind up or I feel for your children.

not pearl clutching at all, very level headed and enjoy a drink - but what you describe with such young children is not normal at all. It’s pretty sad.

Abuse absolutely can be subjective. How many ciders is “too many” then? How many before you couldn’t look after your young children because you were too drunk? Six cans of dark fruits is what, 12 units? You reckon you should be having more than almost the weekly recommended limit a NIGHT while looking after babies

Surely the test of whether they are capable of X is if they manage to do X

🤔

"No harm done" on a thread where you're asking strangers if being regularly pissed on cider with a 1 year old baby is okay 🙄