Settle a household debate - having a drink and being in charge of kids

[DuffLite]

How much would you say is fine to drink if you were “in charge” of your kids on say a Saturday night. All already fed and nobody needing to go out so no requirement to cook etc - everyone just chilling out for the evening, doing their own thing

And yet you're still ignoring the people asking your what the other person's view was?

Your partner is worried about your drinking around the children then.

Another tick box on the 'do I have a drinking problem' quiz. Maybe have a think about whether your drinking is healthy for you.

Their view was maybe 6 or so cans of cider was the limit

(We are cider drinkers)

Now I know you're taking the piss

Mine too. Every Saturday night they would drink to the point of slurring, unsteady on their feet, etc. Hungover the next day. I hated it, and it wasn't until I was in secondary school when a MC friend of mine said that she'd never seen her parents drunk that I questioned it. I wasn't raised by the Gallaghers in Shameless but it made me feel pretty trashy that this experience was commonplace for me and my cousins.

Fast forward thirty years and although I probably drink 3 nights a week, my kids have never seen me drunk. And I hope they never do.

Yup, same.

White Lightning or.....???

If I was in charge of very young children, I wouldn't drink much at all. Maybe a couple of drinks.

If I was in charge of slightly older children, maybe I would have three-four drinks. I would never be anywhere near drunk if I was in charge of children.

If you want to drink a lot, you need to get a trusted babysitter.

Riiiiight 🙄

I hope you’re sharing the responses on this thread with your partner to augment the ‘debate’ OP

No. Don’t be ridiculous. We like dark fruits type berry ciders

How is not being able get completely shitfaced whenever one wants a life ruiner/ender? I'm not being goady, I'm genuinely asking.

When we became parents, we both acknowledged there would be things we wouldn't be able to do in the same way anymore. Like, maybe I don't work away for weeks at a time anymore and maybe he doesn't practice the drums at 2:00am anymore. I could still work away and he could still practice the drums, but not in the same way. I don't see how this is any different.

If you're so drunk you couldn't deal with an emergency (like finding a child unconscious on the floor of the bathroom and needing to have the presence of mind to put them in the recovery position or perform CPR) then yes, people might gauge that to be an unwise choice.

Why does an adult's right to get drunk trump a child's right to a safe home?

I can’t believe the people equating someone who’s main drink is cider with white lightening etc

Snobs!

Why do I feel like after reading your responses that your the kind that likes to get drunk without a care.

me and my partner don’t drink very much and we won’t drink around our child who is one or his 9 year old.

i think for the 1 and 2.5 year old
you shouldn’t have anywhere near enough that would alter your performance or behaviour around your or anyone else’s children they know and notice and can sense things and the 9yo always voices what he doesn’t like etc so he certainly would aboht drinking.

also what would happen in an emergency? See I’m happy to get drunk while my child
is not in my care as is my partner cause we leave our child with someone we can trust and who would be able to go to the hospital etc if needed until we were fit enough to be present.

i don’t think your going to get the answers you want with the attitude you have. Im
all for having a life and living but a lot of alcohol around children isn’t it in my opinion

i think you you might have an alcohol problem. 6 cans is excessive

What's wrong with White Lightning? Sounds like you're the snob DuffLite 😂

Go on then op, the other person says 6 cans max. What do you think?

A drink or two… very subjective. Some people’s two glasses of wine is two thirds of a bottle. I prefer to drink nothing if I’m going to drive which removes that subjectivity.
www.mygov.scot/drink-drive-limit-scotland#:~:text=Scotland%20has%20a%20zero%20tolerance%20approach%20to%20drink%20driving.

However this is a totally different debate to how much to drink when looking after children.

We live in London and don’t have a car, but I’d have 2 smallish glasses of wine maximum. I don’t really drink more than that on my own or at home anyway (assuming ‘in charge’ meaning the only adult in this context).

No more than the drink drive limit. You should never "have a proper drink" when in charge of kids. You should never be drunk when in charge of kids. If you're not safe to drive then you shouldn't be in charge of kids. Sleeping or otherwise.

We tag team, even with a young teen. If DP is having a few and getting merry I'll keep it to a couple, and him the same for me. I wouldn't dream of both of us getting noticeably drunk in the presence of DC. Those are our own personal boundaries and what makes us feel effective as parents, but each to their own!

As much as you like as long as you’re not being abusive, emotional etc and as long as you get everyone to bed in a good way etc (bearing in mind they’ve already been fed, and the smallest ones will be put to bed when only a few drinks in)

I saw my dad drunk once on his 40th birthday and I still remember every second of it. It was horrible. He puked up everywhere then fell over and I thought he was going to die. I was 11, so not daft.

We’re not big drinkers so we don’t really drink at night but I’d never be drunk in front of the kids because it’s a bit bloody grim, isn’t it? Think what it’s like when you do to a nightclub sober and everyone is kaylied. It’s horrible. Kids don’t want to be seeing that, especially when the drunk people are much bigger than them.

This.

I think there have been studies that have shown, contrary to popular opinion, that giving your children alcohol at home actually increases the chances of them abusing alcohol when they're older.

I grew up with alcoholic parents who weren't actually alcoholics though because they "only drank wine" 🙄

I saw daily wine drinking as normal... It definitely contributed to my period of alcohol dependence.