Unfair splitting of dinner bill by couple

[NazMedusa]

Went for dinner for a friend's birthday who we hadn't seen for a while and who had come all the way down from another city. This friend has had a rough year so we were treating her to dinner.

Male friend at the last minute asked if he could bring his wife along as she really wanted to join us. Fine but a bit annoying as she's not really a part of this friendship group that we'd formed 15 years ago at work but we've spent enough time with her as he has a habit of bringing her along to everything. So four of us (who once worked together) plus this wife.

The couple ordered extra starters, sides and alcoholic drinks. He made a comment a couple of times that "we'll pay extra for our bits". Myself, other friend and birthday girl don't drink so had a soft drink each and one starter and one main.

The bill came to £170. Our food and drinks came to around £25 each for the non-drinkers. The couple spent the rest. Male friend and his wife took it upon themselves to work the bill out and spent at least 5 mins doing it. As the birthday girl is close friends with the three of us (not the wife), I expected him to split her part between the three of us, and then split the rest of the bill according to what we roughly ordered. Instead he said that myself and the other non-drinking friend owed £48 each, and he paid £74. So he paid only £26 extra when he was supposed to be paying for 2 adults (himself and his wife) plus the non-drinking birthday girl (who's food and drink came to £25 and should have been split three ways).

Isn't this unfair? I feel like we also paid towards his uninvited wife. We paid it without saying anything as didn't want to make things awkward, especially in front of birthday girl. But how should I deal with things next time this happens??

For a bit more context: I am currently on an extended mat leave so no income. And him and his wife are top earners and earn more than any of us.

Just message and say you were thinking about last night and the calculations were wrong, get it sorted straight away.

In the future a simple 'hmm, that doesn't sound right, let me see that' at the time will sort the problem.

Why on earth didn't you say something at the time? More fool you. I would've said "that seems odd, can I see, aren't we splitting birthday girls rest equally"? ie let me have a look at the bill, I'm not paying for all you and your wife's extras.

Is the real issue you don’t like the wife

You really don’t seem to like his wife much.

You agree at the start of the meal that you are
going to pay for your own choices and not split the bill, plus that the three of you will cover birthday girl’s meal.

Then when the bill comes you say ‘that doesn’t sound right, please can I check?’

Did he account for a tip?

What does the other person that paid £48 say?
Was there two of you that reluctantly overpaid and said nothing?
I’m staggered by these type of posts as you’re out with friends that you have known a long time, supposed friends, have worked together and yet you’re not comfortable enough in their company to question their maths.

So his and his wives bill should have come to £95 and they only paid £76 between them? Haha what cheeky fuckers! They should have paid £107.50 (not including any tip) according to my calculations.

“Eh? I only had a coke. That doesn’t sound right. And aren’t we splitting birthday girl’s between us? Pass me the bill, let’s have a look.”

Take bill, divide properly, reveal new totals, pay, move on. Hopefully the wife doesn’t come again.

Oh and don’t message, it won’t end well. Instead of them being CFers you would become the petty one.

Use to happen to me with a friend who likes to over eat and have several starters.
I started to pay only for my things instead of splitting, and work out the bill and put down cash.
if it comes down to it ask for separate bills

No the bill was £170 so £34pp.

So couple's bill should have been £68 plus £11 contribution to birthday person's meal (op said split three ways, no one expected his wife to contribute to that).

Issue is op thinks her meal came to £25 and objects to an equal split of £34pp.

*Instead he said that myself and the other non-drinking friend owed £48 each, and he paid £74. So he paid only £26 extra when he was supposed to be paying for 2 adults (himself and his wife) plus the non-drinking birthday girl (who's food and drink came to £25 and should have been split three ways).

Isn't this unfair? I feel like we also paid towards his uninvited wife. We paid it without saying anything as didn't want to make things awkward, especially in front of birthday girl. But how should I deal with things next time this happens??*

Surely, if he had worked it out as 48 a head but 74 for them as a couple, you would have immediately gone ‘Hang on that’s not right as 2 x 48 = 96 which is way over your combined 74, and that’s not even allowing for the fact you had extras and alcoholic drinks that should have upped yours again. Something has gone wrong and you need to work it out again, or did you want me to do it’?

Maybe if he had a bit to drink his maths failed? Or, maybe he is a CF? Irrespective, it was really up to you to address at the time, not later on an internet forum. It didn’t have to be awkward at all but will be now after the fact.

It's too late now. I really don't understand why you sat there for 5 minutes and didn't intervene.

OP has paid about £10 more than she should have done.

Next time check the bill and pull out the old mobile calculator out! There is no shame

The shame is.on him!

No, the couple had more $$ items so were meant to be covering the difference.

BG and the other two were $25 each, so the other two (not in the couple) were to pay 25 + 1/3 of BG's meal + tip based on their final total, the couple were to pay the balance plus tip based on their final total.

No because CF and his wife had extra starters and alcoholic drinks which he stated he would pay the extra for, but then in actual fact paid LESS than half the total bill instead of more.

I am absolutely shit at maths plus it is very early on a Sunday morning so I could be wrong in my calculations btw.

What a tool. Next time I'd pre empt him bringing his wife and say how about just us eh? No partners. And then also don't let him work out the bill.

You are correct that it was unfair when you had previously agreed that they would cover their extras but there’s no point stewing on it if you weren’t prepared to say something at the time.

If you're in the UK it's definitely monday

Too late to challenge it now but next time someone else grab the bill and work it out, or just don’t invite the CF again.

I agree with @FamilyFunAdventure, it really drags the mood down after a lovely meal for everyone to dissect the bill to the penny. Just roughly split it, it is awkward for the waiting staff as well and it takes forever! £42.50 pp is not much at all and if you're fretting about a few quid, perhaps it would have been better to cook a meal at home.

Ah yes. I am also shit at the days of the week. 😊

You've mentioned a few times about the wife, I wonder if you'd be as annoyed if the wife hadn't eaten? Seems you've got the issue with a married man bringing his wife to the meal??