Friend regularly leaves 4yo at home for 15 mins

[SlinkySienna]

We are both single parents. She's not a close friend but we see each other regularly at a group both our sons go to. Our sons are 2 weeks apart, both were 4 in November. I was saying today how hard it is in the evenings when you're a lone parent, mainly because if you fancy a bar of chocolate and your child is asleep you can't just nip out (not a big issue, just never have chocolate when I need it!). She said 'just leave him at home, that's what I do. I can see the shop from my bedroom window and I'm always back within 15 mins'. My son has fallen out of bed in the past, or had a nightmare, and I wouldn't put it past him to wake up, call for me, and to go wandering round the house if I didn't respond. Is this actually something people do and just keep quiet, or am I in the majority here thinking that this is so ridiculously negligent?

It's all fine and perfectly safe

Until it isn't

This is by far serious negligence. Things can change in a split second with toddlers. Seriously? 15 minutes. That’s enough for some serious damage. I’m not going to say that it’s awful parenting. However, in my opinion, people like that just shouldn’t be parents. You can’t be that carefree with a 4 y/o

In my job I'd say this would be something I'd have to report to social services

definitely negligent. I wouldn’t have dreamt of leaving a 4 yo home alone.

Mad.

If she needs anything from the shops, there are 101 apps like Getir etc that she can order from.

I think she is completely wrong to do this. Did you tell her you think she shouldn't do it?

It’s a no from me!
Anything could happen in 15 minutes and 4 is very very young.
I remember when my Ds was 4 weeks old and I had to run outside to catch the bin men even that made me uneasy and I was 2 minutes tops.

Hasn't the parenting works learnt from other peoples errors 😵🫣🤯

And I don't know what use she thinks being able to see the shop from her bedroom window is

Did you say anything to her? It's always okay until something happens. Fuck sake.

it’s not just what he could do, what if she gets run over coming home- insanely stupid thing to do!

Yes it turned into a fairly drawn out conversation which consisted of me pointing out that anything could happen, what if she had an accident, or her 4yo fell down the stairs, to which she pointed out that he never wakes up and is a sound sleeper etc etc. I made it very clear that I didn't think it was a good idea.

If you do ever nip out to put a bin out etc take a key.

It's negligent. Better she use a delivery service - loads of local shops do it or she could call them and see if they'll deliver as she so close.
Social work / police will probably not investigate this with no evidence. Better to just advise your friend not to, offer alternatives to leaving kid alone (I.e. delivery) and warm hee what could happen if she does leave child home alone.x

The thought of leaving my son home alone for 15 minutes gives me anxiety... I don't understand how some people can physically leave the house and do this.

Right! I can see my local pub from my bedroom window but I wouldn't think it's OK to nip in and say hi to the landlord.

Someone might break in. The house next door might explode in a gas leak. What's she going to do from down the road?

Some people are plain stupid, your friend is one of those people. Anything could happen in 15 mins (if she SAYS she leaves her child that long you can bet in reality it’s longer).

It's an absolute no no.

Unless it's to go out with your husband and friends to a tapas restaurant. Then, according to MN, it's fine.

I’m not sure. I wouldn’t do it but I don’t think it’s 😱😱😱 either. I know four year olds that play out on their street without a parent and no one local bats an eyelid at that, and this child is way safer in bed than she would be on the street.

For a sensible well behaved child with a plan for what to so if there’s a problem it is a bit young but not negligent in my eye. Well way less negligent than what happens in children’s homes anyway.

Omg no this is absolutely negligent parenting. My Ds is 11 and gets left for 15 minutes alone. He has his phone to call me, a street full of good neighbours and a list of which ones to run to if need be and it takes him 15 minutes to walk home from school so hence why it's 15 minutes. We live in a safe area though with one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

I'm glad it's not just me then. For a split second I lost my mind and though I might just be being precious!

You know 4 year old that play on the road?

But, there's no such thing as a sensible 4yo. They don't have risk management skills, or know not to give in to negotiation when there's a weirdo knocking on the door etc.

And this! Just because some people let their 4yos out to play doesn't mean it is safe to. I don't even let my 4yo play in the garden on his own without checking on him every 30 seconds in case he's fallen off the swing or is pulling up my vegetables!