Friend regularly leaves 4yo at home for 15 mins

[SlinkySienna]

We are both single parents. She's not a close friend but we see each other regularly at a group both our sons go to. Our sons are 2 weeks apart, both were 4 in November. I was saying today how hard it is in the evenings when you're a lone parent, mainly because if you fancy a bar of chocolate and your child is asleep you can't just nip out (not a big issue, just never have chocolate when I need it!). She said 'just leave him at home, that's what I do. I can see the shop from my bedroom window and I'm always back within 15 mins'. My son has fallen out of bed in the past, or had a nightmare, and I wouldn't put it past him to wake up, call for me, and to go wandering round the house if I didn't respond. Is this actually something people do and just keep quiet, or am I in the majority here thinking that this is so ridiculously negligent?

Social services got involved when my nephew was left alone (5 at the time) whilst his dad went to the shop (parents not together). He was genuinely perplexed because “it’s just down the road and I locked the door, so what’s the problem?” I think him not understanding why it was dangerous was the scariest part about it.

My god no! I once got held up by a neighbour when I was putting something at the end of our path for all of 30 seconds whilst my daughter was napping and I've never been so anxious 😂

How often do you really check on him, just out of interest?

Absolutely not ok.

I wouldn't do this. If she can see the bedroom from where she is, the child is asleep and she can see on a monitor, it doesn't seem as bad, but 15 minutes is a very long time. I still would struggle to think this ok though

That poor kid. What if he chokes or falls down. The thought of him crying out and knowing the fear of being alone. I was that kid, being alone scared shitless. No electricity as had run out. Report her!

I always remember this sad case:

www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/surrey-news/children-killed-sutton-house-fire-22491563.amp

I bet it wasn’t the first time their mother had left them alone, and every other time they were probably fine. It’s really not worth the risk.

Mine were young, fast asleep and had literally never got back out of bed (in the eve) once gone off. DH was away and I realised bin wasn't out. So I went to do it as it was rammed incl nappies and on a fortnightly collection I couldn't afford to miss it.

We lived in a small 3 bed terrace on a quiet post war estate. I had to get the bin from the side alley and pull it a couple of metres to the pavement. My elderly next door neighbour had also not done theirs so I went back and moved theirs too. I was maybe 5 minutes.

I got back in the house and DD1 was sobbing on the stairs. She'd woken, called for me, had no reply and come to find me - gone. She was distraught. I hadn't heard her and she'd been completely unsupervised. It really frightened me.

I only let him play outside on his own if I'm cooking in the kitchen and I look out probably a few times a minute to make sure he's OK. I just do it naturally. One eye on the food, one eye on him. He's extremely impulsive as are a lot of 4yos so I don't trust him in the slightest not to do something daft! I spend a lot of time outside there with him as he's a nightmare to get to sleep unless he's had a good run around.

It's also the case of something could happen to her and no one would know her child is home alone

Someone needs to look out for this little boy.
I'd have to report this.
You'd never forgive yourself if something happened.
I wonder what else she thinks is fine but really isn't and I'd worry the little one isn't safe.

Wow, it’s completely unacceptable.
letting 4 year olds play out on the road unsupervised is also unacceptable.

It's negligent in every way.

I'd phone the police if I knew that was happening.

Insane.. what use is seeing the bedroom window if there is a fire, in one article a fireman said it takes about 6 minutes for the whole house to burn.

As for 4 year old playing on the street, was it last month when another tragedy happened because parents did bot supervise, where the 3 kids aged 6 to 11 drowned?

I was trying to see if there was an update on this case, but I couldn’t find one.
Locals said the mum was shopping at Sainsburys when the fire started.

Not fine but they got their punishment. Can't see why anyone would take pleasure in kicking someone when they are down.

I would report to ss. Not to be mean or get mum into trouble but in the interests of the child.

This is what can happen when you pop to the local shop.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10323777/Mother-four-young-boys-died-house-fire-jeered-angry-mob.html

This is something children’s services should know about. Four years old and being left alone in the house for 15 minutes. Makes me feel all funny thinking about it.
How completely and utterly irresponsible. Not to mention fucking stupid.

That's what I was thinking.

so refreshing to see that for once some idiot hasn’t been on to argue the toss about this two pages in.
of course it’s negligent and absolutely stupid

Absolutely a reporting matter. That's terrible negligence.

I wouldn't even go next door for fifteen minutes and leave my 4yo alone in the house, let alone down the road to the shop.

Please report this. If anything happened, you would feel awful if you stayed quiet.

I can see 4 year olds playing out,they do here. We live in a cul de sac opposite a wee playground, in a small village in rural Scotland. That playground is often populated by very small children on their own. My son was allowed to go by himself at about 4. He was desperate to be like the others. I felt it was ok as I can watch him walk around the curve of the cul de sac through the living room window. Then once he is in there, I can transfer over to the kitchen and do my veg prep etc at the sink watching him the whole time. I always have watched him, despite there usually being adults I know in with children who live too far to walk alone. He is 6 now and I have relaxed a bit about it, but I still keep a very close eye.

Of course it’s neglect. If the child wakes up to be sick it will freak out that there’s no mummy there. It could choke on something. Housefires…

Its pretty similar to the Madeleine McCann scenarios tbh