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Original poster

To not feel safe in changing rooms anymore?

1000 replies

WandaWomblesaurus · 15/01/2023 08:34

nypost.com/2023/01/14/sighting-of-trans-womans-penis-in-ymca-locker-room-sparks-tears/

Another story about an inappropriate man in a woman's changing room - is this what we are going to see more of in the UK now too? Having been both flashed and sexually assaulted in a public place, this chills me to the bone. Men who get a thrill out of exposing themselves to women will use any opportunity to do so. To think that they won't abuse women's spaces is to be wilfully and dangerously naive.

YANBU - Not unreasonable to think that flashing is flashing regardless of self ID and magical feelings.

YABU - Be kind to men etc etc

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 15/01/2023 15:31

Limesodas · 15/01/2023 14:58

Except trans women are women

They have every right to be changing in the women’s changing rooms

thankfully most get this

Show quote history

Oh go away.

Nobody believes that claptrap.

Many ardent believers mouth the lunacy but nobody actually believes it. Simply because it isn't true.

knittingaddict · 15/01/2023 15:31

Limesodas · 15/01/2023 14:58

Except trans women are women

They have every right to be changing in the women’s changing rooms

thankfully most get this

Show quote history

Most do, do they?

Trans women are not, and never can be, women.

Sideorderofchips · 15/01/2023 15:31

VaddaABeetch · 15/01/2023 15:30

I identify as an Archbishop, should I be treated as an Archbishop. Should people address me as Your Lord?

I identify as a cat

Meow.

(if only)

RinklyRomaine · 15/01/2023 15:31

20 seconds search on any social media platform or news site shows exactly what sort of men are taking advantage of this push for the invasion of womens spaces. The display and publicity is all part of it! Delete away but the truth is everywhere and the age of no debate is done.

I'll say it again, the guy on the House of Fraser twitter thread is far from unique, he isn't female and everyone knows it. The minute people realise this is who we mean, not the carefully media friendly curated OItNB presentation, hardly anyone is in favour of legislating gender over sex for safe space protection. We won't die out, because the alternative is insane.

nothingcomestonothing · 15/01/2023 15:33

YANBU.Fuck this shit. Seriously, fuck it now.

ReedRite · 15/01/2023 15:34

Limesodas · 15/01/2023 14:10

I, like most of the population couldn’t give a flying fuck who is using a changing room.

Thats my position. Many on here regularly forget their anti trans views are a minority one.

Not all women feel vulnerable in a changing room, I’m used to mixed sex changing rooms and see this as a lot of hysteria

Show quote history

Ah, so an ‘I’m alright Jack and fuck everyone else’ mentality.

Got it.

TooBored1 · 15/01/2023 15:35

I've had a woman do that to me. Even worse, it was directly off the shop floor so the ENTIRE shop saw me in my pants and bra.

Crimeismymiddlename · 15/01/2023 15:36

I have stopped using mixed changing rooms in shops due to this. Men don’t like them ether-it makes them feel uncomfortable.
The tide is changing my local Primark have gone from it all being mixed to the women’s side being women only and the men’s side being mixed. I asked why and the attendant told me it was the overwhelming number of complaints, and I am assuming incidents of men being inappropriate.
I can see other retailers going this way-people went mental when Matalan went mixed and they now seem to have individual cubicles on the shop floor now rather than a proper area-which I prefer and find easier.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 15/01/2023 15:36

Limesodas · 15/01/2023 14:10

I, like most of the population couldn’t give a flying fuck who is using a changing room.

Thats my position. Many on here regularly forget their anti trans views are a minority one.

Not all women feel vulnerable in a changing room, I’m used to mixed sex changing rooms and see this as a lot of hysteria

Show quote history

Hysteria? The very real fear of being assaulted, after in many cases, previously been a survivor of this kind of male violence? Really? Giver yer head a fecking good wobble Hmm

TooBored1 · 15/01/2023 15:36

TooBored1 · 15/01/2023 15:35

I've had a woman do that to me. Even worse, it was directly off the shop floor so the ENTIRE shop saw me in my pants and bra.

Sorry, that was meant to be in reply to the person who said they didn't believe the man opened the curtain by mistake.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 15/01/2023 15:37

This reply has been deleted

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SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 15/01/2023 15:38

Burgoo · 15/01/2023 15:15

For transparency I am a guy, though no mention was made as to whether men could comment…
There are points for and against you being unreasonable…

What does the data show? Not what you have experienced or what friends have. But the actual number of times this happens in a year? You can only really judge whether an emotion is reasonable based on how realistic the threat is. If it is 1% that is one thing, if it is 80% that is another.

Feelings do not mean facts. I can “feel” threatened but it does not mean I AM threatened. Again. it all comes down to how realistic the fear is. There is a huge issue with confirmation bias in all areas of life. We think we are at risk and therefore any (even remote) suggestion that we are at risk is expanded in our heads.

Would it be reasonable to be fearful of people based on race, ethnicity, sexuality etc? Is there a free pass for fearing all men?

That said, it makes sense why if you have had an experience that you may be fearful. If I were attacked by someone of a specific background, then I may be wary of that group in the future. Ironically, I was attacked by a person of another race once. If I were to say “I am fearful of X type of person” I would be called racist. But it does seem okay to say “I am fearful that men will attack me”. Its rather curious and shows a complete blind spot.

It is also interesting how we think that men will just randomly attack in changing rooms. If they are going to do it they will do it in areas where there are much less cameras (not in the actual rooms but in the shop just outside the changing rooms) like parks, streets etc. Men, as a rule, don’t need to say “I am a woman” to attack women. It is a red herring really.

As a man I don’t believe most men get “turned on” by woman getting changed. It isn’t exactly something people fantasise about from my experience. I’ve got many male friends who can’t even imagine spying on women in changing rooms, they are often there to shock horror get changed! I’ve also got many female friends, none of which report that they have ever had this experience.
In short, it may be reasonable if you have experienced something unpleasant AND it is easy to generalise and see risk everywhere. And I say this a male who was sexually assaulted by a male in a bar.

Take a deep breath and start reading.

Because everything you just typed boils down to NAMALT and women need to shut up.

You may not be one of 'those' men. Nor is my DH. But he doesn't think it is 'unfair' to safeguard women's safety by keeping men out of female spaces. He understands that some men do sexually assault women and that is need enough.

Basically good men understand women's need for privacy and dignity.

Only men who don't care about women's safety and dignity cavill about this.

Have a rethink. Maybe come back and explain why it bothers you that there are some spaces that you, any man, is not welcome.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 15:38

Sorry, that was meant to be in reply to the person who said they didn't believe the man opened the curtain by mistake.

What do you think this proves? Men will use the opportunity to "accidentally" do the same thing.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 15:39

Basically good men understand women's need for privacy and dignity.

Only men who don't care about women's safety and dignity cavill about this.

This.

knittingaddict · 15/01/2023 15:39

Feelings do not mean facts.

I love this bit of your post Burgoo. 😂

Indeed feelings are not facts. That rather undermines the whole trans ideology, doesn't it? Men argue that they "feel" like a woman therefore they are a woman. Not in fact true.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 15/01/2023 15:40

Hysteria? The very real fear of being assaulted, after in many cases, previously been a survivor of this kind of male violence? Really? Giver yer head a fecking good wobble

Apparently to @Limesodas that doesn't matter. As long as the men get to happily invade womens spaces because they woke up feeling like a woman that day, although curiously they never can say what feeling like a woman involves.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 15/01/2023 15:40

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 15:39

Basically good men understand women's need for privacy and dignity.

Only men who don't care about women's safety and dignity cavill about this.

This.

👏🏼

PoIIyPandemonium · 15/01/2023 15:41

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mollynolly · 15/01/2023 15:42

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LakieLady · 15/01/2023 15:43

VaddaABeetch · 15/01/2023 15:30

I identify as an Archbishop, should I be treated as an Archbishop. Should people address me as Your Lord?

No, because the correct form of address is "Your Grace".

PoIIyPandemonium · 15/01/2023 15:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 15:44

I’ve got many male friends who can’t even imagine spying on women in changing rooms

You've asked them about this, have you, and are 100% sure that they would definitely tell the truth?

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 15/01/2023 15:45

Limesodas · 15/01/2023 14:10

I, like most of the population couldn’t give a flying fuck who is using a changing room.

Thats my position. Many on here regularly forget their anti trans views are a minority one.

Not all women feel vulnerable in a changing room, I’m used to mixed sex changing rooms and see this as a lot of hysteria

Show quote history

I think you will find you are in the extreme minority, @Limesodas . All around the world. Which is WHY single sex spaces exist as the default all around the world.

Being pro womens rights is NOT 'anti trans'.

To not feel safe in changing rooms anymore?
Thelnebriati · 15/01/2023 15:45

YANBU. Calling women who object names is not in the spirit of The Equality Act.

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · 15/01/2023 15:46

YANBU OP. You as you must know, are in the overwhelming majority.

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