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Original poster

To not feel safe in changing rooms anymore?

1000 replies

WandaWomblesaurus · 15/01/2023 08:34

nypost.com/2023/01/14/sighting-of-trans-womans-penis-in-ymca-locker-room-sparks-tears/

Another story about an inappropriate man in a woman's changing room - is this what we are going to see more of in the UK now too? Having been both flashed and sexually assaulted in a public place, this chills me to the bone. Men who get a thrill out of exposing themselves to women will use any opportunity to do so. To think that they won't abuse women's spaces is to be wilfully and dangerously naive.

YANBU - Not unreasonable to think that flashing is flashing regardless of self ID and magical feelings.

YABU - Be kind to men etc etc

OP posts:
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Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus · 15/01/2023 20:18

Quinoawoman · 15/01/2023 16:12

This thread has just gone from bad to worse.

It is totally possible to be concerned about safety in changing rooms and seek to find solutions to that without being transphobic. Some posters have managed that, suggesting perhaps that the design of changing rooms needs to be changed. Others sadly cannot, and feel the need to say that trans women can never be women, etc. I have reported a couple of comments and they have been taken down, but I have much better things to do with my Sundays than to trawl through the post reporting everything.

Lots of people also screaming about women's rights and abuse without factoring in the experience of the vast majority of the trans community - who are also a target for abuse from males (and sadly, from the comments on this thread, verbal abuse from females too). Personally, I would feel safer around trans women who still have penises than male-presenting penis owners, being aware that those who suffer abuse are at the hands of men are way less likely to perpetrate it against others. I understand from some of the articles linked here that there are exceptions, but as someone else has pointed out, we have very little hard data about how common this actually is.

I hope none of those who have made such statements ever have trans children, because it would be pretty traumatic for those children to come out to parents with such vile views.

What are trans children? Do you believe children are born in the wrong body?
Sounds like science fiction surely?
Do you need to lie down?

OP posts:
findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:19

NeighbourhoodWatchPotholeDivision · 15/01/2023 20:18

If we agree, what have you done this week to campaign against male rapists being placed in women's prisons?

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Nothing.

Does that make my opinion irrelevant?

VinoDino · 15/01/2023 20:19

Transwoman and woman are fine. Cis isn't necessary.

Like someone said on another thread. It's like inventing a word for someone who doesn't collect stamps.

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:20

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 20:18

That would be fair enough if trans was invented as a direct threat to you being a woman.

I didn't say it was. I said it was meaningless. Men are a statistical threat to me, as a woman, and in my belief system they are simply adult human male people, regardless of their own personal feelings about it.

I see. Back to women good, men bad.

Its an awfully clear cut way to live.

Cherry60 · 15/01/2023 20:20

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:17

Then should all atheists be offended?

I should certainly be offended at how regularly I am called a MRA, given that I dont believe in it.

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I'm sure some people object to being called atheists, yes. And if they object, people should have the decency not to describe them in that way. It's hardly comparable with 'cis' though.

RinklyRomaine · 15/01/2023 20:20

And? Women are not a sub category and don't need a prefix.

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:20

VinoDino · 15/01/2023 20:19

Transwoman and woman are fine. Cis isn't necessary.

Like someone said on another thread. It's like inventing a word for someone who doesn't collect stamps.

You seem to lack the ability to tell the difference between facts and in your opinion.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 15/01/2023 20:20

Cis was used to distinguish from transwomen because everyone was so up in arms that one might dare to call themselves a women. They wanted their extra special word to distiguish from those awful transwoman, they got one.

No they didn't. Woman is absolutely fine. Trans women cannot call themselves women. They are trans women.

Original poster
WandaWomblesaurus · 15/01/2023 20:21

Baldieheid · 15/01/2023 16:31

The whole "men will do it anyway" argument is fucking tedious at this point.

What the fuck has happened to women's brains over the last 20 years? JFC it's like theire brains have been sucked out by aliens and replaced with cold custard.

Not custard. Gender fluid.

OP posts:
findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:21

Cherry60 · 15/01/2023 20:20

I'm sure some people object to being called atheists, yes. And if they object, people should have the decency not to describe them in that way. It's hardly comparable with 'cis' though.

Show quote history

Why not?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 20:21

is the Oxford dictionary an ideology?

There are lots of things which have dictionary definitions which are dubious in the extreme. I don't accept the premise the word is founded on.

Here's a similar concept with a Wikipedia entry:

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_thetan

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:21

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 15/01/2023 20:20

Cis was used to distinguish from transwomen because everyone was so up in arms that one might dare to call themselves a women. They wanted their extra special word to distiguish from those awful transwoman, they got one.

No they didn't. Woman is absolutely fine. Trans women cannot call themselves women. They are trans women.

Ah, but they can. If they choose to.

AndyWarholsPiehole · 15/01/2023 20:22

is the Oxford dictionary an ideology?

The OED also contains the word 'transubstantiation' .

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 20:22

And we can choose not to.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 15/01/2023 20:22

Ah, but they can. If they choose to.

Then they'd be wrong. They're trans women, aka men.

BellePeppa · 15/01/2023 20:22

Lincolnremain · 15/01/2023 18:03

And it is hysteria. I bet half of these people don't even know any trans people.

You don’t have to ‘know’ them you can see them. The ones I’ve seen are obviously male but dressed in women’s clothes. Now when they’re walking around Sainsbury’s that’s fine but that doesn’t mean I want them in the loos. Build more unisex loos that are self contained so no one has to feel threatened which sex or gender you are and make them all changing cubicles (which they mostly are) so no more communal ones (I haven’t been in a communal changing room for years so not sure they even exist nowadays).

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:23

WandaWomblesaurus · 15/01/2023 20:18

What are trans children? Do you believe children are born in the wrong body?
Sounds like science fiction surely?
Do you need to lie down?

Show quote history

Hence my point about the need to not be so offensive, as per your "gender fluid" comment.

Mocking at, sneering and taking the mick out of someone's beliefs...I'm sure ther's a word for that.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 15/01/2023 20:23

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:18

They really can't win, can they?

Cis was used to distinguish from transwomen because everyone was so up in arms that one might dare to call themselves a women. They wanted their extra special word to distiguish from those awful transwoman, they got one.

Stamping your feet and saying I'm a woman and you're not doesnt make trans go away.

Show quote history

Being called a trans woman is fine for woman that aren't actually women. For women that are, woman/women is fine that's. No need for cis anything.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 20:23

I see. Back to women good, men bad.

No, just a simple risk analysis.

Hillcrest2022 · 15/01/2023 20:23

@findmybalance is misogynistic and hates women. In the spirit of assigning labels. That's yours.

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:23

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 20:22

And we can choose not to.

I agree. but at some point, you (not you specifically ) have to accept that people don't think the same as you.

And not thinking the same as you is okay.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 15/01/2023 20:24

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:21

Ah, but they can. If they choose to.

Show quote history

It would be wrong

Ereshkigalangcleg · 15/01/2023 20:24

I do accept that. Not all beliefs are equally valid.

RinklyRomaine · 15/01/2023 20:24

Of course it is. People can think what they like. Doesn't alter reality or negate safeguarding though.

findmybalance · 15/01/2023 20:24

Hillcrest2022 · 15/01/2023 20:23

@findmybalance is misogynistic and hates women. In the spirit of assigning labels. That's yours.

if you like. I mean, it's nothing like the truth, but you do you.

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